Author Topic: Stop Manipulating the Situation (Read 10347 times)

InfiniteFaith · « **on:** April 19, 2015, 12:05:11 PM »

To start I will describe what I think is happening in my situation at Church. I suspect that the women at my Church are cohesively working together in order to set me up with one of the women there. The woman is somebody whom I suspect to be a very good person, but that I would not choose for marriage on my own freewill. Why might I suspect this?

Today I went into the cafeteria of the Church after mass. 2 women (1 of which the girl who I am talking about) must have noticed me go into the cafeteria. After lounging around for a few minutes. They come into the cafeteria and pass by me. I got the sense that they wanted to see my reaction, and whether or not I would say hi and which one I would look at while saying hi.

Another example of what is going on..

There was a dance a couple of months ago that I went to, and a few of the women at my Church made a pass at me (expressed nonverbal interest) just a day or 2 prior to the dance. When I showed up at the dance, those same women were hanging all over their boyfriends which I had no idea that they had. Low and behold the same woman from my first example was at the dance without a boyfriend. Why would the other women make a pass at me prior to the dance when they had boyfriends? Perhaps to get me to go the dance that everyone was aware of? Perhaps to get me to go to the dance because of this one woman?

These are the two examples that I can think of off the top of my head that lead me to believe that the women at my Church are manipulating the situation in order to match me up with this one woman. I also suspect that they are putting me into a sticky situation to where if I pursue another woman that I will get turned down. All in order to get me to go with this particular woman whom I am not interested.

If this is occurring, which I suspect it is, I really think it needs to stop. It does, in fact, cause me to become a little bit angry. I also think that people (women in this case) should not try to manipulate a situation in such a way. In all reality it is not allowing God to bring 2 people together naturally. It is actually preventing God from doing so. There is no need to try to manipulate a situation to bring 2 people together.

Lastly, while I am at it, in case some of the women in this thread come to this website and read my posts here, I know what I want. I want a woman who is holy and of the same caliber (looks wise) as myself. I will not settle for anything other than that. So if you are listening and you are trying to manipulate the situation then please stop. You are only really causing me anger and frustration. I do not like games like these.

P.S. And seriously, do not try to make me out to be the bad guy for not accepting a woman who is average looking or less. I do not believe in that ideology. I know what I want, and I do realize looks are not everything. You must truly love that person also. I won't accept anything that does not meet my criteria.

InfiniteFaith · « **Reply #1 on:** April 19, 2015, 12:17:40 PM »

Quote from: InfiniteFaith

To start I will describe what I think is happening in my situation at Church. I suspect that the women at my Church are cohesively working together in order to set me up with one of the women there. The woman is somebody whom I suspect to be a very good person, but that I would not choose for marriage on my own freewill. Why might I suspect this?

Today I went into the cafeteria of the Church after mass. 2 women (1 of which the girl who I am talking about) must have noticed me go into the cafeteria. After lounging around for a few minutes. They come into the cafeteria and pass by me. I got the sense that they wanted to see my reaction, and whether or not I would say hi and which one I would look at while saying hi.

Another example of what is going on..

There was a dance a couple of months ago that I went to, and a few of the women at my Church made a pass at me (expressed nonverbal interest) just a day or 2 prior to the dance. When I showed up at the dance, those same women were hanging all over their boyfriends which I had no idea that they had. Low and behold the same woman from my first example was at the dance without a boyfriend. Why would the other women make a pass at me prior to the dance when they had boyfriends? Perhaps to get me to go the dance that everyone was aware of? Perhaps to get me to go to the dance because of this one woman?

These are the two examples that I can think of off the top of my head that lead me to believe that the women at my Church are manipulating the situation in order to match me up with this one woman. I also suspect that they are putting me into a sticky situation to where if I pursue another woman that I will get turned down. All in order to get me to go with this particular woman whom I am not interested.

If this is occurring, which I suspect it is, I really think it needs to stop. It does, in fact, cause me to become a little bit angry. I also think that people (women in this case) should not try to manipulate a situation in such a way. In all reality it is not allowing God to bring 2 people together naturally. It is actually preventing God from doing so. There is no need to try to manipulate a situation to bring 2 people together.

Lastly, while I am at it, in case some of the women in this thread come to this website and read my posts here, I know what I want. I want a woman who is holy and of the same caliber (looks wise) as myself. I will not settle for anything other than that. So if you are listening and you are trying to manipulate the situation then please stop. You are only really causing me anger and frustration. I do not like games like these.

