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Author Topic: The Catholic "Onion?"  (Read 891 times)

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Offline SeanJohnson

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The Catholic "Onion?"
« on: October 14, 2019, 08:17:22 PM »
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    • SSPX Sentences Priest To 1,000 Lashes For Smiling During Mass
    JULY 2, 2015 BY ADMIN  
    FILED UNDER LIBS & TRADS
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    Society of St. Pius X priest Fr. Donald Johnson has been sentenced to three years in prison and 1,000 lashes for allegedly smiling during the Mass two weeks ago.
    Johnson was arrested by SSPX officials in June during a Mass after being caught on video looking happy, SSPX officials reported. Johnson is scheduled to receive 50 lashes a week for 20 weeks.
    Officials stated that Johnson first came to the attention of SSPX bishops close to a year ago after a parishioner complained about comments Johnson made during a homily about love. Johnson was accused of saying that some people in the Church often only focus on their anger and God’s judgment, as opposed to the loving mercy of God.
    “This is a sad day for us all,” one SSPX bishop told EOTT as he practiced lashing a tree. “But the fact is that Fr. Johnson smiled during the Mass. Perhaps next time he tries smiling during Mass he’ll remember that Christ dying on the cross is no laughing matter.”
    The bishop went on to say that without the proper penance and jail time that the lash and bars were certain to administer to the priest, he would run the danger of continuing in his “sacrilegious ways.”
    “It’s a slippery slope, you know? One day your smiling during the Mass and talking about love like some sort of a clown, the next day your speaking in the vernacular and committing other mortal sins as well.”
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    Offline Incredulous

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    Re: The Catholic "Onion?"
    « Reply #1 on: October 14, 2019, 09:52:32 PM »
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    •  "Stop smiling you silly goose... or we'll be caught and punished"
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    "Some preachers will keep silence about the truth, and others will trample it underfoot and deny it. Sanctity of life will be held in derision even by those who outwardly profess it, for in those days Our Lord Jesus Christ will send them not a true Pastor but a destroyer."  St. Francis of Assisi

    Offline josefamenendez

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    Re: The Catholic "Onion?"
    « Reply #2 on: October 15, 2019, 08:06:08 AM »
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    • Comedy isn't funny unless there is a bit of misconceived truth to relate to. At least the audience that this was intended for (NO libs) would find this piece sarcastic enough to laugh.
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    Online Ladislaus

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    Re: The Catholic "Onion?"
    « Reply #3 on: October 15, 2019, 09:08:18 AM »
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    • Yeah, this piece makes it sound like the SSPX has gone Jansenistic/rigoristic.  Quite the opposite is true.  We're just a few steps away from clown Masses at SSPX chapels, so there's no lack of mirth and joy in the neo-SSPX.

    During my seminary years, there were a group of seven 5th- and 6th- year seminarians who were extremely dour and rigoristic and overly-serious.  We started calling them the Seven Penitential Psalms.  Interestingly, very few of these "Psalms" left for the Resistance, but the seminarians just a couple years behind them formed the core of the first Resistance priests.
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    Offline Quo vadis Domine

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    Re: The Catholic "Onion?"
    « Reply #4 on: October 15, 2019, 09:19:16 AM »
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    • Quote from: Ladislaus on October 15, 2019, 09:08:18 AM
    Yeah, this piece makes it sound like the SSPX has gone Jansenistic/rigoristic.  Quite the opposite is true.  We're just a few steps away from clown Masses at SSPX chapels, so there's no lack of mirth and joy in the neo-SSPX.
    I thought the same thing. Satire is based on irony not reality.
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    Offline SeanJohnson

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    Re: The Catholic "Onion?"
    « Reply #5 on: October 15, 2019, 09:30:13 AM »
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    • Quote from: Quo vadis Domine on October 15, 2019, 09:19:16 AM
    I thought the same thing. Satire is based on irony not reality.
    Agreed; it only occurred to me after I had already hit the post button.  Had I to do over again, I would not have posted this (for the reasons stated).
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    Offline Quo vadis Domine

