I don’t smoke and I don’t have kids. By the time we were born, my father had quit smoking. Mom never smoked. Like me, she’d tried it a few times in high school and didn’t like it. Dad smoked from age 15 to about 21. My grandfather had been told by a doctor to quit or his lungs would quit on him. He had asthma.
Several of my aunts and uncles smoked, yes, in front of we kids, but we’re talking in the 1950’s, 1960’s, 1970’s, 1980’s. Another uncle smoked a cherry tobacco pipe every Sunday afternoon. Lots of my friends’ parents smoked; so did my teachers. My high school had two student smoking areas outside with an overhead. Teachers had an indoor and outdoor smoking lounge. I recall an older priest whose name I don’t recall being a nervous man, a chain smoker. He’d stand outside a side door and smoke one cigarette after another before Mass. There was always a pile of butt ends on the ground where he stood. He smelled like cigarettes, too.
Unless someone had a particular aversion to it, smoking was ubiquitous in those days, so smoking in front of children was no big deal. It was the same thing with drinking. Giving one’s kids a taste of Daddy’s beer or Mommy’s daiquiri, was routine. It WAS clear, however, that smoking and drinking were for adults, not children. I remember hearing that it wasn’t good for us because our bodies were still growing. Once someone was an adult, it wasn’t harmful if done in moderation. I never saw my parents or adult relatives sick or intoxicated.
My sister smoked throughout high school (outside on the porch), and until she got pregnant in 1998. Being a high risk pregnancy due to her age, she was strongly advised to quit. She went back to it briefly due to job stress and having to place the baby in daycare. Her husband got laid off and the two jobs he worked still didn’t make ends meet, so she had no choice but to go to work. When she found herself pregnant with another extremely high risk baby, she quit again and never went back.
I don’t think parents should expose children to second hand smoke. It’s unhealthy and can cause sinus, glue ear, respiratory problems in children. To me, it’s selfish. Parents should not choose their own pleasures at the expense of their children’s health. So far as merely seeing adults smoke, I’m okay with that, but I won’t encourage a child to take up the habit. Many people who smoke are addicted to the nicotine and I will point that out to children. I feel about the same when drinking alcohol. I don’t want a child to see someone intoxicated, but seeing an adult having a beer at a barbecue isn’t going to make most children into alcoholics.I know people who feel differently and I don’t blame them. People who have lost loved ones to smoking and alcohol often prevent their young children from even seeing adults indulge. A friend raised her children this way because of grandparents whose drinking or smoking resulted in tragedy. I don’t blame parents at all for adopting a substance free life. A friend told me, “I can’t prevent my 22 year old from smoking, drinking, or any other unhealthy habit, but I can truthfully say to them if they choose to indulge, “You didn’t learn that in our house.” They cannot point the finger and say, “Mom or Dad drank, smoked….did drugs, was promiscuous, etc..!