P.S. And seriously, do not try to make me out to be the bad guy for not accepting a woman who is average looking or less. I do not believe in that ideology. I know what I want, and I do realize looks are not everything. You must truly love that person also. I won't accept anything that does not meet my criteria.

In my second to last paragraph I meant to say,"in case some of the women im my Church come to this website and read my posts".

InfiniteFaith · « **Reply #2 on:** April 19, 2015, 12:32:59 PM »

Last but not least..

God bestowed the gift of good looks for a reason. Generally speaking (assuming things are not being tampered with) good looking people tend to flock together. That is not to say that non-good looking people are of lesser value to God. But good looking people tend to seek mates who are good looking as well. Thats just how the mating game works.

AMDGJMJ · « **Reply #3 on:** April 19, 2015, 01:42:29 PM »

Quote from: InfiniteFaith

To start I will describe what I think is happening in my situation at Church. I suspect that the women at my Church are cohesively working together in order to set me up with one of the women there. The woman is somebody whom I suspect to be a very good person, but that I would not choose for marriage on my own freewill. Why might I suspect this?

Today I went into the cafeteria of the Church after mass. 2 women (1 of which the girl who I am talking about) must have noticed me go into the cafeteria. After lounging around for a few minutes. They come into the cafeteria and pass by me. I got the sense that they wanted to see my reaction, and whether or not I would say hi and which one I would look at while saying hi.

Another example of what is going on..

There was a dance a couple of months ago that I went to, and a few of the women at my Church made a pass at me (expressed nonverbal interest) just a day or 2 prior to the dance. When I showed up at the dance, those same women were hanging all over their boyfriends which I had no idea that they had. Low and behold the same woman from my first example was at the dance without a boyfriend. Why would the other women make a pass at me prior to the dance when they had boyfriends? Perhaps to get me to go the dance that everyone was aware of? Perhaps to get me to go to the dance because of this one woman?

These are the two examples that I can think of off the top of my head that lead me to believe that the women at my Church are manipulating the situation in order to match me up with this one woman. I also suspect that they are putting me into a sticky situation to where if I pursue another woman that I will get turned down. All in order to get me to go with this particular woman whom I am not interested.

If this is occurring, which I suspect it is, I really think it needs to stop. It does, in fact, cause me to become a little bit angry. I also think that people (women in this case) should not try to manipulate a situation in such a way. In all reality it is not allowing God to bring 2 people together naturally. It is actually preventing God from doing so. There is no need to try to manipulate a situation to bring 2 people together.

Lastly, while I am at it, in case some of the women in this thread come to this website and read my posts here, I know what I want. I want a woman who is holy and of the same caliber (looks wise) as myself. I will not settle for anything other than that. So if you are listening and you are trying to manipulate the situation then please stop. You are only really causing me anger and frustration. I do not like games like these.

P.S. And seriously, do not try to make me out to be the bad guy for not accepting a woman who is average looking or less. I do not believe in that ideology. I know what I want, and I do realize looks are not everything. You must truly love that person also. I won't accept anything that does not meet my criteria.

Hi InfiniteFaith,

I have been in the situation you are mentioning many times over...

In the long run, people never seem to stop trying to set other people up and make matches for them. Yet, God always has the final say. So, try not to get too overwhelmed with the situation you are in.

One thing that I have often found helps is being absolutely open with those around you. It prevents a lot of pain and hurt for everyone.

If you think that someone likes you and is constantly pursuing you, but you don't think you would be a good match for each other; talk to her and tell her that this is the case.

She would probably prefer to know the truth sooner rather than later -even if she might take it hard at first.

God bless you and grant you peace! :-)

InfiniteFaith · « **Reply #4 on:** April 19, 2015, 01:56:27 PM »

Quote from: AMDGJMJ

Quote from: InfiniteFaith
To start I will describe what I think is happening in my situation at Church. I suspect that the women at my Church are cohesively working together in order to set me up with one of the women there. The woman is somebody whom I suspect to be a very good person, but that I would not choose for marriage on my own freewill. Why might I suspect this?

Today I went into the cafeteria of the Church after mass. 2 women (1 of which the girl who I am talking about) must have noticed me go into the cafeteria. After lounging around for a few minutes. They come into the cafeteria and pass by me. I got the sense that they wanted to see my reaction, and whether or not I would say hi and which one I would look at while saying hi.

