Catholic Info
Traditional Catholic Faith => General Discussion => Topic started by: Alex on January 28, 2011, 02:12:16 PM
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Raoul76's (Mike's) mother hung herself an hour ago. She is dead. Please pray that God may have mercy on her soul. Please pray for Mike during this tragic time.
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Oh how hideous. So very sorry to hear this. :pray: :pray: :pray:
Who is there with Mike? Pls. keep us posted.
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I am very sorry to hear this news.
Prayers for everyone involved. :pray:
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:pray:
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Prayers for her and family
:pray:
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How terrible.
Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine,et lux perpetua luceat eis.
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I've been thinking about them and how they've been, his mother especially. I really wonder how Raoul is taking this.
Please send him my condolences.
Prayers for him. :pray:
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Alex,
If you are in contact with Mike, please pass on our condolences & best wishes -- and let him know we are praying for him and for his mother's soul.
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Thanks for letting me back on Matthew. I sincerely appreciate it. I've been praying for you and for many people on this site, as many as I can remember each evening ( when I don't get lazy ).
Thanks for all the prayers, everybody :pray:. I was kind of surprised Alex mentioned this happening. I wrote a post but I'm not sure if I want to send it, I don't know if it's right to talk about it in too much detail here. I'm also in shock and can't think. I have been working a lot lately on guarding my tongue and this is so serious, I want to be sure I do it right.
What I do want people to know is that there really are mitigating circuмstances, she wasn't in her right mind. Please keep praying, because if there was ever a ѕυιcιdє who has a chance to make it, at least to purgatory, this strikes me as a very clear case. By the time she converted, she was already at such a disadvantage due to a vicious combination of factors -- she was aging, she had been put on various cocktails of drugs, I was in the process of converting and was kind of crazy like new converts tend to be and was putting pressure on her, and plus she had lost her job, where she had worked almost all her life. It was this awful triangulation of things that hit her all at once.
She would always say to me, "I love Jesus and Mary, but it's too late for me." She knew ѕυιcιdє was a mortal sin, and that's why I am hoping that when she did it, it can be blamed on the drug. With her attitude, I think it is certainly possible she repented of what she did before the end. She was just in indescribable pain, not that that makes this any better.
As for how I am, and thanks for asking CS, I am in shock and feeling just indescribably weird for many reasons. I am in a very strange place right now. But God will get me through. There is no reason for anyone to worry, He has lavished a lot of grace on me despite how it looks. Inside He has made me so strong compared to how I was before. If this happened in my twenties, I may have lost my mind.
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I want to also say that two days before this, she read through The Glories of Mary by St. Alphonsus and we had a long talk. I put a picture of St. Anne holding Mary in her room and tried to explain to her that she could just let go and be like a child, giving all her pain to Mary and to God.
I thought she was doing better. The timing of this was completely unexpected. But God was very much on her mind and that is why I hope that this was a split-second decision when she wasn't fully culpable for what she did.
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Raoul, we, in God's mercy always have hope, unlike many who call themselves christians but know not the mercy of God.
Although there are no words that can make things better right now, know that you are not alone.
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I'm so sorry to hear this.
Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon her. May she rest in peace. Amen.
Prayers for you too, Raoul.
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Will pray for her every day in our family Rosary, and for you also, Raoul. I'm so very sorry. :pray:
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I am so sorry. You and your mother are in our prayers.
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Raoul, my heart aches. Our family will pray many prayers for you and your mother. God is merciful, I know.
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Raoul, I'm deeply sorry to hear about this loss. I will also pray for you and for your mother's soul.
God Bless.
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Mike,
It's been a long time. After visiting the forum, I was deeply shocked to hear of your mother's death. My prayers for her and the repose of her soul.
Blessings,
Don
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:pray:
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+ RIP +
May Our Lady guard and guide you, Mike -- now and always.
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Raoul, praying for you every day!
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:pray:
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:pray:
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Just ready to say the Rosary here. We'll be praying for you, Raoul and your mother, and also at Mass tomorrow.
