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Author Topic: Suffering from loneliness  (Read 132793 times)

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Offline Simeon

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Re: Suffering from loneliness
« Reply #90 on: September 08, 2023, 04:05:22 AM »
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  • Consolations and dis-consolations go hand in hand, the gate is strait and the way narrow.

    :pray: Carrying our Cross isn't always easy, I try to find the Lords' sweetness even in the dis-consolations.

    - For my yoke is sweet and my burden light.
    - If so be you have tasted that the Lord is sweet.
    - The Lord is sweet and righteous: therefore he will give a law to sinners in the way.
    - O taste, and see that the Lord is sweet: blessed is the man that hopeth in him.
    - For the Lord is sweet, his mercy endureth for ever, and his truth to generation and generation.
    - The Lord is sweet to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works.
    - Praise ye the Lord, for the Lord is good: sing ye to his name, for it is sweet.
    - But thou, O Lord, do with me for thy name's sake: because thy mercy is sweet. Do thou deliver me,
    - O how good and sweet is thy spirit, O Lord, in all things!

    Beautiful, Anthony!

    Bataar, come here and talk more. No need to embroil yourself in theological arguments. Just come and talk. Friendship is spiritual. It does not always require face to face interaction. 

    Offline AMDGJMJ

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #91 on: September 08, 2023, 05:31:10 AM »
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  • Kind of had to chuckle and grimace simultaneously today. During confession, the priest told me I need to spend more time with good, Catholic friends. I definitely wish I could, but I feel that I've had hermitage forced on me.
    Our priest gave a beautiful sermon this past Sunday.  During it he explained how the advice of priests in Confession are often God speaking through the priest.

    Perhaps you could take this as a sign that God actually does not want you to be lonely but wants you to put more effort into making some good solid traditional Catholic friends.  

    I know that the CMRI has their Fatima Conference every year in August.   Maybe some sort of event like that would help you?  Or maybe ask the priest at your chapel if there is some sort of event you can help host or charitable service you can help with at your church.  These things often give a chance and opportunity for people to meet others.
    "Jesus, Meek and Humble of Heart, make my heart like unto Thine!"

    http://whoshallfindavaliantwoman.blogspot.com/


    Offline xavierpope

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #92 on: September 11, 2023, 11:08:12 AM »
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  • Hello, I'm also a fellow high functioning autistic 

    I know the pains of meeting people and I've suffered a lot of rejection in my life due to my oddness.

    I do her a family but not many friends
     I use meetup ( a friendship app) and attend a quiz night in my area every few weeks.

    I feel less lonely by going to these and you don't have to make conversation the whole time 

    Offline moneil

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #93 on: September 11, 2023, 07:26:31 PM »
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  • I'd love to hear more this.  Can you share with us your experiences with working a second job to help the poor?  Do you just pay their bills for them or give them cash?  Not sure how to go about it so would love to hear how you are managing it.  Do you write it off on your taxes and if so how to you do that?  Do you get receipts from the poor people?  Thanks.

    First I’ll say that there is nothing necessarily wrong with “stacking coin” and having hobbies.  We all have different “emotions and personalities”, as well as abilities, resources, and talents, it’s how we use those gifts that count.  The fabric arts (sewing, quilting, knitting, weaving) and gardening are hobbies (I don’t know what yours are) and many with these hobbies donate the fruits of their efforts to others in need.  You’re updating a house and that effort may make for a more useful home for a future family who will live there.

    It is generally best to give charitable assistance through an organization that knows what they are doing rather than giving cash directly to someone, though exceptions are made if one knows the individual.  When one encounters someone asking for help one can refer them to these organizations.  To this end it is good to be familiar with the resources in your location and how to contact them.

    If one doesn’t have a particular connection, parish conferences of the St. Vincent DePaul Society always need volunteers, and also cash donations.  Catholic Charities (I’ve seen NO evidence that they support abortion in any way, contrary to erroneous information I’ve seen posted here) have Volunteer Chore Services and Senior Companions programs, which help the elderly stay independent and remain in their homes.  Meals-On-Wheels is another program which provides seniors both good nutrition and an ability to stay in their homes.  They ALWAYS need volunteers, as well as financial assistance.  Many Knights of Columbus Councils have a program where they receive donated medical equipment (wheel chairs, walkers, hospital beds, etc.), fix it up if needed, and then provide it to others who need it at no cost.  The only thing they ask is that it be donated back when no longer needed.  Our local community will host the Washington Special Olympics fall games and local KC Councils will be very involved – direct pro life action.