Another example of what is going on..

There was a dance a couple of months ago that I went to, and a few of the women at my Church made a pass at me (expressed nonverbal interest) just a day or 2 prior to the dance. When I showed up at the dance, those same women were hanging all over their boyfriends which I had no idea that they had. Low and behold the same woman from my first example was at the dance without a boyfriend. Why would the other women make a pass at me prior to the dance when they had boyfriends? Perhaps to get me to go the dance that everyone was aware of? Perhaps to get me to go to the dance because of this one woman?

These are the two examples that I can think of off the top of my head that lead me to believe that the women at my Church are manipulating the situation in order to match me up with this one woman. I also suspect that they are putting me into a sticky situation to where if I pursue another woman that I will get turned down. All in order to get me to go with this particular woman whom I am not interested.

If this is occurring, which I suspect it is, I really think it needs to stop. It does, in fact, cause me to become a little bit angry. I also think that people (women in this case) should not try to manipulate a situation in such a way. In all reality it is not allowing God to bring 2 people together naturally. It is actually preventing God from doing so. There is no need to try to manipulate a situation to bring 2 people together.

Lastly, while I am at it, in case some of the women in this thread come to this website and read my posts here, I know what I want. I want a woman who is holy and of the same caliber (looks wise) as myself. I will not settle for anything other than that. So if you are listening and you are trying to manipulate the situation then please stop. You are only really causing me anger and frustration. I do not like games like these.

P.S. And seriously, do not try to make me out to be the bad guy for not accepting a woman who is average looking or less. I do not believe in that ideology. I know what I want, and I do realize looks are not everything. You must truly love that person also. I won't accept anything that does not meet my criteria.

Hi InfiniteFaith,

I have been in the situation you are mentioning many times over...

In the long run, people never seem to stop trying to set other people up and make matches for them. Yet, God always has the final say. So, try not to get too overwhelmed with the situation you are in.

One thing that I have often found helps is being absolutely open with those around you. It prevents a lot of pain and hurt for everyone.

If you think that someone likes you and is constantly pursuing you, but you don't think you would be a good match for each other; talk to her and tell her that this is the case.

She would probably prefer to know the truth sooner rather than later -even if she might take it hard at first.

God bless you and grant you peace! :-)

If the woman in question would come on to me strong enough then I would. Things are being done very subtly which makes it difficult to address.

I almost sense that if I were to pursue another women then I would get turned down just because of this woman. I really don't like being put into a bind like this, and I think this is what is going on. They are trying to make me feel like this is my only option.

If this issue persists then I will probably just go to a different Church.

Malleus · « **Reply #5 on:** April 19, 2015, 01:59:17 PM »

Seems to me like you're just dreaming this all up in your head.

I find it curious you are having such a hard time finding a girl when you're supposedly so good looking as you constantly say here. Usually when you're that good looking the only problems you have are fending them off and having a hard time to pick one because you have so many available.

This thread just makes me think you're deluded.

InfiniteFaith · « **Reply #6 on:** April 19, 2015, 02:10:01 PM »

Quote from: Malleus

Seems to me like you're just dreaming this all up in your head.

I find it curious you are having such a hard time finding a girl when you're supposedly so good looking as you constantly say here. Usually when you're that good looking the only problems you have are fending them off and having a hard time to pick one because you have so many available.

This thread just makes me think you're deluded.

I don't think your mind is big enough to conceive of such a thing...thats why.

Malleus · « **Reply #7 on:** April 19, 2015, 02:26:03 PM »

Quote from: InfiniteFaith

Quote from: Malleus
Seems to me like you're just dreaming this all up in your head.

I find it curious you are having such a hard time finding a girl when you're supposedly so good looking as you constantly say here. Usually when you're that good looking the only problems you have are fending them off and having a hard time to pick one because you have so many available.

This thread just makes me think you're deluded.

I don't think your mind is big enough to conceive of such a thing...thats why.

I'm not even that good looking myself and yet I have many good looking girls who are interested in me because they all seem to think I'm good looking, but I myself don't really think I am.

So if that's my case, how should it be with you who gives the impression you're some kind of Brad Pitt?

Seriously, beautiful women are all over the place.

If you want her to already be a traditionalist, perhaps your best bet is to find one you really like who isn't a trad and then try to convert her.

Haha.

