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Offline Petertherock

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Anger management
« on: April 05, 2014, 08:52:03 PM »
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  • I am finally getting help with my anger through anger management classes. I really like the guy I am seeing. He made me understand why I have these issues, and more important some things I can do to help with these issues.

    Basically, when you are subjected to any kind of stress for a long period of time such as a soldier in battle, or any other kind of stress that lasts for a long period of time your brain changes. Your brain produces hormones called glucocorticoids. Our system also tightens up and we get into what is called the fight/flight/or shock mode. Our heart rate increases and neurons in the frontal cortex are killed making rational thought impossible.

    Think of your body's reaction to stress as a heart monitor...only difference is in this case...flat lining is what you want. A flat line means you are at a calm peaceful state, which is where you want to be. Now a "normal" person is introduced to stress, the line goes up a little bit and will adjust and the line will look more like a small bump. But, when the person who has had large amounts of uncontrolled stress meets with stress the flat line becomes a spike and the top of the spike is where you explode.

    So what you want to do...let's say you have to work with Bob tomorrow. Now Bob is a total A-hole and you hate working with him. Just the thought of having to work with him makes you ticked off. The first thing you want to do before you have to work with Bob is the night before you want to begin breathing deeply and slowly. What this does is it actually stops your brain from making the glucocorticoids and keeps you calmed and "flat lined."

    Now, this isn't going to work all the time so what you need is a relief valve if you start spiking. You want to stop that spike before you blow...so your pressure relief valve is something like taking a walk, working out, or doing something to work out the aggression before you explode.

    Obviously it's not something that's going to work overnight. But it's a starting point and something I can work on.


    Offline Marlelar

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    Anger management
    « Reply #1 on: April 06, 2014, 12:41:47 AM »
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  • Good for you for being pro-active.  Too many people think they cannot change habits they have had for a long time.

    Marsha


    Offline Petertherock

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    Anger management
    « Reply #2 on: April 06, 2014, 03:23:06 PM »
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  • My priest told me to stick with the anger management classes because he thinks it will really help. He said even if I don't feel like continuing with it to do it for the other people in my life if not for myself.


    Offline Stella

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    Anger management
    « Reply #3 on: April 06, 2014, 04:09:09 PM »
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  • And pray for Bob. It is doubtful you will learn this in the anger management class, but we are mandated by Our Lord to pray for our enemies. Ask God to give Bob all the graces he needs to save his soul, and that God will make him happy in this life and the next.

    And if you can't bring yourself to do that, then ask Our Lady to do it for you.

    Glad the classes are helping, but we need to look at it not just psychologically but also theologically.

    I'll punch you if you don't agree with me.

    "We must dig deeply in Christ. He is like a rich mine with many pockets containing treasures: however deep we dig we will never find their end or their limit. Indeed, in every pocket new seams of fresh riches are discovered on all sides." St. John of the Cross

    Offline Cantarella

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    Anger management
    « Reply #4 on: April 06, 2014, 04:25:54 PM »
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  • Every time I get angry,  I say a Hail Mary. That always helps me recover my coolness.

    Every time I am sad or my heart is troubled, I also say a Hail Mary. Then I have a moment of recollection. It always help me regain composture.

    I honestly think that nothing is better than praying the Rosary when one gets into those moods.
    If anyone says that true and natural water is not necessary for baptism and thus twists into some metaphor the words of our Lord Jesus Christ" Unless a man be born again of water and the Holy Spirit" (Jn 3:5) let him be anathema.


    Offline Anthony Benedict

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    Anger management
    « Reply #5 on: April 06, 2014, 11:51:22 PM »
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  • I am happy to say I know Petertherock through another forum and have enjoyed conversing with him for several years. He's got a heart of gold and terrific instincts. He's also had much thrown at him that would have turned lesser men into jello and he's never given up.

    I'm proud of him and proud to call myself his friend.

    And I'm also proud to see good folks here showing him their encouragement.

    Now, if I could only convince him to see the wisdom of becoming a NY Yankees fan...  :smirk:

    Offline Petertherock

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    Anger management
    « Reply #6 on: April 07, 2014, 12:29:15 AM »
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  • Quote from: Anthony Benedict
    I am happy to say I know Petertherock through another forum and have enjoyed conversing with him for several years. He's got a heart of gold and terrific instincts. He's also had much thrown at him that would have turned lesser men into jello and he's never given up.

    I'm proud of him and proud to call myself his friend.

    And I'm also proud to see good folks here showing him their encouragement.

    Now, if I could only convince him to see the wisdom of becoming a NY Yankees fan...  :smirk:


    The Yankees fan thing is never going to happen...that's why the Yankees are called the evil empire!

    But thank you for the rest of your post. Now to make sure I don't get puffed up with pride!

    Offline MariaCatherine

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    Anger management
    « Reply #7 on: April 07, 2014, 10:21:55 AM »
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  • I think there can be great value in anger management, combined with a healthy spiritual life. It doesn't have to be one or the other. As long as we don't trust the anger management techniques more than the Church teachings, I think we're fine.
    What return shall I make to the Lord for all the things that He hath given unto me?


    Offline claudel

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    Anger management
    « Reply #8 on: April 08, 2014, 07:46:13 PM »
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  • Quote from: Anthony Benedict
    Now, if I could only convince him to see the wisdom of becoming a NY Yankees fan.


    Vade retro, spawn of Satan—and take those damn pinstripes with you!

    Offline PerEvangelicaDicta

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    Anger management
    « Reply #9 on: April 08, 2014, 11:59:51 PM »
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  • PtR, I'm relieved that your instruction is objective (bodily reaction to stress) vs.  the more common court mandated or corporate kind - which is anti-male, feminist and eastern philosophy drivel.  

    AB's commentary is sincere testimony of your Christian nature.  Bravo, and prayers.

    Offline poche

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    Anger management
    « Reply #10 on: April 09, 2014, 12:13:31 AM »
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  • Quote from: Petertherock
    I am finally getting help with my anger through anger management classes. I really like the guy I am seeing. He made me understand why I have these issues, and more important some things I can do to help with these issues.

    Basically, when you are subjected to any kind of stress for a long period of time such as a soldier in battle, or any other kind of stress that lasts for a long period of time your brain changes. Your brain produces hormones called glucocorticoids. Our system also tightens up and we get into what is called the fight/flight/or shock mode. Our heart rate increases and neurons in the frontal cortex are killed making rational thought impossible.

    Think of your body's reaction to stress as a heart monitor...only difference is in this case...flat lining is what you want. A flat line means you are at a calm peaceful state, which is where you want to be. Now a "normal" person is introduced to stress, the line goes up a little bit and will adjust and the line will look more like a small bump. But, when the person who has had large amounts of uncontrolled stress meets with stress the flat line becomes a spike and the top of the spike is where you explode.

    So what you want to do...let's say you have to work with Bob tomorrow. Now Bob is a total A-hole and you hate working with him. Just the thought of having to work with him makes you ticked off. The first thing you want to do before you have to work with Bob is the night before you want to begin breathing deeply and slowly. What this does is it actually stops your brain from making the glucocorticoids and keeps you calmed and "flat lined."

    Now, this isn't going to work all the time so what you need is a relief valve if you start spiking. You want to stop that spike before you blow...so your pressure relief valve is something like taking a walk, working out, or doing something to work out the aggression before you explode.

    Obviously it's not something that's going to work overnight. But it's a starting point and something I can work on.


    When I have to work with difficult people, I try to remember that they are redeemed by Christ.  


     

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