My dear, Belloc, I care about you and this subject. You are bleeding all over the place and I don't blame you, but I would relieve you. I started this thread because I had something to say and I wanted to say it to you especially.
You keep thinking things about me that aren't true. I've been down this road for over 20 years and I have struggled with many of the things you struggle with. I, too, have been bitter about these things.
Today I am disabled and a lot of my health issues stem from my upset over these things. So, yes, I have all day. I told my husband I don't want to hear of another thing that is wrong with me and I told my doctor I don't want to spend my last days jumping through hoops to stay alive. I want to live till I die. So now they leave me in peace.
I'm serious, Belloc, we are the last defense---us old crocks who still believe in goodness. And you are one of us, or you wouldn't get so upset. What are you trying to accomplish, anyway?