Do you have the availability of an Eastern Catholic Divine Liturgy in your area?
There is one Greek Catholic Church an hour and a half drive away, to which I went once. They were nearly as bad as the n.o. The only thing they didn't have was dancing altar girls. The congregation was small, seemingly all related, not at all welcoming of a non-Greek visitor. The young adults were dressed horribly--shorts, tank tops, spandex, tattoos--awful. It was small enough for a visitor to be noticed by everyone. The priest socialized with his congregants after the Mass and never introduced himself to me. So I introduced myself and was barely acknowledged. Then he went right back to his conversation. Everyone else totally ignored me. Given the distance and chilly reception, I don't consider it an option. It seems to be for and by the members of a small, insular ethnic group. I couldn't even find a Web site or any actual information about it, so I believe they might actually be schismatic. There was no church bulletin, but that's not unusual for tiny congregations. Attendance was about 30.
There are a few Greek Orthodox churches in the area, but they're definitely schismatic.
Believe me, I've looked thoroughly and have come up with nothing. The seven Masses were all in August, mostly 2016, when I had a two week working vacation 900 miles from my home.
I can neither move in my current situation, nor host a priest. I did attempt the latter, but found only one person willing to attend so long as I kept quiet about it. Neither of us have a suitable home for a Mass, and we're both living hand to mouth.
It seems since God has allowed the situation, it must be He wants me to offer it up, maybe in reparation for my pre-conversion sins.