Eternal rest grant unto her Oh Lord and let perpetual light shine upon her. May she rest in peace.
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Our condolences and prayers for you, friend. I missed having you around here.
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Raoul I am kinda sure she was not really guilty of mortal sin. Sometimes when you have very severe depression you feel your brain is like an empty box you can't even think a simple thought, you can even experience a temporal loss of eyesight.
Then you do/say things with no reason.
I have experienced it many times. When it happens you don't feel like a person, you just want to go, just go no matter where.....
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Raoul, it is good to hear from you again although I wish it were under better circuмstances.
Some of the anti-depressant drugs have nasty side-effects like causing wild mood swings and even homicidal or suicidal impulses. This is well-docuмented. You should maybe Google the names of some of her medications and see if any of them are associated with those vicious side-effects. This would certainly reduce any culpability your mom had in taking her own life.
Are there are any other family members or friends around right now? This is not a good time for you to be alone.
You and your mother are in my prayers, Mike. God bless.
:pray:
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Raoul!!!!
I'm so sad for all this.. and you coming back this way. God bless you my friend. I know alot of us miss you here, and hearing about your mom when I heard back then of the problems is just saddening.
Just wanted you to know your mom was on my mass intentions today.
:incense:
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Thanks for the tactful contribution, roscoe...
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How cold can you be Roscoe! Shame on you for making such a comment when Raoul has gone through a tragedy like this.
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I removed it -- it was indeed very callous and tactless.
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I find it strange that my innocuous post expressing understanding of what the victim suffered was removed and yet a blasphemous photoshopped image of Pius XII(XIII) allegedly making like baphomet posted by Raoul was left alone. :confused1:
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Perhaps I am being a bit hasty but IF Raouls mom killed herself because of shame over his blasphemous act then she prob is a martyr by now. i don't know how that is 'callous and tactless'.
This type of Alice in Wonderland thinking is typical of the v2/ 'sede' logic that prevails in the forum.
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Roscoe, killing yourself does not make you a martyr, for starters. None of the martyrs who died for The Catholic Church killed themselves, they themselves were killed. And regardless of whether or not you and Raoul get along, you should not be making nasty comments. His mother died just days ago, you can at least show some compassion. How would you like it if someone you were closed to died and when you announced it here all anyone did was cut you down for your beliefs?
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SS does not know that Raoul's mother is not a martyr. IF the scenario is as I have speculated then it is indeed poss. I think Raoul should have showed 'compassion' when he posted the blasphemous fraud of Pius XII(XIII) making like the devil. Then there are those who attempt to cabalise the Papal gesture of Salvation through the Trinity into the same baphomet. I am not sure which is more blasphemous.
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Just because Raoul posted something blasphemous does not mean you should not show him any compassion when his mother dies. Heck, I don't agree with his sedevacantist stance, nor did I always get along with him before he got banned, but you don't see me posting about how terrible of a person he is. Him posting a blasphemous picture probably does not even compare to your claim of being a stigmatist...
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As anyone reading this topic can discern, I did not say that Raoul was a 'terrible person'. Why is it necessary to put words in my mouth?
I have also not claimed to be a stigmatist.
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I've noticed that lately the quality of roscoe's contributions to the forum are declining, Im afraid, as evidenced above.
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Given that i suggested Raoul's mother may be a martyr, i think what I posted was quite charitable. As for Raoul, we owe him no quarter after his blasphemous attack on our Pope. Since however he is not here to defend himself, possibly i owe an apology for that.
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roscoe, you are behaving like a colossal idiot.
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roscoe, you are behaving like a colossal idiot.
I second this.
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Given that i suggested Raoul's mother may be a martyr, i think what I posted was quite charitable. As for Raoul, we owe him no quarter after his blasphemous attack on our Pope. Since however he is not here to defend himself, possibly i owe an apology for that.
No, it's not charitable to call someone who did not die due to persecution from others a martyr. Also you did claim to be a stigmatist, as we have already been over this. If you are going to behave in such a cruel way then you have no purpose in posting.
