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Author Topic: Funny Stuff  (Read 1178651 times)

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Online Mark 79

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Re: Funny Stuff
« Reply #3210 on: June 27, 2023, 08:47:42 PM »
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    Offline Kazimierz

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #3211 on: June 30, 2023, 04:11:56 PM »
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    Da pacem Domine in diebus nostris
    Qui non est alius
    Qui pugnet pro nobis
    Nisi  tu Deus noster

    Offline Kazimierz

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #3212 on: June 30, 2023, 04:18:15 PM »
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    Da pacem Domine in diebus nostris
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    Nisi  tu Deus noster

    Offline cassini

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #3213 on: July 11, 2023, 03:48:20 AM »
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    • Whether or not you remember the milkman leaving bottled milk, these milk bottle notes should make you smile .
    No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice.
    ***
    Milkman, please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk.
    ***
    Dear milkman: I’ve just had a baby, please leave another one.
    ***
    When you leave my milk please knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress.
    ***
    Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk.
    ***
    Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me.
    ***
    Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant.
    ***
    Will you tell your horse not to poo outside my house. It’s better at number 17, he puts it on his strawberries.
    ***
    Cancel one pint after the day after today.
    ***
    My back door is open. Please put milk in ‘fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight.
    ***
    Milkman, please could I have a loaf but not bread today.
    ***
    Please don’t leave any more milk. All they do is drink it.
    ***
    Please knock. My TV’s broken down and I missed last night’s Coronation Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened over a cup of tea?
    ***
    Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it.
    ***
    Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two sons on the dole.
    ***
    Just to let you know my aunt died at number 23 and won’t need milk for the foreseeable future.
    ***
    Milkman please put coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door.
    P.S. Don’t leave any milk.
    ***
    And now to end with two that are models of clarity:
    ***
    Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday.
    ***
    From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don’t want any milk.
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    Offline TKGS

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #3214 on: July 11, 2023, 08:48:08 AM »
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    • Quote from: cassini on July 11, 2023, 03:48:20 AM
    Whether or not you remember the milkman leaving bottled milk, these milk bottle notes should make you smile .
    While my family did not get milk delivered to the house, I remember often seeing the milkman delivering milk (and other dairy products) to some of the neighbors as I walked to school in the mid-1960s.  
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    Offline BOTHY

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #3215 on: July 13, 2023, 07:35:29 AM »
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    Offline cassini

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #3216 on: July 14, 2023, 05:12:40 AM »
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    • A teenage Boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his Father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.
    His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your haircut. Then we'll talk about the car."
    The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.
    After about Six Weeks his father said, "Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut."
    The Boy said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair"...!
    Dad replied "Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went? None had a car!"
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    Offline Always

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #3217 on: July 14, 2023, 04:32:03 PM »
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    Offline Soubirous

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #3218 on: July 15, 2023, 07:25:37 PM »
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    Let nothing disturb you, let nothing frighten you, all things pass away: God never changes. Patience obtains all things. He who has God finds he lacks nothing; God alone suffices. - St. Teresa of Jesus

    Offline Kazimierz

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #3219 on: July 17, 2023, 12:01:05 PM »
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    Da pacem Domine in diebus nostris
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    Offline Kazimierz

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #3220 on: July 17, 2023, 12:01:40 PM »
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    Offline Kazimierz

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #3221 on: July 17, 2023, 12:13:37 PM »
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    Offline Kazimierz

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #3222 on: July 17, 2023, 12:14:23 PM »
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    Offline Kazimierz

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #3223 on: July 17, 2023, 12:16:07 PM »
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    Offline Soubirous

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #3224 on: July 19, 2023, 02:03:54 PM »
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    Let nothing disturb you, let nothing frighten you, all things pass away: God never changes. Patience obtains all things. He who has God finds he lacks nothing; God alone suffices. - St. Teresa of Jesus
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