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Traditional Catholic Faith => General Discussion => Topic started by: graceseeker on November 29, 2017, 02:21:16 PM

Title: Post Lawyer jokes here
Post by: graceseeker on November 29, 2017, 02:21:16 PM
here's one

A lawyer was visited by Satan who promised that if he sold his soul to him, he would be wealthy, have a beautiful wife who would never leave him and all his cases would be successes.

The lawyer said "Yeh, but what' the catch?"
Title: Re: Post Lawyer jokes here
Post by: klasG4e on November 29, 2017, 06:26:35 PM


Lawyers are easy targets, but here are some that kept their eye on heaven:
Title: Re: Post Lawyer jokes here
Post by: graceseeker on November 30, 2017, 11:09:37 AM
Quote from: klasG4e on November 29, 2017, 06:26:35 PM

Lawyers are easy targets, but here are some that kept their eye on heaven:
  • Blessed Anacleto González Flores (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-anacleto-gonzalez-flores/)
  • Blessed Angelo Carletti (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-angelo-carletti/)
  • Blessed Antoine-Frédéric  (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-antoine-frederic-ozanam/)
  • Blessed Nazju Falzon (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-nazju-falzon/)
  • Blessed Paul Burali d’Arezzo (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-paul-burali-darezzo/)
  • Blessed Paul of Wallachia (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-paul-of-wallachia/)
  • Blessed Peter de Geremia (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-peter-de-geremia/)
  • Blessed Pierre de Barellis (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-pierre-de-barellis/)
  • Blessed Pietro of Gubbio (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-pietro-of-gubbio/)
  • Blessed Pope Innocent XI (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-pope-innocent-xi/)
  • Blessed William Scott (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-william-scott/)
  • Saint Alphonsus Maria de Liguori (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-alphonsus-maria-de-liguori/)
  • Saint Amphilochius of Iconium (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-amphilochius-of-iconium/)
  • Saint Andrew Avellino (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-andrew-avellino/)
  • Saint Aprus of Toul (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-aprus-of-toul/)
  • Saint Bernadine Realino (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-bernadine-realino/)
  • Saint Bertrand of Aquileia (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-bertrand-of-aquileia/)
  • Saint Charles Borromeo (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-charles-borromeo/)
  • Saint Fidelis of Sigmaringen (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-fidelis-of-sigmaringen/)
  • Saint Francis de Sales (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-francis-de-sales/)
  • Saint Germanus of Auxerre (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-germanus-of-auxerre/)
  • Saint Gregory Barbarigo (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-gregory-barbarigo/)
  • Saint Ivo of Kermartin (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-ivo-of-kermartin/)
  • Saint James of the Marches (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-james-of-the-marches/)
  • Saint Jerome (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-jerome/)
Are those all lawyers?
Title: Re: Post Lawyer jokes here
Post by: graceseeker on November 30, 2017, 11:16:59 AM
A lawyer arrives at the Pearly Gates where there is a very long line of people waiting to be let in. The angel guarding the gate goes to the back of the line where th lawyer is. The lawyer says, "What's so special about me that you left the front of the line?"

The angel said

Well, I have counted up all the hours you billed people for your services. According to my numbers, you must  be 190 years old.
Title: Re: Post Lawyer jokes here
Post by: klasG4e on November 30, 2017, 12:12:39 PM
Quote from: graceseeker on November 30, 2017, 11:09:37 AM
Are those all lawyers?
(https://catholicsaints.info/saints-who-were-lawyers/)
(https://catholicsaints.info/saints-who-were-lawyers/)
https://catholicsaints.info/saints-who-were-lawyers/ (https://catholicsaints.info/saints-who-were-lawyers/)
Title: Re: Post Lawyer jokes here
Post by: Neil Obstat on November 30, 2017, 12:15:26 PM
.
Problematic sainthood!

Quote
  • Saint Josemaria Escriva (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-josemaria-escriva/)



Title: Re: Post Lawyer jokes here
Post by: klasG4e on November 30, 2017, 12:23:32 PM
Understatement!
Title: Re: Post Lawyer jokes here
Post by: graceseeker on December 01, 2017, 04:52:01 PM
yeh but... the key word here would seem to be "joke"

don't be like a liberal, no sense of humor
Title: Re: Post Lawyer jokes here
Post by: Nadir on December 01, 2017, 05:12:09 PM
It's no joke that Escriva was "sainted"! or maybe a bad joke.
Title: Re: Post Lawyer jokes here
Post by: graceseeker on December 06, 2017, 04:50:16 PM
I like St Thomas More

my favorite lawyer

Napalitano comes in a close 2nd, or maybe tie...
Title: Re: Post Lawyer jokes here
Post by: graceseeker on December 06, 2017, 04:52:54 PM
Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?
 A: A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
Title: Re: Post Lawyer jokes here
Post by: graceseeker on December 06, 2017, 04:55:59 PM
Q: What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?
 A: One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
Title: Re: Post Lawyer jokes here
Post by: klasG4e on December 06, 2017, 06:50:24 PM
Quote from: graceseeker on December 06, 2017, 04:55:59 PM
Q: What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?
 A: One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.


What's the difference between a non-lawyer and a lawyer?  None!  We are all sinners who fall way short of the mark.
Title: Re: Post Lawyer jokes here
Post by: DirigeNos on December 06, 2017, 07:02:05 PM
Friend to a friend: "Have you found someone to represent you in that lawsuit yet?" - "You wouldn't believe it! I had to sit with three law firms and tell my story each time. But I finally found a good one!" - "No kidding. Which one did you retain?" - "I'm real confident about it. They seemed very knowledgeable. The law offices of Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe."
Title: Re: Post Lawyer jokes here
Post by: TKGS on December 06, 2017, 07:12:34 PM
Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer?
         A: Chelsea Clinton
Title: Re: Post Lawyer jokes here
Post by: klasG4e on December 07, 2017, 11:30:41 AM
Societies generally get the lawyers they deserve. Ha, ha!  America is certainly no exception.  Ha, ha!  Neither was the sick Jєωιѕн nation at the time of Christ when most of it's members including their leaders rejected the Messiah.  No ha, ha!