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An Irish cop is walking his beat when he sees several cars stopped on the bridge ahead. He runs up to try to find out what the cause of the commotion is. As he soon learns, the motorists are all staring at a man in a business suit who is standing on the edge of a girter. He looks like he's contemplating jumping off. So the cop pushes his way to the front of the gathering crowd and tries to talk the man out of killing himself.

"Don't jump! Think of your wife! What's she going to do?" he shouts.

"Don't have one, don't care, I'm going to jump," the man replies.

"Think of your mother!"

"She's dead, don't care, I'm going to jump."

"Well, then, think of the Blessed Virgin!"

"The who?"

"Jump, Protestant! You're holding up traffic!"





Father Flanagan and Rabbi Cohn had a little feud going about whose church had more money. They were always showing off to each other. Father Flanagan made sure to honk the horn of his new Corvette as he drove by the ѕуηαgσgυє. Rabbi Cohn then came up with a new Porsche.

One day they met at a light and all of a sudden they were drag racing down the street. The road narrowed and a light ahead quickly turned red.
The Rabbi, who was slightly ahead of the priest, pulled into his lane and slammed on his brakes to stop for the light. Of course Father Flanagan couldn't stop in time and he rear-ended the Rabbi.

As the cops were surveying the wreckage, Officer O'Malley approached Father Flanagan and asked, "Tell me Father, how fast was the Jew going when he backed into you"?




Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'

The man said, 'I do, Father.'

The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.'

Then the priest asked the second man, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'

'Certainly, Father,' was the man's reply.

'Then stand over there against the wall,' said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'

O'Toole said, 'No, I don't Father.'

The priest said, 'I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?'

O'Toole said, 'Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.'