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Author Topic: Post Lawyer jokes here  (Read 879 times)

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Offline graceseeker

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Post Lawyer jokes here
« on: November 29, 2017, 02:21:16 PM »
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  • here's one

    A lawyer was visited by Satan who promised that if he sold his soul to him, he would be wealthy, have a beautiful wife who would never leave him and all his cases would be successes.

    The lawyer said "Yeh, but what' the catch?"


    Offline klasG4e

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    Re: Post Lawyer jokes here
    « Reply #1 on: November 29, 2017, 06:26:35 PM »
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  • Lawyers are easy targets, but here are some that kept their eye on heaven:



    Offline graceseeker

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    Re: Post Lawyer jokes here
    « Reply #3 on: November 30, 2017, 11:16:59 AM »
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  • A lawyer arrives at the Pearly Gates where there is a very long line of people waiting to be let in. The angel guarding the gate goes to the back of the line where th lawyer is. The lawyer says, "What's so special about me that you left the front of the line?"

    The angel said

    Well, I have counted up all the hours you billed people for your services. According to my numbers, you must  be 190 years old.

    Offline klasG4e

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    Offline Neil Obstat

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    Re: Post Lawyer jokes here
    « Reply #5 on: November 30, 2017, 12:15:26 PM »
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  • .
    Problematic sainthood!

    Quote



    .--. .-.-.- ... .-.-.- ..-. --- .-. - .... . -.- .. -. --. -.. --- -- --..-- - .... . .--. --- .-- . .-. .- -. -.. -....- -....- .--- ..- ... - -.- .. -.. -.. .. -. --. .-.-.

    Offline klasG4e

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    Re: Post Lawyer jokes here
    « Reply #6 on: November 30, 2017, 12:23:32 PM »
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  • Understatement!

    Offline graceseeker

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    Re: Post Lawyer jokes here
    « Reply #7 on: December 01, 2017, 04:52:01 PM »
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  • yeh but... the key word here would seem to be "joke"

    don't be like a liberal, no sense of humor


    Offline Nadir

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    Re: Post Lawyer jokes here
    « Reply #8 on: December 01, 2017, 05:12:09 PM »
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  • It's no joke that Escriva was "sainted"! or maybe a bad joke.
    Help of Christians, guard our land from assault or inward stain,
    Let it be what God has planned, His new Eden where You reign.

    Offline graceseeker

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    Re: Post Lawyer jokes here
    « Reply #9 on: December 06, 2017, 04:50:16 PM »
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  • I like St Thomas More

    my favorite lawyer

    Napalitano comes in a close 2nd, or maybe tie...

    Offline graceseeker

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    Re: Post Lawyer jokes here
    « Reply #10 on: December 06, 2017, 04:52:54 PM »
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  • Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?
     A: A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.


    Offline graceseeker

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    Re: Post Lawyer jokes here
    « Reply #11 on: December 06, 2017, 04:55:59 PM »
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  • Q: What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?
     A: One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

    Offline klasG4e

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    Re: Post Lawyer jokes here
    « Reply #12 on: December 06, 2017, 06:50:24 PM »
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  • Q: What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?
     A: One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.


    What's the difference between a non-lawyer and a lawyer?  None!  We are all sinners who fall way short of the mark.

    Offline DirigeNos

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    Re: Post Lawyer jokes here
    « Reply #13 on: December 06, 2017, 07:02:05 PM »
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  • Friend to a friend: "Have you found someone to represent you in that lawsuit yet?" - "You wouldn't believe it! I had to sit with three law firms and tell my story each time. But I finally found a good one!" - "No kidding. Which one did you retain?" - "I'm real confident about it. They seemed very knowledgeable. The law offices of Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe."

    Offline TKGS

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    Re: Post Lawyer jokes here
    « Reply #14 on: December 06, 2017, 07:12:34 PM »
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  • Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer?
             A: Chelsea Clinton