Now this is the story all about how
The Catholic Church got flipped upside down
And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there
And tell you how we got into this mess that we're into right here

In western society, born and raised
Confided in the faith of Jesus is how the early Christians spent most of their days
Chillin out, maxin, relaxin all cool,
And all reading some scripture outside of the ѕуηαgσgυє (to the accursed Jєωs)
When a couple of heretics, who were up to no good
Started re-interpreting God in His Godhood
The Church got in one little fight and Our Mom got scared
And said "Alright, my Divine Son says I'll allow this to happen as I am all just and fair"
The SSPX begged and pleaded with Rome day after day
But they pouted their cheeks and kept them at bay with (invalid) excommunications sent their way
They gave the SSPX a kiss and gave them a ticket
They went on their way and said "Absolutely not, we will not suppress tradition", or in other words, "we might as well kick it!"

Modernist heresies abound and a departure from tradition, yo this is bad
People are drinking hellfire out of a champaine glass
Is this what the people of the post-conciliar Church are living like?
Oh my.. Maybe things won't exactly be alright
But wait I heard of the "Meal" of the Mass, the writings of the Church Fathers and all that
Is hell really the type of place we should send all of the Earth's cool cats?
I don't think so, we'll see when most of the world gets there,
I hope they're prepared for the Prince of All That Is Fair

Well ah the Lord of Lords returned and judgment day came about,
There was a dude that looked like a King standing there with my name
out
I aint trying to go to hell yet man, I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightning dissapeared
I whistled for the mercy cab and when it came near
The license plate said "Depart from me" and it had The Crucifix in the mirror
If anything I can say this cab was rare
But I thought naw forget it yo homes to Heaven in the air!

I pulled up to the gates about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabby "Yo homes smell ya later"
I looked at His kingdom and, I was finally there
Sadly, I was to be cast out of heaven for accepting the heresies of this world's foolish belle guerre

Yeah, it took me a few seconds to realize this is set to the tune of the "Fresh Prince of Bel-air" theme song LOL!