Author Topic: Forrest Gump dies, and meets Peter at the Pearly Gates  (Read 627 times)

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Offline Neil Obstat

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Forrest Gump dies, and meets Peter at the Pearly Gates
« on: May 06, 2017, 09:26:41 PM »
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    St. Peter says that all Gump has to do is pass the final exam and he can get into heaven.
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    Forrest Gump is saddened, saying that he had no idea there would be a final test to go to heaven.
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    St. Peter assures him that it's not too hard, and he should do just fine.
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    Gump replies, "Oh, well, I guess if you say so, it'll be all right then."
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    St. Peter says, "There are only 3 questions, and there is no hurry to answer, so take your time."
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    Gump says, "Okay."
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    "First question: What are the two days of the week that begin with T?  Second question: How many seconds are there in a year?  And third question: What is God's first name?"
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    Gump asked for him to repeat the questions. Then he went away and thought about it for a long time.
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    The next day, Gump returned to the pearly gates and told St. Peter he's ready to give his answers. Fine, said St. Peter, What's the answer to the first question, what two days begin with the letter T? Gump replied that he had to think really hard about that one, and the best he could come up with is, "Today" and "Tomorrow." 
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    St. Peter, surprised, said that's not exactly what I had in mind, but since I can't say that's a wrong answer, I'm going to give you a pass. Moving on to the next question, St. Peter askes, so how many seconds are in a year?
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    Gump again confessed that he had to think for a long time about this, and he kept coming up with the same number again and again. St. Peter said, "What number is that?" But Gump replied, "Twelve." 
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    "Twelve? How do you arrive at twelve seconds in a whole year, Forrest?" 
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    Gump replied, "Well, I thought there's January second, then there's February second, and March second, and April second, and so on, for 12 months." 
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    St. Peter again was surprised. "All right, then, I suppose you got the first two. What about God's first name? Can you tell me what that is?"
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    Gump said, "Well, St. Peter, it's just GOT to be Andy." 
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    "Andy!?" asked St. Peter. 
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    "That's right, Andy, just like in the song (singing) -- Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me..."
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    St. Peter opened the pearly gates and said, "Run, Forrest! Run!!"
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