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Rosoe,
May I humbly suggest that you accept the admonishment of just about every other poster on this thread and Shut UP?
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roscoe, you are behaving like a colossal idiot.
I second this.
Thirded.
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Rosoe,
May I humbly suggest that you accept the admonishment of just about every other poster on this thread and Shut UP?
:applause:
Im so happy Raoul is back. Ill read his posts any day to yours, Roscoe!
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Is Raoul back? All should note that he once posted a blasphemous photoshopped pic of Pius XII(XIII) flinging the baphomet. I can't exactly remember but I would imagine that he believes-- like CM-- that Pius XII(XIII) is an anti-pope.
If anyone wants to read the posts of someone who thinks Pope Pacelli( protoge and student of Card Rampolla) is an anti-pope, be my guest. :smoke-pot:
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roscoe, you are behaving like a colossal idiot.
I second this.
Thirded.
Fourthed.
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Is Raoul back? All should note that he once posted a blasphemous photoshopped pic of Pius XII(XIII) flinging the baphomet. I can't exactly remember but I would imagine that he believes-- like CM-- that Pius XII(XIII) is an anti-pope.
If anyone wants to read the posts of someone who thinks Pope Pacelli( protoge and student of Card Rampolla) is an anti-pope, be my guest. :smoke-pot:
I think most see this thread as a place to note that his mother died tragically and to offer him condolences and prayers. It puzzles me that anyone could conclude it is about anything else.
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roscoe, you are behaving like a colossal idiot.
I second this.
Thirded.
Fourthed.
Fifthed.
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Is Raoul back? All should note that he once posted a blasphemous photoshopped pic of Pius XII(XIII) flinging the baphomet. I can't exactly remember but I would imagine that he believes-- like CM-- that Pius XII(XIII) is an anti-pope.
If anyone wants to read the posts of someone who thinks Pope Pacelli( protoge and student of Card Rampolla) is an anti-pope, be my guest. :smoke-pot:
Reading the posts of someone who smokes pot and thinks he is a Stigmatist isn't much better...
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I have to thank roscoe, I am chuckling inside a little bit.
Again, thanks for the prayers and support from everybody here and in the private messages. I just don't feel right writing about this on the Internet and I think that was a prudent decision considering the above posts, ha ha. So that is the last I'll say in this thread. But in case anyone is concerned, and I won't lie and say there's no reason for concern, just pray for me and with God's help I'll make it through.
St. Jude, I appreciate your simple and truthful post. I have a very small and dwindling family and that situation is awkward, but I have a surprising number of Catholic friends who have been very good to me and have given me a lot of their time. Alex is a godsend and has taken me out to lunch. I agree completely about the antidepressants and the reduced culpability. I don't necessarily count on seeing my mom in heaven, but I will certainly be hoping and praying for it.
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Spouse of Jesus said --
I have experienced it many times. When it happens you don't feel like a person, you just want to go, just go no matter where.....
This is very scary, Spouse, that's exactly what my mom said. She said she felt like a non-human. I know you have been on antidepressants and now I'm worrying about you as well... I hope you know that people love you here even if they don't say it, you are very special. All sorts of people loved my mom but she thought she was alone. But we aren't really alone even though it feels like it often.
More importantly, God loves you. How often do you think someone gets the grace to be a trad Catholic in Iran?
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I thank you Raoul. Yes God's grace is great.
We just need to gaze on Him, because if we turn our eyes away, there is just darkness.
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That's for sure. As I've said many times, if this happened before I was Catholic, I'd probably have gone crazy.
I hope you've gotten baptized!
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Maybe your rat-faced self (isn't that how you once described it? -- LOL) and our own dear spouse should meet?
Pax vobis, my friends...
A 'friend' of my father's told me he thought my dad may have killed himself...but I do not trust the man as far as I can throw him and...I pray for the rest of my father's poor soul...I ask all who read this to do the same...his name is John Patrick Shea...THANK YOU :)
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Your dad passed away recently? I'm glad you let us know so we can pray for him.
