There was this little old lady who was late for church. She is going 65 on a street where the speed limit is 40. It didn’t take long before a police man pulls her over and says “Ma’am, can I see you license, please?” She says “I’m sorry, officer, but I got it revoked two years ago for drunk driving.”

He tries again, “Well then, can I please see your registration?” She hangs her head and says, “I apologize officer. I stole the car and I killed the driver; he’s in the trunk. I feel so bad.”

“Ma’am, DON’T MOVE.” The officer frantically calls in to his walkie-talkie… .


Within minutes there are sirens blaring, lights flashing, half a dozen police car are surrounding the woman’s car.  The Chief of Police steps out and walks over to the woman’s window. “Ma’am, can I see your license, please?”

“Of course, officer.” she smiles sweetly and pulls out a license from her purse.

He squints warily at it. “This looks good.”

“Can I see the registration to this car?” She reaches into her purse again and hands it to him. He looks at it, then hands it back to her.

“Ma’am, can you pop the trunk, please?”

“Certainly officer.” He steps back, but, it is completely empty.

The little old lady shakes her finger at the first officer and says accusingly, “And, I’ll bet that liar told you I was speeding too!!”  

This is a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida:

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! GET OUT OF THE CAR!"

The four men didn't wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad.

The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then she realized why. It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee, and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat.

A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.

No charges were filed.

Moral of the story?

If you're going to have a senior moment...make it memorable!