You made some really good points. I would add a further distinction which may provide additional clarity - namely, the distinction between the intrinsic and extrinsic value of the Novus Ordo Mass. The intrinsic value of any Mass - that is, the efficacious power of itself (in actu primo) is infinite - since Christ himself is the priest and victim being offered.
The extrinsic value of the Mass, in relation to man - that is, the fruits that we derive from the Mass - is finite, and it is limited by many things. Not just our disposition, but many other factors as well. One thing that limits the extrinsic value of a Mass is the liturgy and the externals (the smells and bells). The more glory the liturgy gives to God, the greater will be the extrinsic value of the Mass; the less glory it gives to God, the less extrinsic value, and hence the fewer fruits that are derived from it. This is where the problem with the Novus Ordo comes in.
The extrinsic value of a Novus Ordo Mass is greatly diminished by the watered down liturgy, ambiguous prayers, bad translations, etc., so, it can be said to be evil (lacking in a due good) for those reasons - which relate to its extrinsic value. But it will never be evil (lacking in a due good) intrinsically, or with respect to its intrinsic value.
It is also clearly going too far to say no one can receives grace from a Novus Ordo. The grace is diminished, but as long as the Mass is valid it still flow, to a greater or lesser degree, depending on how it's celebrated. And what about those who receive communion at the Novus Ordo? That is a separate source of grace, and there's no doubt that anyone who receives communion well disposed, receives grace from It.
I agree with 99% of this.
My only point of departure is that I would say the NOM is not only extrinsically evil (e.g., for the reasons you mention), but also intrinsically evil
in the scholastic philosophical sense, because a rite of Mass lacking an offertory or any mention of a sacrifice is by that very fact suffering a privation of something natural to its nature.
This does not impede validity, all other things considered, but it does present a danger to the faith by omission.
This, at least, is the traditional position of the SSPX apologists against the new Mass, and makes sense to me.
A one-legged man, or a two-legged chair, is intrinsically evil in the philosophical sense, but not in any kind of moral sense.
And I agree with you on the transmission of grace as well (and with +Lefebvre).
Like Archbishop Lefebvre (or Bishop Williamson), I would ask my antagonists, would you really tell a 90 year-old lady who lives next door to a conservative NO church, with no access to (or even awareness of) a TLM, that she must stay home? +Lefebvre wouldn't.
But Hewko/Pfeiffer/Pax would.