Actual events from this morning:

I will replace the actual names with [MOTHER], [DAUGHTER], [SON]   Daughter = 5-year-old girl.  Son = 10-year-old boy.

This 5-year-old girl is scary smart.  She's been using complex sentences and polysyllabic words since the age of 3 ... often expressing profound, even deeply philosophical, thoughts.  But she's also big trouble.  Because of how she thinks, she's going through her teenage rebellion stage already at the age of 5 (started at 4 actually).

sent to me this morning by my wife:

I reprimanded [Daughter] a bit ago for calling me a name.  She has the gall to immediately after demand that I buy her a Christmas Dress TODAY!!  I say no, I may not buy you one at all.  Conversation as follows:  [Daughter]:  I'm sorry I said that, Mom.  Can you buy me a dress? [Mother]:  If you were really sorry, you would tell me that I don't have to buy you one because you were so mean and don't deserve a dress.  [Daughter]:  Stunned look.  Walks away (after hanging off freezer).  Later on as I'm in the bathroom getting ready [Daughter] comes in with some money.  [Daughter]:  Here Mom, I will pay for the dress, you don't have to.  Is this enough?  (counts out $.13.)  [Mother]:  Almost enough, I will pay for the rest of it, just put it in my purse. Thank you, that was very nice of you.  [Daughter]:  I stole this money from [Son]'s dresser.  I didn't have any.

I get something like this several times a week.

 :D