There was a very lively thread on the topic of "troublemakers" and "infiltrators", and this important comment was made, which inspired this thread:

My solution is just to avoid all the non-liturgical events at the parish. I show up for Confession, Mass, Rosary whenever I can, but other than that, I'm just one of the people that slip in and out of the church that you never get a chance to talk with. Although I'd probably act differently if it was an SSPX chapel instead of an Indult.

So it appears that at least SOME of those anti-social, dive-out-the-window-after-Father-processes-out types are doing it for a defensive, even noble, reason.

I have often wondered (together with my spouse, who attended the Novus Ordo Mass in a small town before she met me) why there is not more of a parish life at our medium-sized SSPX chapel.

We had one lady, a converted Baptist, trying to stoke some kind of "involvement" by organizing a parish festival on the Feast of Christ the King. To put it nicely, it flopped. She had to do most of the work, and the turnout was pretty low.

It's like people want Sacrament vending machines -- a drive-thru Mass, if you will -- rather than a Catholic parish.

The question is WHY?

Is it because many trad Catholics are hypocrites to some extent, and they don't want their fellow-parishioners to discover the "worldly side" of their life -- which happens to be 99% of it?

Is it because Catholics are bred on mistrust in this age of Crisis? They don't know who to trust, etc.?

Is it because Catholics have high expectations for "Catholic" friends, so they don't have any (or many), while befriending dozens of worldlings, because "well, they're not Catholic so of course they're not going to be perfect..."

Is it because the priest should normally organize social activities, but they're spread too thin these days?

I'm just throwing out some ideas -- feel free to discuss.

Can a "Parish life", in the classic sense, even EXIST in a Crisis like we're in?

Matthew

Can life exist without trust?  Which is why I started my thread.  Mistrust really tears down your health among other things.  Parish life?  Don't see how it can with everyone running away from everyone.

At Mount St. Michael, we usually have a bake sale every Sunday after Mass, and each week its from one of the grades earning money for field trips or Senior graduation activities and everything in between.  

The bake sale usually brings people to the table to see what goodies they can find, the breakfast burritos are the favorite, everyone wants them.  

We also sell script, (grocery gift cards) and Father, every once in awhile gives a pitch about it, his best phrase so far is, "we know you the parishioners can't always fund every fund raiser, sooo here is an opportunity for you to purchase a gift card for groceries, that you are going to buy anyway and have the retail stores in our area support us."  Also since all the money we make at the script goes to keep our tuition down, recently it was necessary for each family that had children in the school to purchase $250.00 a month on script.  We have script from every store that offers script, from gas stations, Sees candy, resturants, and every other store under the sun.  

I will say that our parish is pretty sociable, with pot luck dinners several times a year, and a school auction once a year that many get involved with.  

I myself am always in a hurry to leave, because as I said before, I care for my 95 year old mother, who I can't leave her alone for hours on end.    

I may be more concerned about this than Matthew is, because I don't see it as just a danger to parish life, but to life itself.  

The gov't has been hosting a "narc on your neighbor" mentality for years now.  And children are encouraged to tell on their parents.  The bible speaks of these times where a man may not trust his wife even.  

It's really happening, and so much so, that one may not trust their church.  Of course you're going to start hanging out at home.  When you know the other shoe is going to fall and just don't know when, you start having stomach problems, headaches, etc.  I firmly believe that the loss of trust is more dangerous than anything else they can do to us.

Mount St. Michael is not affluent, most of the families have 8-10 children more or less.  With only one income coming in, and it took awhile before our script program took off.  

Father had to talk it up, posters were made, and tables set up where people had to walk past in order to leave.  Exposure!

Yes, everyone buys groceries, and all the grocery stores are involved in script, everyone buys gas, and the other retail stores are pitched at Christmas gift giving, birthday gift giving, etc. etc.  

Don't give up Matthew, it just takes time.  It takes people getting use to the idea.  

Matthew et al, I'll take a stab at this one, esp in hopes of understanding a solution.

Standards and confusion- if I had to sum it up with 2 words, this is what it would be.

It seems every Catholic family has different standards at this time in history, that it makes if very very difficult to find someone that has the same standards as any given family. Its almost too much. Let me make a list here of some things that cause divisions (just my opinion, fwiw)-

TV- some fams are completely against and dont even own one, some just watch movies, some watch regular tv, others watch cable.

Modesty- this includes views on jeans or pants or skirts, the definition of modesty (what does 'tight fitting' really mean?)

Technology- This runs the full gamut. Some fams the kids have a cell phone, they text, a facebook page, play online video games, are in chat rooms. You have in between fams, and then all the way down to zero use of this stuff by the kids.

Fashion- From Little House on the Prairie to blue nail polish and everywhere in between. Double and triple ear peircings, etc.

Outside influences on children- some fams have their kids in public schools, or playing sports with 'modern' kids, or playing with every kid up and down the block. Others are a bit pickier, and choose less friends, but a lot of times, they are not Catholic, but rather 'good Christian' people. Again, all the way down to the kids ONLY playing with other Trad kids in their parish.

The really weird part of it, is what each parent picks as important vs what they will slide on (and I dont think I am any different, but I live exhausted trying to find the right boundries). I have one friend that wont let her girls where jeans, only pants, absolutely no video games are allowed in the house, no internet use by the kids, but the kids go to public school. I have another that homeschools, is super strict about modesty, but her older daughter's best friend is an emo girl that 'just doesnt know if there really is a God". And another that has really instilled in her children not to date before 18 or ready for marriage, but the girls age 12 and up where painted on jeans. I could go on with every imaginable scenerio, but you get the picture.

I am somewhere in between on all of this. I guess Ill take a few hits, but that is ok. We have a tv, but just watch movies, docuмentaries. The girls wear jeans (I dont)-mostly because we ran a farm for almost 8 years, and milking cows can be immodest/dangerous in skirts. But the jeans have to be loose around the rear, 'saggy'. No cell phones, but we have a ps3 and the children play it here and there.

I guess all I can say, is, if there were more strict standards across the board in this day and age, it would be much easier to associate and network with 'like minded' folk. But, until that comes, it just seems like chaos.

Thank God, Jamie!  It proves it's not all hopeless and weird everywhere.

As far as socializing AT church (potlucks, family night, etc) the only things which work at our chapel are that which follows Mass on Sunday morning (and even that is questionable). Way too many of our parishioners live too far away to go more than once a week. Even mid-week Holy Days have very limited attendance.

I'm sure if there was a priory or school, more people would live nearby, but since people DON'T live nearby, there's no priory or school.   We don't live there because it's in the middle of a big city and we're country folk.  :farmer: