A Catholic once saw this guy on the Golden Gate Bridge about to jump. He said, "Don't do it!" The poor fellow said, "Nobody loves me." The Catholic said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
He said, "Yes." He said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." He said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Catholic." The Catholic said, "Me, too! Novus ordo or Trent?" He said, "Trent." He said, "Me, too! Una cuм or non una cuм?" He said, "Non una cuм!" The man said, "Me, too! Sedevacantist or Sedeprivationist?"
He said, "Sedeprivationist." The rescuer said, "Me, too! SGG or MHT?" He said, "SGG. Me, too! But who Confirmed you, Bp. McGuire or Bp. Sanborn?”
He said, "Bp. Sanborn.” The rescuer replied , "Die, heretic!" And pushed him over.