Iuvenalis: Be very careful. to be so overwhelmed can lead to physical ailments. I have a friend who went into fibromyaglia (sp) the pain that hurts all over. But let me tell you what led up to it.
There was a group of women, about 5, and me being one of them, here in Phoenix during 1987- 1995. We were serving a mormon governor who wanted to know who was bringing sex education into the state when it was against state law. Of this group of women, one was mormon, 3 being catholic and another protestant. I was New Order at the time. We were on a mission and we took time working on it. I read the Federal Grants and testified a few times a the capitol. I did research as well to find "the" Enemy. One lady was on the school board and she had tons of reading material that surrounded her 2,000 sq. ft. home. The material was in file cabinets, and old dresser drawers as well as in the garage!! Another prayed at a 4 story business building, with abortion clinics on each floor. Continue to read, for this is important to what you are going through and many like yourself.
So, we as a group went to public meetings such as United Way and others to find the enemy. Research, testifying. The President of the Dept. of Health was pro-life and he had us testify against his own and we won. that is 1 million $ did not go for more visits for pregnant women to make a better outcome baby, because it doesn't work and besides the $ was not for that purpose, it was for abortion, hidden.
As a mother, wife and homeschooler in 1992, it was wearing me down, that is, the womens group. It wore me down because the woes of the world were true, but us women were finding out that we were not really changing the world to better, but it was harming our families bringing home the woes to the nest. I was wondering how I could manage these woes. I phoned my friends, family and etc of the horrible things happening and their answer was, "And what can anyone do about it?" That was a great question that I could not answer.
Then one day, after all the research our group found the Enemy. It was the New Order Church, at the root of it all. The New Order was doing the agenda of the Federal gov't, and being paid $ highly for brining in KAB, Knowledge, Attitude, Behavior changes which is a communistic scheme of all immoralities. I had proof that all of New Order were paying into abortion, delivering it and pushing it. When the women saw the proof, the group broke up. I took all the proof to a priest I knew would believe me, an independent priest. He had the little black book of names of victims of the New Order and those who were the ones who hurt the victims of immorality. Our family, finally left the New Order for traditional in 1996. Thank God! For the first time I started to feel at peace. I knew that God was in control and I was starting to put the puzzles together. My woes were still there, BUT, I was at peace, for I knew that it was the power of the Precious Blood that brings peace. As we lose the Precious Blood, the world becomes cold hearted and more evil prevails. The bible says, that these woes are to be expected. So, we do as God wants us to do, penance, receive the sacraments as we can and many rosaries as Our Lady has asked of us.
As for the other women of the group? One went into fibromyalga (sp) soon after the break, she cried for 2 weeks knowing the truth of the enemy(she was catholic, New Order, and never went traditional) The other catholic woman who prayed at the abortion clinics, catholic new order, went to prozac, and the others I don't know about.
In these times, we must look at St Paul, I think, for he was in prisoned and ship wrecked and on and on goes his stories, But, he told the world in the bible that he was at peace. That is the peace we have need of.
So, pray for that peace, knowing that God is in control. I have seen people of the New Order(not you) harp at me to return to the testyfing and to go to tea parties thinking that is where we go to get things back on track, and yet we are at a point where things of the world are too far gone that God must put things back in order. It is true that we had our saints and such, but our times are in need of the Precious Blood that dwindles. Chapter 12 of Daniel says that the continual sacrifice will come to an end. So, just know these things and maybe you won't get like some of these women. When I speak like this, some people get the idea that I gave up. No such thing. Some people think that the control is at the legislature. It all begins with Christ Church and then all else can fall into place. If Christ's Church is going as Chapter 12 of Daniel states, then we do as God has asked of us and we wait for Him.