Author Topic: Catholic Horses  (Read 1335 times)

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Offline Matthew

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Catholic Horses
« on: September 03, 2009, 01:54:04 PM »
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  • Catholic Horses

    One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a Priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.

    Lo and behold, that horse--a very long shot--- won the race.

    Before the next race, as the horses began lining up, Mitch watched with interest the old Priest step onto the track.

    Sure enough, as the horses of the 5th race came to the starting gate the Priest made a blessing on the forehead of one of the horses.

    Mitch made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse.

    Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse the Priest had blessed won the race.

    Mitch collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the Priest would bless for the 6th race.

    The Priest again blessed a horse.

    Mitch bet big on it, and it won. Mitch was elated.

    As the races continued the Priest kept blessing long shot horses, and each one ended up coming in first.

    By and by, Mitch was pulling in some serious money.

    By the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true.

    He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew all his savings, and awaited the Priest's blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on.

    True to his pattern, the Priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an old nag that was the longest shot of the day. Mitch also observed the Priest blessing the eyes, ears, and hooves of the old nag.

    Mitch knew he had a winner and bet every cent he owned on the old nag.

    He then watched dumbfounded as the old nag come in dead last.

    Mitch, in a state of shock, made his way down to the track area where the priest was. Confronting the old priest he demanded, "Father! What happened? All day long you blessed horses and they all won.

    Then in the last race, the horse you blessed lost by a Kentucky mile. Now, thanks to you I've lost every cent of my savings---all of it!".

    The priest nodded wisely and with sympathy.

    "Son," he said, "that's the problem with you Protestants, you can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and last rites."
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    Offline Lybus

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    Catholic Horses
    « Reply #1 on: September 03, 2009, 03:41:41 PM »
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  • I liked that one.

    In regards to being a responsible man, would it be interesting to learn, after six years of accumulating all the wisdom you could, that you had it right all alon


    Offline Elizabeth

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    Catholic Horses
    « Reply #2 on: September 03, 2009, 09:08:12 PM »
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  •  :laugh1:

    Offline Viva Cristo Rey

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    Re: Catholic Horses
    « Reply #3 on: August 30, 2019, 12:37:36 AM »
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  •  :laugh1:
    To live with the Saints in Heaven is all bliss and glory....To live with the saints on Earth is just another story!  (unknown)

    Offline Stubborn

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    Re: Catholic Horses
    « Reply #4 on: August 30, 2019, 08:58:56 AM »
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  • LOL
    For a small gain they travel far; for eternal life many will scarcely lift a foot from the ground. - Thomas A Kempis


    Offline forlorn

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    Re: Catholic Horses
    « Reply #5 on: August 30, 2019, 09:04:37 AM »
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  •  :laugh1: :applause:

    Offline Ladislaus

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    Re: Catholic Horses
    « Reply #6 on: August 30, 2019, 09:23:48 AM »
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  • Great.  Unfortunately, I figured it out as soon as the priest started making the extra signs of the cross on the old horse.  I love the shot against the Prots.

    This line was a dead giveaway (pun intended) for a Catholic familiar with Last Rites:
    Quote
    Mitch also observed the Priest blessing the eyes, ears, and hooves of the old nag.




    Offline ByzCat3000

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    Re: Catholic Horses
    « Reply #7 on: August 30, 2019, 09:37:09 AM »
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  • And the fact that I didn’t catch it makes my “recent convert” status obvious lol 


    Offline Matto

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    Re: Catholic Horses
    « Reply #8 on: August 30, 2019, 10:05:37 AM »
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  • Great.  Unfortunately, I figured it out as soon as the priest started making the extra signs of the cross on the old horse.  I love the shot against the Prots.

    This line was a dead giveaway (pun intended) for a Catholic familiar with Last Rites:

    I knew what was going to happen earlier, but the blessings on the various body parts did give it away. I think I heard this joke already which is why I knew.
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    Offline jvk

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    Re: Catholic Horses
    « Reply #9 on: September 07, 2019, 10:00:09 PM »
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  • I told this to my husband, and he guessed the punch line :(

    Offline Maria Regina

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    Re: Catholic Horses
    « Reply #10 on: September 08, 2019, 01:00:28 AM »
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  •  :)

    Lord have mercy.


     

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