Hatred is when you have no charity in your heart for someone. You believe he is totally evil, and can do no right.
To avoid hatred doesn't mean we have to totally approve of someone's bad behavior, or even want to be around them. Perhaps they are in a state of sin and/or heresy, and might corrupt us. For these individuals, we would have to restrict ourselves to praying and making sacrifices for them. All other contact (admonishment, etc.) would have to be relatively minimal. The exact amount of contact with these people living in sin/error would depend on the individual, the level of error, and the risk of ourselves being corrupted.
But if you find yourself believing that someone can DO NO RIGHT, then you might hate them.
For example, let's consider a hypothetical Fr. Zed, and blogger named Great Taste, who runs the following headlines after Fr. Zed performs various actions:
Fr. Zed walks past a homeless man with a sign.
A) Fr. Zed gives money to the homeless man.
Headline: "Pharisee Fr. Zed blows a Tɾυmρet in the marketplace and attempts to make himself look holy, the better to deceive people and suck up their money. He tries to assuage his dirty conscience and feel big by giving a token alms to a single homeless man."
B) Fr. Zed does not give any money to the homeless man.
Headline: "I was hungry, and you gave me not to eat. Thirsty, and you gave me not to drink. Charity-less Fr. Zed joins the goats on the left and lets homeless man starve."
Then a group of Resistance Catholics in Timbuktu, NM ask Fr. Zed to say Mass for them.
A) Fr. Zed tells this group in Timbuktu, NM that he has too many existing obligations to be able to say Mass for them there.
Headline: "Fr. Zed ignores the poor Mexicans and other poor people living in Timbuktu. They weren't good enough or didn't have enough money for his exclusive club."
B) Fr. Zed tells this group in Timbuktu, NM that he will say Mass for them during the week whenever he can.
Headline: "Fr. Zed continues his campaign to take over the Resistance in the whole United States, as his subversion and cash grab continue."
Now this Fr. Zed is accused of some scandalous crime by the Great Taste blog, or another blog on the same "side" as him:
A) Fr. Zed writes a letter defending himself.
Headline: "Methinks Fr. Zed doth protest too much. He vainly tries to expunge his guilt, but he's only digging himself a deeper hole."
B) Fr. Zed decides it would be better to remain silent about so ridiculous a charge.
Headline: "Fr. Zed caught like a deer in the headlights after our last report about Fr. Zed committing _______. Eyes cast down, he can only respond with silence."
Now Fr. Zed is at a potluck after Mass at one of his Mass locations.
A) Fr. Zed declines a plate of food.
Headline: "Hypocrite Fr. Zed plays the saint and ostentatiously fasts in front of everyone. ON SUNDAY, no less! He probably doesn't like the food, or it's not rich enough for him. He probably went to an expensive restaurant soon after he left."
B) Fr. Zed accepts a plate of food someone hands to him and eats it.
Headline: "Gluttonous Fr. Zed scarfs down a plate of free food at potluck after Mass. He made several people with important questions about the Faith and morality WAIT while he stuffed his face for at least 10 minutes."
See how you can't win with these haters?What I want everyone to understand is that a hater *can* and *will* distort every single thing a target person does -- even if that target is blameless and saintly
-- and try to turn it into something evil and unattractive to a decent person. The will is attracted to what is good; so if we believe something is evil (e.g., sin) we will be repulsed by it. Even the sins we commit, we commit under the aspect of what GOOD they bring us (pleasure, material goods, venting our passions, etc.)I also want everyone to see how EASY IT IS to cast every action in the worst possible light. When you hate someone, this becomes second nature
; you do it without even thinking about it.
The saints didn't act this way. They did the OPPOSITE -- they bent their minds over backwards to try to excuse every action, casting it in the best possible light. They saw their neighbor as better than themselves.
 But whereunto shall I esteem this generation to be like? It is like to children sitting in the market place.  Who crying to their companions say: We have piped to you, and you have not danced: we have lamented, and you have not mourned.  For John came neither eating nor drinking; and they say: He hath a devil.  The Son of man came eating and drinking, and they say: Behold a man that is a glutton and a wine drinker, a friend of publicans and sinners. And wisdom is justified by her children.