    I appreciate and understand that many here, if not most, may not be comfortable engaging with charitable organizations that are associated with the “councilor church”.  However, these apostolates have been around since the 19th and even 18th century and have a wealth of knowledge and experience.  One can glean that knowledge to establish similar apostolates at traditionalist chapels.

    Offline Bataar

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #94 on: October 25, 2023, 11:53:11 PM »
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  • Our priest gave a beautiful sermon this past Sunday.  During it he explained how the advice of priests in Confession are often God speaking through the priest.

    Perhaps you could take this as a sign that God actually does not want you to be lonely but wants you to put more effort into making some good solid traditional Catholic friends. 

    I know that the CMRI has their Fatima Conference every year in August.  Maybe some sort of event like that would help you?  Or maybe ask the priest at your chapel if there is some sort of event you can help host or charitable service you can help with at your church.  These things often give a chance and opportunity for people to meet others.
    Events like that are good and everything, in and of themselves, but they're not good for me for the purpose of meeting people. Due to my weird brain, I need to be able to interact with people over some time to determine if they're someone I want to get to know more or talk to. I know I'm weird that way. For some reason, I hate doing small talk with people I don't know. People will suggest asking someone about their job or my mom used to suggest asking how long they've been a member of the churhc. I remember being almost shocked at those kinds of suggestions because why would I want to know that? How will that specific information be useful or relevant? I know, I know, I'm weird in that way, but that's how my brain works. I need to be able to get to know the person first so when I ask them a question like that, it's because I actually care about that person and have a specific interest in them. Odds are at an event like the Fatima Conference, I wouldn't have a chance to do anything like that first so conversation wouldn't really work for me. 

    I've tried to start a montly board game night at my church that's open to nearly everyone, but the priests weren't too interested so that was dropped. While being able to develop a relationship with a traditional Catholic woman would be ideal, making friends with traditional Catholic men would be nice too. The problem is that at my age, the vast majority of them are married and don't have time for single friends.


    Offline St Giles

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #95 on: October 26, 2023, 09:31:27 AM »
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  • I understand 100%, perhaps better than you explained it, because I'm the same way. 

    I think people like us are more likely to see the current problem because we are most affected by it. The church should be a society helping each other become saints, distributing what is needed according to our means, and giving others our time as charitable works, especially to those most in need of it, whether for comfort and friendship or help with work and cleaning.

    It seems like most people get complacent with keeping to their own family. Perhaps most people are more Sunday only Catholics than they realize.

    Whatever is wrong, maybe you can travel around trying to bring awareness to the problem, and be to others what you want others to be to you. 
    "Be you therefore perfect, as also your heavenly Father is perfect."
    "Seek first the kingdom of Heaven..."
    "Every idle word that men shall speak, they shall render an account for it in the day of judgment"

    Offline St Giles

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #96 on: October 27, 2023, 07:04:03 AM »
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  • Events like that are good and everything, in and of themselves, but they're not good for me for the purpose of meeting people. Due to my weird brain, I need to be able to interact with people over some time to determine if they're someone I want to get to know more or talk to. I know I'm weird that way. For some reason, I hate doing small talk with people I don't know. People will suggest asking someone about their job or my mom used to suggest asking how long they've been a member of the churhc. I remember being almost shocked at those kinds of suggestions because why would I want to know that? How will that specific information be useful or relevant? I know, I know, I'm weird in that way, but that's how my brain works. I need to be able to get to know the person first so when I ask them a question like that, it's because I actually care about that person and have a specific interest in them. Odds are at an event like the Fatima Conference, I wouldn't have a chance to do anything like that first so conversation wouldn't really work for me.

    I've tried to start a montly board game night at my church that's open to nearly everyone, but the priests weren't too interested so that was dropped. While being able to develop a relationship with a traditional Catholic woman would be ideal, making friends with traditional Catholic men would be nice too. The problem is that at my age, the vast majority of them are married and don't have time for single friends.
    How are you today? What's the plan for the day? I'm going to pray a fervent decade of the Rosary for you, I hope you pray one for me too.
    "Be you therefore perfect, as also your heavenly Father is perfect."
    "Seek first the kingdom of Heaven..."
    "Every idle word that men shall speak, they shall render an account for it in the day of judgment"

    Offline Bataar

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #97 on: October 27, 2023, 10:56:39 AM »
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  • How are you today? What's the plan for the day? I'm going to pray a fervent decade of the Rosary for you, I hope you pray one for me too.
    I'm doing alright today. No big plans for the weekend. I'll be going to confession tonight and tomorrow getting my winter tires put on my car, but that's about all I have planned. For the last few weeks, and back through the summer, I'd usually go fishing after work, but now the weather has changed and fishing is pretty much done until April.