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Actually, it was sixteen years ago last Dec 30th. All the same, and perhaps even more, I would be most grateful for any prayers, even the most passing thereof. I will thank you and God will reward you.
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I'm trying to follow your train of thought, gladius. You say I described myself as rat-faced and then say I should meet spouse. What are you saying, that we are both self-loathing and so we'd get along? Ha ha.
You also seem to be hinting I share my mom's depression. In truth I don't think I can comprehend what my mom went through. I was depressed and ( so I thought ) suicidal in my twenties but never came close to actually doing myself harm; I don't know if I have that in me. It's one thing to want "peace" and to fantasize about achieving it by killing yourself -- back then I wasn't Catholic and had no awareness of hell -- but it's something else entirely to actually take that last step and do real violence to your person. This experience has really made me see how mysterious and incomprehensible ѕυιcιdє is. It's easy to understand why someone would think about it, but it's unfathomable to me that someone would actually do it.
My mother was tormented in a way I hope I never experience. I think I am a sort of balanced version of my mom and my dad. My dad is more rational, almost too rational to the point where he can seem to be lacking sensitivity; my mom was an idealist. I relate more to my mom and have that hyper-sensitive, artsy, intuitive personality, but more and more, the realistic side of my dad is awakening in me.
I think my mom had a hard time coping with the disappointments of reality -- like so many others who think life is supposed to be one way and then can't handle it when it's not. The tragedy of all this is that by the time she started to understand the faith, and thus to understand reality, she was too messed up on anti-depressants to really be able to get peace of mind. It's like she intellectually understood the faith but was too worn down to really internalize it and live it out in her daily life. Yet I think she really did begin to understand the truth and thus that there is a good chance for her soul, if she repented of what she did before it was over.
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As for spouse, I'd love to meet her, especially so I could bundle her into my car and get her to a priest who will finally baptize her. Apart from that, I've chosen the path of celibacy.
If you're suggesting I go to Iran, I hope you are in touch with the Great Monarch because short of being in his army it is unlikely that I'll ever set foot in that particular country, heh.
I'll pray for your father. Did he suffer from depression? Why would this person suggest he commit ѕυιcιdє? Of course you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to.
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I'm trying to follow your train of thought, gladius.
That would be hard, as there was not much thought :)
Too much chardonnay while enjoying paradise in February. SORRY :)
Carry on...
As for my father, he suffered a great deal from having spent quite a bit of time in Vietnam. He drank and smoked too much, although it was perhaps exacerbated by any possible demons accrued during the war.
I was wrong to mention anything about you, spouse, etc. You are both good souls and I simply pray God's will may be done in your lives. Please pardon my loose tongue.
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Hello Raoul76:
Please accept my condolences for the tragic loss of your mother. I cannot presume to have the words or wisdom wherewith to console you in this very sorrowful and vexing calamity, but be assured of my prayers for the eternal repose of your mother. Be also assured of my prayers for you and your family, that you may be endowed with the graces necessary to abandon yourselves with filial trust to the Providence of our Blessed Lord, Who disposes all things according to the designs of His ineffable clemency and charity.
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Well, idealism and depression go hand in hand.
BTW Raoul there are some tips that maybe of some use if one has a disposition to depression:
1-avoid low blood sugar and strict diets.
2-Don't watch too much horror movies or read anything about accidents, wars, catastrophes etc.
3-Don't read ascetic books of certain Saints if you have OCD. Meditating on hell can cause despair.
4-Don't live idle and celibate. either marry or enter religious life. A hypersensitive person's temptations are more violent than the average man.
5-It is better to be a little saint than a super saint.
6-Don't expose yourself to extreme hot or extreme cold weather.
7-Don't aim at perfect. Perfectionism paralyzies all your efforts.
To be continued.....
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I disagree with you on that 3rd tip. For one thing, OCD isn't something entirely out of a person's controll. It can be controlled to an extent, so there's no need to avoid reading about Saints. We are told to read about Saints frequently, reading about them does not at all cause people to meditate on hell very often. Even people with OCD should read about the Saints.
