Hmm. Your actions and thoughts sound somewhat familiar to myself.
Shortly after my conversion from a wicked life, I ran in to the Dimond brothers material. That began my obsession with end times prophecy and private revelations in addition to fostering the vice of scrupulosity. I have felt that I was going to lose my mind on several occasions, the last being between January and March of this year. It seems you have an obsessive compulsive disorder, as I do.
My recommendation to you would be to STOP reading and researching private revelations and interpretations concerning the End Times and Coming of Christ, Fewness of the Saved. These topics can studied by people with a stable mind. You do not have a stable mind and you must realize that.
The best way to banish your servile fear is to frequently meditate on the mercy of God. Find meditations on the Passion of Christ from traditional authors (I can link you to some). Read spiritual authors such as St. Francis de Sales, Louis of Blois, Father St. Jure and Pierre Claude de la Colombiere and some of St. Alphonsus’ works. I can not stress the importance of mental prayer enough. Prayer is the key to salvation. You must pray.
I don’t know what your beliefs are (Indult, SSPX, Resistance, Sede), but of course, I recommend contacting a valid, Catholic sedevacantist priest and telling him your struggles. You must obey what he tells you, despite all your fears and tormenting anxieties and doubts. I can promise you that if you begin to a obey him you will find relief. And of course, you must receive the Blessed Sacrament, frequently.
I know what you are going through in your mind. It is truly a cross to bear. You will be in my prayers.