Author Topic: Catholic Jokes (Read 12761 times)

Sigismund · « **Reply #20 on:** May 12, 2013, 06:20:06 PM »

Quote from: Rosarium

Quote from: Philomene Marie
YOU KNOW YOU’RE A CATHOLIC IF:
Your doorbell plays "Ave Maria."

Surprisingly relevant comedy routine about doorbells and Catholics:

Very funny!

TKGS · « **Reply #21 on:** March 09, 2014, 06:01:57 AM »

Ever since becoming a traditional Catholic, I've found Lent to be very difficult. In the Conciliar church one doesn't have to fast hardly at all. In fact, sometimes it's completely forgotten about and the priests don't really care.

But when you come to tradition, the priests are always talking about the Lenten fast and you have to fast all through Lent! Every Lenten season I gain at least 30 pounds because I have to fast.

I just don't know how much longer I can take 3 meals a day at McDonalds, Burger King, Taco Bell, Wendy's, and other fast food places!

Neil Obstat · « **Reply #22 on:** April 02, 2014, 11:45:49 AM »

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A man died, and found himself standing in line waiting to approach St. Peter at the pearly gates. Our friend looked up ahead to see that St. Peter was speaking to one person at a time as the queue slowly moved forward. Then our friend heard the sound of a man approaching from behind, saying, "Excuse me. Beg pardon. Pardon me. Excuse me. I beg your pardon. Sorry, I have to get through. Pardon me. ..."

The approaching man was wearing a white lab smock and had a stethoscope hanging around his neck and a round reflector strapped to his forehead; and he was passing up everyone waiting in the queue, asking them to forgive him because he was in a hurry?

Our friend was shocked at this, and so, when he finally got up to speak with St. Peter, he asked, "Who does that guy think he is, the one who was passing everyone up to get here without waiting in line?" St. Peter said, "Oh, that was God, dressed up to look like that. Sometimes He likes to play doctor."

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Neil Obstat · « **Reply #23 on:** April 02, 2014, 11:59:54 AM »

Quote from: Sigismund

Quote from: Rosarium
Quote from: Philomene Marie
YOU KNOW YOU’RE A CATHOLIC IF:
Your doorbell plays "Ave Maria."

Surprisingly relevant comedy routine about doorbells and Catholics:

Very funny!

In the linked "Doorbells" video, Bill Bailey (won't you please come home?) said the augmented fourth or diminished fifth (depending upon your outlook on life) was "banned" at the Council of Trent. It seems odd he wouldn't have used the standard term for that interval: it's called a tri-tone. Maybe he didn't use the proper term because then someone might look it up.

Interestingly, we have a piece that is commonly sung for Trinity Sunday, De Trinitate, based on a composition by Adam of St. Victor, xii cent., which contains at least 16 tri-tones. It was in common use long before Vat.II, so how could the tri-tone have been "banned?"

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