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I don't know about the OCD, but Spouse is onto something. My mom told me she couldn't read about saints because it "scared" her -- namely, the visions of hell. I gave her the autobiography of St. Theresa of Avila and she was really disturbed by it, probably the part where St. Theresa saw hell. There is a part where she saw herself sitting in some little cave and the ground was all dank and dirty, like a ghetto. It is disturbing and feels very realistic.
I was obsessed with hell when I first converted and would spend many miserable hours contemplating what it means to suffer for eternity. I also had a vision of hell and for a brief second experienced, in a limited way, the desolation of the souls there -- which was way beyond earthly depression. Cradle Catholics may not understand just how upsetting it is to learn as an adult that there really is a hell. You can see how upsetting it is by how many Novus Ordo types there are, and others as well, who just refuse to believe it.
I think what spouse is saying is that the ascetics and other saints are vey advanced and for some people who have a more limited faith, a simpler faith, it may not be profitable to go too far in depth. Each person is different. You have to ask God and your guardian angel to advise you on how to handle each individual case. Unfortunately I was often way too rough with my mom. I tried to use the fear of hell to keep her from ѕυιcιdє, but I went too far.
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It is not my opinion, it is what I saw on newadvent website and I agree with it. It said that if you are scruplous (sp?) you had better avoid writings of ascetic nature.
OCD people are prone to scruples.
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Raoul: I am very sorry for your loss. My father committed ѕυιcιdє by hanging in April of 2008. He had been addicted to heroin and marijuana his whole life. My mother died in 1994 and for a while he held it together, he kept working, saw some friends here and there...He never dated or remarried. However, by the 2000's he'd realized his "ultimate goal" of getting onto permanent disability, and became increasingly isolated from everyone. There's a ton of details about him and what he went through and how he saw things, that I won't go into here. I've been a Catholic since 2000, and I tried in vain, month after month, year after year to communicate with my father about the Faith. I didn't go about it the right way. I have had a problem with intemperate zeal, and I've learned the very hard way, that I was actually causing people harm rather than good by being so forceful.
My father had no Faith, although there was some superficial dabbling in Eastern mysticism. He liked the idea of reincarnation. He often mentioned that he remembered being a little boy and believing in God and liking to go to Mass. But it was always said with sadness ... He always seemed to think of that time as a time of childhood, akin to believing in Santa Claus and the tooth-fairy. A nice fantasy, that's all.
His mother was born and raised Catholic, his father had no religion. I found out that my father wasn't baptised until he was 9 years old and apparently, the family didn't attend Mass together much if at all or for any length of time.
I wish I could have managed to be a friend, that we could have been closer than we were, that I could have shown him the LOVE of Christ, rather than just His Justice.
I'm sorry to babble about this. Again, I offer my condolences and grim understanding. It's an ugly, ugly business.
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IMO, the thing that leads people astray where seeking perfection is concerned is their having a wrong idea of it. When we read the Gospel, it is as clear as the summer sun that we are ALL called to be perfect -- it is NOT an optional thing. Wrong ideas, however, lead to wrong actions, even when one is of very good will.
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Raoul: I am very sorry for your loss. My father committed ѕυιcιdє by hanging in April of 2008. He had been addicted to heroin and marijuana his whole life. My mother died in 1994 and for a while he held it together, he kept working, saw some friends here and there...He never dated or remarried. However, by the 2000's he'd realized his "ultimate goal" of getting onto permanent disability, and became increasingly isolated from everyone. There's a ton of details about him and what he went through and how he saw things, that I won't go into here. I've been a Catholic since 2000, and I tried in vain, month after month, year after year to communicate with my father about the Faith. I didn't go about it the right way. I have had a problem with intemperate zeal, and I've learned the very hard way, that I was actually causing people harm rather than good by being so forceful.
