I hope to become a better husband to and for my wife. 
All responses welcome, but I would especially appreciate seeing what the women have to say, especially wives. 

I hope to become a better husband to and for my wife.
All responses welcome, but I would especially appreciate seeing what the women have to say, especially wives.

I suspect that women are not the best source of information on this topic.  Women can tell you what we like but what we like is not always what is best for us.  A husband and father needs to do what is best for his family, but his family will not always like it at the time.  There have been many times when letting me have my own way would not have been good for me or the family.  Being a good husband sometimes means saying no.

I suggest you look to older men who have been married for a long time for advice.  A man whose grown children are still practicing the Catholic faith is likely to be someone who knows what he is talking about.

What are good traits in a husband?

Vintagewife, your reply to the thread about wives is the spark that got me to post this. Could you maybe expand on your reply in this thread?  

I guess I’m trying to start a thread to satisfy your other thread response. 

Like I said it depends for each marriage. I will always believe a woman’s place is in the home, and under the protection of her husband. But I’m also in the minority here by believing he, and I are equals. Yes, he makes the money, gets final say, but I also get a say in that too. I tell he when he’s being unfair, and to strick on anything. He doesnt own me. That doesn’t mean I pout when it doesn’t go my way... my job is to support him too!

Husbands need to be their wives support systems too. It’s isn’t easy being a stay at home mom, and wife. I’d say it’s the job that takes the longest to see rewards. Husbands job are not always rewarding, but they show more progress then cleaning house/raising kids. That takes a toll on you. This also doesn’t pertain to all women.

Husband said shouldn’t be to strick with the budget, and they should both sit down to set one up. He should take into account date night, and time for his wife to go do something for herself too. It’s important he finds that for himself! 

Husbands should watch how they assert their authority. The authority they have is given to them by God, and if you mis-use it you’ll answer to Him. You shouldn’t be verbally, emotionally, or physically abusive to get your way. If you have to say mean things, or hurt your wife to get her to do things your way. Then you really need to check your self. If she’s doens’t agree with you on something then ask her why, and talk about it. When she brings up a different point of view that doesn’t mean she is challenging your authority.


Husbands should also remember the kids are a joint responsibility. They means feeding, cleaning, and caring. If you see your wife struggling don’t just look on, but jump in to help! It’s always appreciated.

Husbands should be responsive to wife’s intimate needs as well. Some times marriages can be one sided in this. Where one spouse doesn’t recognized the spouses needs as equal to theirs. So, the turn them down because they aren’t in the mood. Wives need to watch this too. Sometimes the perfect way to unwind from a stressful day is to be intimate with your spouse. It helps reunite you in unity.

Most importantly, and above all else husbands need to be the leaders in the family’s spiritual life. We live in a time of spiritual ware fare, and every army needs a leader. Learn your faith, go to church, pray the family rosary, and bible study. 

But I’m also in the minority here by believing he, and I are equals. Yes, he makes the money, gets final say, but I also get a say in that too. I tell he when he’s being unfair, and to strick on anything. He doesnt own me. That doesn’t mean I pout when it doesn’t go my way... my job is to support him too!

Equals in dignity, before God, certainly, but not equals in terms of order or authority.  Wives of course are entitled to respectfully express their disagreement about how finances are managed, but must defer in the end to the husband's final judgment.

Children should always been a joint task. Dad’s don’t get to come in, and lay down laws without being someone who helps take care of the kids. My husband has learned he can’t just go around telling them what to do without understanding their personalities, and quarks. He is a better dad because he takes half the responsibility. Probably one of the best dads I know.


If we have a hard decision to make neither one of us moves forward without complete agreement from the othe spouse. The spouse with the most doubt gets the most say because you can’t un do all choices. He doesn’t get to tell me if I have a say or not. I just do. The only thing I don’t question is money saving. If he’s being fair, and understanding then I have nothing to worry about. If he’s making a lot of pitches that don’t pertain to personal care, or the house I ask him about it. He does the same. That way we stay on the same page. I for sure don’t ever have to ask his permission before I buy, and neither does he. Because we talk and communicate. 

He doesn’t get to tell me if I have a say or not. 

He most certainly does.