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    Re: The Catholic "Onion?"
    « Reply #6 on: October 15, 2019, 09:47:26 AM »
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    • Quote from: SeanJohnson on October 15, 2019, 09:30:13 AM
    Agreed; it only occurred to me after I had already hit the post button.  Had I to do over again, I would not have posted this (for the reasons stated).
    No worries. If that was my only mistake I’d be happy. 
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    For what doth it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of his own soul? Or what exchange shall a man give for his soul?

    Offline Maria Regina

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    Re: The Catholic "Onion?"
    « Reply #7 on: October 15, 2019, 12:36:11 PM »
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    • Quote from: Ladislaus on October 15, 2019, 09:08:18 AM
    Yeah, this piece makes it sound like the SSPX has gone Jansenistic/rigoristic.  Quite the opposite is true.  We're just a few steps away from clown Masses at SSPX chapels, so there's no lack of mirth and joy in the neo-SSPX.

    During my seminary years, there were a group of seven 5th- and 6th- year seminarians who were extremely dour and rigoristic and overly-serious.  We started calling them the Seven Penitential Psalms.  Interestingly, very few of these "Psalms" left for the Resistance, but the seminarians just a couple years behind them formed the core of the first Resistance priests.


    With that kind of satire, Trad Vatican II Catholics will be sure to avoid contact with the SSPX, thinking that they are Jansenistic.

    Is the SSPX doing concelebrations with the Novus Ordo yet?

    This will be the first modernization to occur to insure the feeling of "brotherhood, liberty, and equality" among priests. Next will come the touchy-feely hugs offered during the Mass as a sign of peace so that both laity and priests will experience this brotherhood, liberty and equality and feel truly liberated as Catholics. The Globalists are working extremely fast to inculcate these Masonry ideas into the SSPX to complete the subversion and subjugation of the SSPX to the Vatican Masonic leaders.

    Altar girls, women Eucharistic ministers, women lectors, and even the ordination of female deacons will be the final steps to insure that women are fully liberated.

    By this time, faithful and blindly obedient SSPX members will no longer resist any efforts by the Vatican to make the push toward the Anti-Christ worship of the Beast. A sign that this is occurring is rampant ecuмenism, inter-faith Assisi events, and worship with Eastern pagans as pushed by the late Thomas Merton.

    We must resist all signs of modernism and ecuмenism.
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    Offline Incredulous

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    Re: The Catholic "Onion?"
    « Reply #8 on: October 15, 2019, 08:47:32 PM »
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    • What happens in the SSPX sanctuaries is highly regulated, from the priest’s sermon, guided by the Menzingen brotherhood’s bi-monthly “talking points” to the weekly bulletin, to the speed of the Mass.

    The fast pace of the reading of the Mass liturgy, coupled with the monotone Latin are changes that have been reported from their chapels all over the country.

    The neo-SSPX “speed Mass” is actually a sacrilege.
    It represents disdain for the Tridentine Mass and is a precursor to other changes coming to the liturgy.

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    "Some preachers will keep silence about the truth, and others will trample it underfoot and deny it. Sanctity of life will be held in derision even by those who outwardly profess it, for in those days Our Lord Jesus Christ will send them not a true Pastor but a destroyer."  St. Francis of Assisi

    Offline poche

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    Re: The Catholic "Onion?"
    « Reply #9 on: October 16, 2019, 05:34:57 AM »
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    • On Jeunecatholiquesdetradition, there was an icon of a very unhappy looking person holding a sign that said, "Je suis Catho!" My say "je suis Catho!" I am smiling. 
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    Offline poche

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    Re: The Catholic "Onion?"
    « Reply #10 on: October 16, 2019, 10:56:33 PM »
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    • "Save us Lord, from sad saints." - St Teresa of Avila 
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