Author Topic: Suffering from loneliness (Read 153508 times)

Bataar · « **Reply #120 on:** January 22, 2024, 11:59:03 AM »

Quote from: moneil on January 22, 2024, 11:18:30 AM

Don't allow the seasons to be a deterrent, or maybe someday you can move to a warm climate. Winter walks can be brisk and refreshing, as well as walks in gentle rain. As I worked outside with cattle I never took up winter sports (I worked in the snow and cold, I don't need to go play in it), but many find winter activities as fun as summer ones. There are great clothing, camping, and other gear options for winter. I live in eastern WA and looked up sunrise and sunset here for December 20 (shortest daylight of the year) and there was still a solid 8 hours + of daylight.

I'm in north Idaho and it's pretty much dark at 5:00. It used to be 4:30, but it is getting later to about 5. The other problem for me is that I'm 6'6" tall with a high inseem and size 15 or 16 feet. Finding warm enough winter clothes large enough to fit me is not an easy or affordable task. I was looking for a warm suit to do ice fishing and the cost of that threw me off.

OABrownson1876 · « **Reply #121 on:** January 22, 2024, 04:12:06 PM »

I knew a guy in AA, we will call him Jim. The doctors told him, "Jim, you have Lou Gehrig's Disease, you have at best two years to live. Go home have fun with your family, but plan your funeral." He called up his sponsor in AA, and his sponsor told him, "Gosh Jim, you are wallowing in self pity, we all gotta die. Why don't you go down to the children's hospital and see some people who have real problems." So he did that for three years and absolutely enjoyed it; it made him get out of himself. Then the doctors called him in one day and said, "Jim, we have great news, me misdiagnosed you, you do not have Gehrig's. You are just having some reaction to chemicals that you worked around when you worked for Dow."

Jim was resentful and thought about suing the doctors at the hospital. Once again, his sponsor told him, "Jim, are you crazy? You are going to sue ten doctors because they misdiagnosed you?" Jim is still alive today. The point of the story is that Jim wallowed in self-pity, "poor me, poor me, pour me a drink." It can happen to any of us. Of course, if you are fifty and lonely, you can always marry a twenty-year-old, and then several years later say, "what the hell was I thinking?" HeHe

Simeon · « **Reply #122 on:** January 22, 2024, 07:11:31 PM »

Quote from: Bataar on January 22, 2024, 10:11:46 AM

This is what's really hard for me. Due to my autism (high functioning) it's really hard to come up with things to do that I don't find inherently interesting on their own, especially things I can do by myself. Board gaming is a huge interest, hobby and passion of mine, for example, but it's not something I can go do by myself. I do read books and listen to music at my house as well as play some video games. I'm not a huge fan of concerts. My home speaker system can reproduce sound much better than the speaker system at a hall or theater so music sounds better at home and since I'm not going to meet the performers anyway, paying to go listen to music that will sound inferior doesn't seem like a good idea. I do like movies and go to them occasionally, however, in recent years, most movies are trash and I wouldn't want to pay to see them as a matter of principle.

When the weather is nicer, I do go to parks and places to walk my dogs, but in the winter, it's generally too cold and dark too early to do this. Not super interested in people watching, but I do like to get out. I do go out to dinner on occasion as well. The problem for me is that in order to make friends, I need to be able to repeatedly interact with them to get to know them before anything else. It's hard to explain, but I pretty much need to be able to learn about them, learn what common interests we have in order to learn if they're someone I want to engage with further.

I have some questions for you. Do you consider yourself someone who requires a good deal of sensory stimulation - flashing lights, loud noises, colors, cascades of images? Secondly, does intense external sensory stimulation calm you down inside? Thirdly, if you are not getting enough sensory stimulation, do you feel anxious inside? Fourthly, do you have trouble concentrating on reading if there is no music on?

Vanguard · « **Reply #123 on:** January 22, 2024, 08:58:50 PM »

You can try to learn a new language, or acquire a new skill like drawing, writing, or playing an instrument. There also might be online classes you can take.

Bataar · « **Reply #124 on:** January 25, 2024, 02:45:06 AM »

Quote from: Simeon on January 22, 2024, 07:11:31 PM

I have some questions for you. Do you consider yourself someone who requires a good deal of sensory stimulation - flashing lights, loud noises, colors, cascades of images? Secondly, does intense external sensory stimulation calm you down inside? Thirdly, if you are not getting enough sensory stimulation, do you feel anxious inside? Fourthly, do you have trouble concentrating on reading if there is no music on?

You know what? I honestly don't know. I am a very visual person. I'd rather watch TV or a movie than read a book usually because I'd rather visually see what's going on than imagine it myself. That's not to say I don't do it, but it's just a preference. I'm not a huge fan of "obnoxious" things like flashing lights or loud noises just for the sake of it. When it comes to reading with music on, I'll have to try that sometime to compare. If what I'm reading is something I find genuinely interesting of its own merit, I can read it easily and the information sticks. I can almost recite it verbatim. If, however, what I'm reading is something I don't find super interesting, I have to really, really focus on it and often re-read it a few times to hopeflly get the information to stick so I can recall it.

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Author Topic: Suffering from loneliness (Read 153508 times)

Bataar

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OABrownson1876

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Simeon

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Vanguard

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Bataar

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