Mr. President, two questions: what will you do about the (1) LGBTQ groups and (2) all the damned bike lanes taking over our city streets?

My fellow American-

As my platform supposes the criminalization of any manifestation of degenerate sɛҳuąƖ deviancy, all the fruitcakes will have to get back into the closet.

Admittedly, it would be better to just send them to Nebraska or Israel, but if they cannot be eradicated from the land, they will at least be prevented from any public protection or manifestation.

Only slightly worse, is the emergence of the new pestilence called bike lanes.

It shall become legal under my reign...er...administration to run any bicyclist arrogating to themselves the "right" to hinder traffic off the road.  If such bicyclist is wearing spandex or helmet, it shall be legal to put the car in reverse and hit them again.

Citizens who can demonstrate multiple civic acts along these lines shall be given discounts on land purchases.

PS: Did you hear the one about the queer midget?  He came out of the cupboard!

"He that shall draw the sword from the stone shall be king." We just have to find an appropriate sword, stone - which I take for granite - and the obligatory watery non-tart - with a Traditional Catholic vein - (cf 1981 Excalibur. VERY modestly attired aforementioned non-tart.) :D :-\ 8)

Seriously, the world needs another Polish monarch. I place my sword and this tired body in thy service. 

One last point:

Every adult male of sound mind and non-felonious history shall be required to keep 1 automatic pistol and 1 semi-automatic rifle (with at least 1,000 rounds for each).

These weapons will be paid for by the state governments, financed by the sale of public land.

Don't sell public land.  There's enough savings from cancelling aid to Israel to pay for this.

One last point:

Every adult male of sound mind and non-felonious history shall be required to keep 1 automatic pistol and 1 semi-automatic rifle (with at least 1,000 rounds for each).

These weapons will be paid for by the state governments, financed by the sale of public land.

Requesting an amendment to thy soon-to-be sovereign of the New Confederacy..............
1. Thy pistol must be of the 45 ACP calibre, and ideally should be a Sig or an HK manufacture. 9 mm is right out! :D
2. A bolt action and lever action shalt thy also be in possession of, as these are traditional weapon platforms.
3. At minimum a pump action shotgun with varied ammunition shalt also be required.
Respectfully presented before thy soon to be imperium.
Deus Vult et Deo Vindice

Ban Jєωs from holding public office.  Later, when no one is looking, extend that to heretics and cast aside the Fundies that helped you get elected.

But such discussions are best left to the smoke-filled back room.

Move the United Nations 500 miles to the east. And ban Jєωιѕн blended whisky.

Please ban all public transportation buses that don’t fit in traffic lanes and which force cars into oncoming traffic or sidewalks.  

Don't sell public land.  There's enough savings from cancelling aid to Israel to pay for this.

Excellent reallocation!