I know a family where the daughter wanted to marry against the father's wishes and he refused to give his approval though they are now married.

If you do a little investigating, it may turn out that the girl's mother did the same thing  

My husband did ask permission. :)

I was 20 at the time, but I think it was very respectful of him to do so.

Of course it was :)

I doubt many (any?) would argue against handling things in a manner that exudes the kind of love and respect one ought to have in such situations.  Still, the modern world is a messed up place and that naturally affects how people see things, act, etc.  If a man who lives far from home is courting a lady who also lives far from home, it is rather natural that their "vision" of their future life together is not the way it would have been if they were two kids who grew up in the same small village, had not left, and probably never would leave.  Whether it is a good or a bad thing, marrying "the entire family" does not actually happen to the same degree in every case.

Not to introduce another angle, but...

Why is it considered respectful to seek approval to 'seal the deal' when few to none seek approval to START courting?  [Think Braveheart, if that helps...Wallace asks for permission to court, which, in a way, makes more sense.]

  :scratchchin: Good point!