My father had no Faith, although there was some superficial dabbling in Eastern mysticism. He liked the idea of reincarnation. He often mentioned that he remembered being a little boy and believing in God and liking to go to Mass. But it was always said with sadness ... He always seemed to think of that time as a time of childhood, akin to believing in Santa Claus and the tooth-fairy. A nice fantasy, that's all.
His mother was born and raised Catholic, his father had no religion. I found out that my father wasn't baptised until he was 9 years old and apparently, the family didn't attend Mass together much if at all or for any length of time.
I wish I could have managed to be a friend, that we could have been closer than we were, that I could have shown him the LOVE of Christ, rather than just His Justice.
I'm sorry to babble about this. Again, I offer my condolences and grim understanding. It's an ugly, ugly business.
I am sorry for your loss, MrsZ. Next to losing a spouse or a child to ѕυιcιdє is losing a parent to it. I am sorry that your father took his life 3 years ago, and I am sorry for the manner in which he decided to end his life.
No one, I firmly believe, dies without hope. I know that you know this but please pray for him, every day of your life. The One and Triune God, who is outside of Time, will hear your prayers from today and will, I believe, have applied His graces in the past.
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Thanks for sharing your story, MrsZ. I read one author who said that "It is man's unhappy lot to want his misery to be shared." I recognize this within myself and try to fight it. But for some reason, without going so far as feeling "happy" that someone else has a parent who committed ѕυιcιdє, it does help when you hear about other people that have gone through this.
I'm worrying about what to say at the funeral. My uncle, an atheist, is going to say she's in a better place and trot out memories. But right now, for me, there are no memories; my mind is frozen on the dead body. Your choice of the word "grim" could not be more accurate. I'm not ready to think about the good times yet. It would feel very, very forced.
I don't really know what to think or if I'm even thinking. I am throwing myself into the business of cleaning and selling the house, discussing religion, having long conversations and lunch sessions with Alex, anything to put some time between myself and the Friday before last.
I am also a lot like you with the intemperate zeal. Imagine my poor mother, already fighting against so many obstacles, having to deal with a self-righteous new convert, who had ( and probably still has ) all the flaws commonly ascribed to new converts. I could look at all that and feel crushed with guilt. But I prefer to think of it this way -- my mom, in all probability, never would have found the Church at all without me.
For what I did wrong, I will beg forgiveness of God, through the intercession of Mary. As bad as my sins are -- being rude and frustrated with my mother, as she put it, speaking to her with "disdain" -- I believe Mary, the greatest mother of all, can ask God to forgive even that. And for what I did right, I will thank God, since it was all through Him.
A couple days before she died when we had a good talk. I remember thinking "Wow, my voice sounds really gentle, the frustrated tone is gone, God is really teaching me more charity." At that point I thought I'd have more time to work on myself and work on my mom. And that God would have more time to work on my mom. But that is not what happened. The timing was truly unexpected, but at least we had this good conversation right before the end.
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Jehanne's quote above "The One and Triune God, who is outside of Time, will hear your prayers from today and will, I believe, have applied His graces in the past." This I do believe, and recently Father gave us a sermon about this very fact.
Raoul - "A couple days before she died when we had a good talk. I remember thinking "Wow, my voice sounds really gentle, the frustrated tone is gone, God is really teaching me more charity." At that point I thought I'd have more time to work on myself and work on my mom. And that God would have more time to work on my mom. But that is not what happened. The timing was truly unexpected, but at least we had this good conversation right before the end"
We must always have Faith and Hope, know too that God's timing is most perfect. He can give grace in an instant, with her very last breath, He could have revealed much, and she, I believe, accepted His will. Prayers are never wasted, keep praying, never give up! I know you won't because it is your nature to be determined.
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Someone responded to my statement about this happening on a forum shortly afterward that, "May our prayers now have saved him then..." That's helped me a lot. I learned of this at 10 minutes to midnight on April 21st, 2008, my grandfather, my father's father called me and told me. He'd received a visit from the police telling him what had happened.
I proceeded to stay up the rest of the night praying the Rosary. I can only hope that there was an intercession before the final act. And I can only continue to remember him in my prayers for the rest of my life.
