OHCA is actually using the word well. In your case maybe it's more of a naiveté, but when a person believes so much influence sits on their shoulders and they can be the savior of another there is often a thick layer of pride beneath such "good intentions".
The most classic case is the good girl who thinks she can be the ONE to change the bad boy. So she dates him or marries him in spite of all reason and warnings not to associate with him. He never does change and she is the one to suffer because now she is stuck. Or she ends up falling herself because she placed herself in occasions of sin or a life of suffering that she could not handle.
Wanting to help others is a good thing and we all depend heavily on good examples. But the other person has to be WILLing to love God and save their souls. Not for you, not for anyone but God's sake and their own. When that prerequisite is not present, a person wanting to help is depending too much on their own efforts. If such a one won't change for God, why would they change for you?
When you dig deep into such situations they are rooted in the person overestimating their influence and importance. They see themselves as saviors though they may not realize it at first. It takes a lot of introspection to find that layer of pride beneath it all. On the surface the intentions are good, but we know what they say about good intentions...
That is, I believe, what OHCA is pointing out here and has pointed out in many other threads where you come across as having OLMC's success or failure depending on you.
Very wise post, wallflower. This post really rang true and resonated with me. Especially the part about the "girl trying to change the bad boy".
In fact, I've seen this personally -- only with a magnanimous, noble-hearted young man feeling pity for a "damaged goods" girl (mental problems, mental retardation, physical defects, a Magdalene, etc.). I've even heard such young men say, "I can't just dump her; who else will marry her?" but like Wallflower says,
these big-hearted, noble gestures are often rashly made, and based on pure emotion at the time (love, infatuation) and don't necessarily imply the wherewithal or long-term ability to carry through on a LIFE OF SUFFERING that will follow if they marry someone for life.
Luke chapter 14 comes to mind: [28] For which of you having a mind to build a tower, doth not first sit down, and reckon the charges that are necessary, whether he have wherewithal to finish it: [29] Lest, after he hath laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, all that see it begin to mock him, [30] Saying: This man began to build, and was not able to finish.
Now in Manuel's case, there's not a lifelong marriage at stake,
but his brother might be scarred for life, and his Faith might be affected long-term by Pablo and his multi-year stay at OLMC in Kentucky.
For Manuel, I would advise St. Matthew chapter 7: [6] Give not that which is holy to dogs; neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest perhaps they trample them under their feet, and turning upon you, they tear you.
I find that verse interesting, because beyond than the commonly understood and obvious meaning (the waste of time in presenting the Faith to those not interested) he actually warns of actual DANGER to the person wasting their time thus. They could actually end up in trouble for their wasted effort!
If swine trampled pearls under their feet, wouldn't some of them get scuffed, or lost in the muck? If you wade into a group of atheists and try to convert them, and they throw at you all kinds of arguments why they don't believe, might it not damage your Faith somewhat in the process? Especially if you weren't super-prepared (like a priest spending 7 years in a seminary) both spiritually and intellectually?
Topic: Fr. Pfeiffer mentions a Fr. Tetherow - who? (Read 134070 times)