Ok, so I'm new here, but I want answers, so here goes.
I have often heard it said that someone has a "vocation" to do something, like join a religious order, but I'm not sure about doing it. I want to do it, but I don't agree with what happens in the Vatican 2 church, and there is no religious order or monastery that it is likely I will get in to that is not corrupted unto extremes by the spirit of Vatican 2.
I don't like novus ordo mass,
don't want to hear protestant hyms,
don't want to see guitars and violins and pianos at mass.
don't want to be in the same building as people dancing and clapping like a party at mass
don't want to get liberal and often heretical notions from novus ordo priests
don't want to see the pope, if he is the pope ( I wonder about this) placing a beach ball on the alter, or saying that women should have more roles in the church, or saying who is he to judge gαys.
etc.
What I do want to do is devote this life to returning the church to orthodoxy, not that I will succeed, but when I go to my judgement I don't want to seem as if I have done anything else with this life because nothing else is this important.
I took a private vow of chastity when I was 23, I am 28 now and have stuck to it, although I wonder if I should get married and as a man take the strength of having a good woman who loves me and use it to give me courage as I fight from the outside without censorship for the return to tradition.
I cannot attend the TLM where I live because there is only a handful of TLMs in the whole country. I love writing and some notion I have is to go to a place where there is TLM and live as a hermit just writing books, only thing is, Ive met a nice girl and don't want to have regrets years later if I was supposed to get married. Don't know what to do to be honest.
What do I do?