I would love to be married and have a family. It just doesn't seem to be a realistic possibility so I don't focus on it. Focusing on finding and making buddy level friends is nearly impossible in and of itself so hoping to make deep and meaningful friendships or the absolute best option, a holy and Catholic spouse seem just as realistic as hoping to win the lottery.
My autism is a huge obstacle when it comes to anything social. My brain is wires backwards for lack of a better term. Most people get to know people by just talking to them. They can be with a group of complete strangers and just start talking to them because it is the act of the conversation itself that is important.
I need to be able to get to know someone through repeated interactions with them to learn if they're someone I can have a conversation with. Put me in a room with a bunch of strangers and I'm lost. I don't have any reason to talk to one person over another person and since I don't know them, I have no idea what they would be interested in talking about. It's hard for me to stress how important this is, but when I talk to someone I don't know, the topic of the discussion is the most important thing. Obviously if the person is someone I do know and care about on some level, things are different as I actually do care about that person and want to know more about them.
I'm also very purposeful. Everything I do has a purpose, even if it's something as simple as relieving boredom. I generally can't think of a reason to leave my house by myself so I just stay home. I know I won't meet anyone at my house, but if I can't think of anything to go do by myself, I'm at a dead end.
I used to joke about finding the wonderful and seemingly mythical place known only as "Out There". I can't count the number of times I've heard, "You just need to get out there." I never could get a specific location or time from them. 😉
The problem is you. It's been over a year since you initiated this thread. You're subtly blaming God for not giving you friends but you're really the problem. Sounds like you need a good beatin'. Knock that autism out of ya. Join a boxing gym and spar. You need to be tested in other ways than you've hitherto experienced. It'll give you some new outlook on life and, perhaps, alter your discriminatory and approbation processes on establishing friendships. You might even make friends at the boxing gym.
Topic: Suffering from loneliness (Read 152796 times)