I'm scared of vows, too. My mom made one to say the rosary daily before I was even born, but years later she was in an accident and got brain damage (that wasn't apparent for a few years). She was definitely unable to complete it. So I did it for her to help complete her vow, which was considered specious or even superstitious, but she's my mom. (My priest said it was unnecessary, but
her priest said it was a lack of faith on my part. I didn't think it could
hurt since she was unable). Mom had been so strict about fulfilling vows that I just did the rosary using her name, with intentions I thought she might have. On days where I was sick (flu, etc), I'd ask other family members to pray the rosary in Mom's name. It was such an ordeal that I've never vowed anything except remembering my Baptism, and Marriage. I say daily prayers for graces and partial indulgences with
the 1910 Indulgences (PDF format that I saved to my hard drive and to Google Drive — I figure it's good to litter Google servers with
something holy! Pictures, too.)
Mostly I try to commute plenaries to souls in Purgatory, esp those like Mom and other people I know personally (or who I know have passed from FB or here). I tell the priest of my intention to commute the indulgence, and then try to gain the indulgence. (Staying away from venials is a problem for me, so I have to set it up where there's not much time for me to sin before I gain the indulgence.) I have to have faith that when I've gone to my eternal rest, others will do the same for me. Probably
way better than I do them.
If I've really bunged up, I go to Confession asap. Once the priest said I should do a plenary, so I did. But really I feel like I'm cheating someone in Purgatory out of a helping hand if I focus on my own (much needed) purgation too much.
Oh, I particularly enjoy visiting the graveyard Nov 1-8 and praying for those there, cleaning up their graves, making sure there are flowers; etc. There used to be a bunch of people doing the November graves, but now I'm pretty much the only one, me and the children. I find it very sad. They must not teach that in NO parishes much.