PerEvangelicaDicta · « **Reply #8 on:** April 19, 2015, 02:32:40 PM »

Quote from: InfiniteFaith

Last but not least..

God bestowed the gift of good looks for a reason. Generally speaking (assuming things are not being tampered with) good looking people tend to flock together. That is not to say that non-good looking people are of lesser value to God. But good looking people tend to seek mates who are good looking as well. Thats just how the mating game works.

!

Your statement should read: holy people tend to flock together.
And you should flock with them. That's your best shot at finding a virtuous wife. Perhaps you'll be mature enough not weigh her value with modern scales and judge her by your perception of outward beauty. By stating "I want a holy wife and she must be beautiful", you are dictating terms to God. That never goes well.

Charlemagne · « **Reply #9 on:** April 19, 2015, 02:42:17 PM »

Based on your numerous "good-looking" posts, I'm starting to think you should've chosen "InfiniteVanity" as your screen name. Sorry; it needed to be said. Good looks (real or imagined) are fleeting.

InfiniteFaith · « **Reply #10 on:** April 19, 2015, 03:16:26 PM »

Quote from: PerEvangelicaDicta

Quote from: InfiniteFaith
Last but not least..

God bestowed the gift of good looks for a reason. Generally speaking (assuming things are not being tampered with) good looking people tend to flock together. That is not to say that non-good looking people are of lesser value to God. But good looking people tend to seek mates who are good looking as well. Thats just how the mating game works.

!

Your statement should read: holy people tend to flock together.
And you should flock with them. That's your best shot at finding a virtuous wife. Perhaps you'll be mature enough not weigh her value with modern scales and judge her by your perception of outward beauty. By stating "I want a holy wife and she must be beautiful", you are dictating terms to God. That never goes well.

I suppose if God wanted me to be with an average looking woman then that is what I would do. But I will not seek a woman who is average. Nor will I allow myself to be manipulated into being with one.

I don't see how you come to the conclusion that valuing good looks is immature. I do not see it that way. Perhaps you can enlighten on how it is. I want true love with someone who is the same caliber as myself. There is nothing wrong with that.

If what I said in my OP is going on then it is not me that is really dictating anything. It would be the women at my Church. They should not be doing that.

By setting standards you are not really dictating.

InfiniteFaith · « **Reply #11 on:** April 19, 2015, 03:21:44 PM »

Quote from: PerEvangelicaDicta

Quote from: InfiniteFaith
Last but not least..

God bestowed the gift of good looks for a reason. Generally speaking (assuming things are not being tampered with) good looking people tend to flock together. That is not to say that non-good looking people are of lesser value to God. But good looking people tend to seek mates who are good looking as well. Thats just how the mating game works.

!

Your statement should read: holy people tend to flock together.
And you should flock with them. That's your best shot at finding a virtuous wife. Perhaps you'll be mature enough not weigh her value with modern scales and judge her by your perception of outward beauty. By stating "I want a holy wife and she must be beautiful", you are dictating terms to God. That never goes well.

I don't judge someone based solely on outer beauty.

Look around at your Church. Doesn't it seem like most good looking people marry other good looking people? I have noticed that at the SSPX chapels that I have attended.

Croixalist · « **Reply #12 on:** April 19, 2015, 03:51:02 PM »

Guess it's back to only friending the cute ones on Faithbook!

Malleus · « **Reply #13 on:** April 19, 2015, 04:44:13 PM »

Quote from: InfiniteFaith

...someone who is the same caliber as myself.

Any man that says stuff like this is a narcissist who needs a good dose of humility.

Stop whining in a forum and go find someone already.

I would understand an ugly person feeling bad about not being able to get a pretty girl, but an allegedly good-looking man?

This is just nuts.

InfiniteFaith · « **Reply #14 on:** April 19, 2015, 05:21:55 PM »

Quote from: Malleus

Quote from: InfiniteFaith
...someone who is the same caliber as myself.

Any man that says stuff like this is a narcissist who needs a good dose of humility.

Stop whining in a forum and go find someone already.

I would understand an ugly person feeling bad about not being able to get a pretty girl, but an allegedly good-looking man?

This is just nuts.

It happens trust me. Read into what one of the first posters in this thread was saying. He experienced the same thing.

I am not saying I am the best looking man out there, but I do realize that I am a relatively good looking man. I seek someone who is about the same caliber because it is only fair. I do not expect to get someone who is out of my league. At the same time I am not going to settle for someone who is below my standard.