    Offline St Giles

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #98 on: October 27, 2023, 06:47:12 PM »
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  • Confession on Friday? Do you have daily mass? My kind of fishing is just floating around in the middle of the night. I have a cheap battery powered diesel heater I could put on the kayak in the middle of winter. I just got a load of firewood stacked by the door, mostly 6-10" thick chunks for long slow burns. I tried to keep in mind our Lord while carrying wood on Friday with no friends and no help.
    "Be you therefore perfect, as also your heavenly Father is perfect."
    "Seek first the kingdom of Heaven..."
    "Every idle word that men shall speak, they shall render an account for it in the day of judgment"

    Offline Grace

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #99 on: November 21, 2023, 06:16:07 PM »
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  • How are you today? What's the plan for the day? I'm going to pray a fervent decade of the Rosary for you, I hope you pray one for me too.
    To St. Giles, Bataar, EWPJ, & Xavier Pope :pray:

    Offline St Giles

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #100 on: November 21, 2023, 06:18:04 PM »
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  • We are social beings. We all should do our part to get out there and socialize/interact with other Catholics to whatever extent will help us get to heaven. We might think we don't need it. We might think others don't need it, but I think the benefit to all aspects of people's lives can be huge.
    "Be you therefore perfect, as also your heavenly Father is perfect."
    "Seek first the kingdom of Heaven..."
    "Every idle word that men shall speak, they shall render an account for it in the day of judgment"


    Offline Grace

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #101 on: November 21, 2023, 06:42:55 PM »
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  •  there can be a constant loneliness in the background (think: parents with zero Trad Catholic friends to socialize with, confide in, etc.) Think of all the families who can only get to a Trad Mass once a month or less, and even then, there aren't any adults their age to be close to or socialize with. Or no Trads to see/visit within a 1 hour radius or more.



    May God grant you His grace and consolations. :pray:
    Thank you Matthew & family for Cathinfo and the way that it connects us together

    Offline Bataar

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #102 on: December 01, 2023, 01:08:17 PM »
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  • We are social beings. We all should do our part to get out there and socialize/interact with other Catholics to whatever extent will help us get to heaven. We might think we don't need it. We might think others don't need it, but I think the benefit to all aspects of people's lives can be huge.
    Unfortunately, I'm not finding a way to meet other Catholics. My autism (high functioning) definitely inhibits my social skills, but there just aren't any events to interact with others. My church doesn't even do coffee and donuts after Mass because they need everyone to leave ASAP so the parking spots can be available for people coming to the next Mass.

    Offline St Giles

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #103 on: December 01, 2023, 02:32:03 PM »
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  • Unfortunately, I'm not finding a way to meet other Catholics. My autism (high functioning) definitely inhibits my social skills, but there just aren't any events to interact with others. My church doesn't even do coffee and donuts after Mass because they need everyone to leave ASAP so the parking spots can be available for people coming to the next Mass.
    It's a similar situation where I'm at, though we still manage coffee & donuts somehow. After the last mass some people hang around for a good hour. 
    We need to find a solution. Whoever lives closest should make a habit of inviting people to hang out there, by announcement from the pulpit. I'm about to write to a priest I know to see what he thinks. We had a priest who would try to organize an occasional group outing or Catholic game night, though I think he didn't come anywhere near using the fullness of his persuasive skills. There were a few such events, but a decade ago.
    "Be you therefore perfect, as also your heavenly Father is perfect."
    "Seek first the kingdom of Heaven..."
    "Every idle word that men shall speak, they shall render an account for it in the day of judgment"

    Online Gray2023

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #104 on: December 01, 2023, 03:24:28 PM »
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  • :pray::pray::pray: For all.
    1 Corinthians: Chapter 13 "4 Charity is patient, is kind: charity envieth not, dealeth not perversely; is not puffed up; 5 Is not ambitious, seeketh not her own, is not provoked to anger, thinketh no evil;"