Take shopping carts for the express purpose of
filling them and stranding them at strategic
locations.

Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute
intervals throughout the day.

Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading
to the restrooms.

Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official
tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in housewares,"
and see what happens.

Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn
them all off and turn the volumes to "10."

Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of
gift wrap.

Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch"
from the other aisles.

Put M&M's on layaway.

Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others
you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows
from Bed and Bath.

Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling
all the spray air fresheners.

Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in
Cosmetics.

When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and
ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

Look right into the security camera, and use it as a
mirror while you pick your nose.

Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full
scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

While handling guns in the hunting department,
suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti
depressants are.

Switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of
the restrooms.

Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme
from "Mission Impossible."

Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse
through, say things like "pick me!! pick me!!" and
scare them into believing that the clothes are
talking to them.

When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker,
assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's
those voices again!"

Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check
people out.

Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines
and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft
drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask
if they can put a little umbrella in it.

Go into the dressing room and yell real loud "Hey,
were out of toilet paper in here!"