My FIL said, "You know he's at peace now?" I said, "No!" I wish I hadn't been forced to talk to and tell people over the phone in the days that followed. I had every right to have at least a few days to not have to listen to people's hollow feel-better talk. I know that FIL meant "well" and he really is and was ill-equipped to offer any spiritual insight or wisdom, but that really frustrated me.
There was no funeral for my father and he was cremated. The whole thing was awful and ugly and horribly painful. My poor grandfather had just lost his wife (my grandmother) 2 months before this, after 68 years of marriage. Then 18 months later, his other son died of, I think, a drug overdose. There were no funerals for any of them .. all were cremated.
A life without faith, without hope, is empty, tragic and devastating.
I wish you well with your mourning of the loss of your mother and in such a terrible way. I don't know if you have siblings or a family of your own. But this loss will continue to color many relationships and things you experience in the future. Not only will any children you have, or children your siblings have be without a grandparent, but all will have to know and carry of the burden of knowing how she died. I can see why people kept this type of thing secret in the past. It's a terrible thing to have to walk this life with.
God Bless you and Pray Without Ceasing
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MrsZ, there are no words to console you, except to know that you truly are not alone.
I remember hearing this little story, could be that others heard it too: This wife was crying to her priest about how her husband jumped to his death, and she was not tormented with images of his fate. He told her to pray for his soul and remember that between the time he jumped and passed into eternity, God is there administering His saving grace.
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Thanks for the encouragement, Myrna. You don't have to worry about me because my faith is everything to me and it puts everything into perspective. But I do need prayers.
MrsZ said:
I can see why people kept this type of thing secret in the past. It's a terrible thing to have to walk this life with.
I do, or at least did, feel like there is a kind of stigma on me. I found it hard to go to Church on Sunday after it happened because I thought everyone would know, and that instead of being myself I would become "the guy whose mother killed herself." But at Church, at least, the people knew how to handle it and didn't treat me any differently. Maybe if I was dating a girl her family would be bothered but I'm not in that situation, nor am I going to be, so...
But I will tell you, I had always been planning to eventually go to France, and that idea sounds more and more tempting now, just to make a clean break.
MrsZ said:
My FIL said, "You know he's at peace now?" I said, "No!" I wish I hadn't been forced to talk to and tell people over the phone in the days that followed. I had every right to have at least a few days to not have to listen to people's hollow feel-better talk. I know that FIL meant "well" and he really is and was ill-equipped to offer any spiritual insight or wisdom, but that really frustrated me.
I find the best way to deal with that is to just be all-business. Even real-estate agents will say "I'm so sorry for your loss" and do that routine. I just say "Thanks" in a flat tone and make it clear that I want to move on, and they are only too happy to oblige.
"She's in a better place" or "She's with her friends now" are some of the whoppers I've heard. Even the Catholics, meaning modern Catholics, don't seem to think ѕυιcιdє is any biggie. "Mortal sin" is a concept apparently unknown to them, as is "purgatory." They live in la-la hand where everyone floats instantly to heaven because God is nice and sweet ( which is true, except if someone rejects Him by refusing to do His will, why should they go to heaven? ) It's hard because I'm in one universe and they're in another; they are telling themselves fantasies while I'm dealing with reality.
My real hope, of course, is not that she floated off to Shangri-La instantly but that her mental illness negated the sin of ѕυιcιdє entirely, or else that she repented before death. But that sounds harsh and medieval to others.
MrsZ said:
There was no funeral for my father and he was cremated.
Oh yeah, and almost none of the NO Catholics think anything is wrong with that either.
MrsZ said:
I don't know if you have siblings or a family of your own.
No siblings, almost no family. I have gotten back into contact with my dad who I haven't talked to for fifteen years. He has made a shocking transformation from atheist to full-blown Novus Ordo, to the point that he is friends with the "priest," he serves at the "altar," etc.
But I do have some good friends, like Alex on this site, who is like my sister at this point. And I have all these people praying for me which I'm sure is having its effect, because I am not suffering as much as I was expecting.