Thanks for the quotes from St. Thomas Aquinas. Though I don't think that what he is saying is to be taken as a blanket rule that covers all circumstances.
The fundamental thing Zenith is that it is a free choice - it may be disrespectful and unwise to disregard a father's point of view on the issue, but no father should think it is his decision to make.
Yes Tele I accept that a woman has free choice. Although I would seek the father's approval out of respect, I would not necessarily be turned away if he was unreasonable and unwilling to give his approval.
I'm just curious though if you knew a girl that you intended to marry and you got on well with the Father and he was a reasonable person, would you seek his approval before proposing?
I know a family where the daughter wanted to marry against the father's wishes and he refused to give his approval though they are now married. From what I could see of the situation, I would say a great deal of the hassle came down to a lack of maturity in the girl and her now husband.
Though that may also be a reflection on the way she was raised.
I still couldn't point the finger and say any particular person was in the wrong.
You live and learn and I plan to live in a way that as far as is possible, gives due respect to the parents.