Catholic Info
Traditional Catholic Faith => General Discussion => Topic started by: graceseeker on November 29, 2017, 02:21:16 PM
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here's one
A lawyer was visited by Satan who promised that if he sold his soul to him, he would be wealthy, have a beautiful wife who would never leave him and all his cases would be successes.
The lawyer said "Yeh, but what' the catch?"
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Lawyers are easy targets, but here are some that kept their eye on heaven:
- Blessed Anacleto González Flores (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-anacleto-gonzalez-flores/)
- Blessed Angelo Carletti (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-angelo-carletti/)
- Blessed Antoine-Frédéric Ozanam (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-antoine-frederic-ozanam/)
- Blessed Antonio Franco (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-antonio-franco/)
- Blessed Augustine Novello (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-augustine-novello/)
- Blessed Bartholomew Longo (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-bartholomew-longo/)
- Blessed Bernardine of Fossa (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-bernardine-of-fossa/)
- Blessed Charles Steeb (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-charles-steeb/)
- Blessed Contardo Ferrini (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-contardo-ferrini/)
- Blessed Demosthenes Ranzi (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-demosthenes-ranzi/)
- Blessed Dermot O’Hurley (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-dermot-ohurley/)
- Blessed Gennaro Maria Sarnelli (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-gennaro-maria-sarnelli/)
- Blessed Giacomo Villa (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-giacomo-villa/)
- Blessed Giuseppe Antonio Tovini (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-giuseppe-antonio-tovini/)
- Blessed Henry of Segusio (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-henry-of-segusio/)
- Blessed Humbert of Romans (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-humbert-of-romans/)
- Blessed Jacopone da Todi (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-jacopone-da-todi/)
- Blessed James the Almsgiver (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-james-the-almsgiver/)
- Blessed Jean of Hainaut (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-jean-of-hainaut/)
- Blessed John of Vercelli (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-john-of-vercelli/)
- Blessed John Storey (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-john-storey/)
- Blessed José Perpiñá Nácher (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-jose-perpina-nacher/)
- Blessed Luigi Beltrame Quattrocchi (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-luigi-beltrame-quattrocchi/)
- Blessed Manuel Basulto Jiménez (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-manuel-basulto-jimenez/)
- Blessed Marcelo Spínola y Maestre (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-marcelo-spinola-y-maestre/)
- Blessed Mark Fantucci (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-mark-fantucci/)
- Blessed Nazju Falzon (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-nazju-falzon/)
- Blessed Paul Burali d’Arezzo (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-paul-burali-darezzo/)
- Blessed Paul of Wallachia (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-paul-of-wallachia/)
- Blessed Peter de Geremia (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-peter-de-geremia/)
- Blessed Pierre de Barellis (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-pierre-de-barellis/)
- Blessed Pietro of Gubbio (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-pietro-of-gubbio/)
- Blessed Pope Innocent XI (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-pope-innocent-xi/)
- Blessed William Scott (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-william-scott/)
- Saint Alphonsus Maria de Liguori (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-alphonsus-maria-de-liguori/)
- Saint Amphilochius of Iconium (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-amphilochius-of-iconium/)
- Saint Andrew Avellino (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-andrew-avellino/)
- Saint Aprus of Toul (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-aprus-of-toul/)
- Saint Bernadine Realino (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-bernadine-realino/)
- Saint Bertrand of Aquileia (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-bertrand-of-aquileia/)
- Saint Charles Borromeo (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-charles-borromeo/)
- Saint Fidelis of Sigmaringen (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-fidelis-of-sigmaringen/)
- Saint Francis de Sales (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-francis-de-sales/)
- Saint Germanus of Auxerre (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-germanus-of-auxerre/)
- Saint Gregory Barbarigo (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-gregory-barbarigo/)
- Saint Ivo of Kermartin (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-ivo-of-kermartin/)
- Saint James of the Marches (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-james-of-the-marches/)
- Saint Jerome (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-jerome/)
- Saint John Houghton (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-john-houghton/)
- Saint John of Avila (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-john-of-avila/)
- Saint John of Capistrano (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-john-of-capistrano/)
- Saint Josemaria Escriva (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-josemaria-escriva/)
- Saint Liphardus of Orleans (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-liphardus-of-orleans/)
- Saint Paulinus of Nola (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-paulinus-of-nola/)
- Saint Philogonius of Antioch (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-philogonius-of-antioch/)
- Saint Raymond of Penyafort (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-raymond-of-penyafort/)
- Saint Richard of Chichester (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-richard-of-chichester/)
- Saint Salvius of Albi (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-salvius-of-albi/)
- Saint Satyrus of Milan (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-satyrus-of-milan/)
- Saint Sylvester Gozzolini (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-sylvester-gozzolini/)
- Saint Theophilus the Lawyer (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-theophilus-the-lawyer/)
- Saint Thomas a Becket (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-thomas-a-becket/)
- Saint Thomas More (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-thomas-more/)
- Saint Tryphillius of Leucosia (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-tryphillius-of-leucosia/)
- Saint Turibius of Mogroveio (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-turibius-of-mogroveio/)
- Venerable Cesare Baronio (https://catholicsaints.info/venerable-cesare-baronio/)
- Venerable Luis de Trelles y Nogerol (https://catholicsaints.info/venerable-luis-de-trelles-y-nogerol/)
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Lawyers are easy targets, but here are some that kept their eye on heaven:
- Blessed Anacleto González Flores (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-anacleto-gonzalez-flores/)
- Blessed Angelo Carletti (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-angelo-carletti/)
- Blessed Antoine-Frédéric (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-antoine-frederic-ozanam/)
- Blessed Nazju Falzon (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-nazju-falzon/)
- Blessed Paul Burali d’Arezzo (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-paul-burali-darezzo/)
- Blessed Paul of Wallachia (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-paul-of-wallachia/)
- Blessed Peter de Geremia (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-peter-de-geremia/)
- Blessed Pierre de Barellis (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-pierre-de-barellis/)
- Blessed Pietro of Gubbio (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-pietro-of-gubbio/)
- Blessed Pope Innocent XI (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-pope-innocent-xi/)
- Blessed William Scott (https://catholicsaints.info/blessed-william-scott/)
- Saint Alphonsus Maria de Liguori (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-alphonsus-maria-de-liguori/)
- Saint Amphilochius of Iconium (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-amphilochius-of-iconium/)
- Saint Andrew Avellino (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-andrew-avellino/)
- Saint Aprus of Toul (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-aprus-of-toul/)
- Saint Bernadine Realino (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-bernadine-realino/)
- Saint Bertrand of Aquileia (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-bertrand-of-aquileia/)
- Saint Charles Borromeo (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-charles-borromeo/)
- Saint Fidelis of Sigmaringen (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-fidelis-of-sigmaringen/)
- Saint Francis de Sales (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-francis-de-sales/)
- Saint Germanus of Auxerre (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-germanus-of-auxerre/)
- Saint Gregory Barbarigo (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-gregory-barbarigo/)
- Saint Ivo of Kermartin (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-ivo-of-kermartin/)
- Saint James of the Marches (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-james-of-the-marches/)
- Saint Jerome (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-jerome/)
Are those all lawyers?
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A lawyer arrives at the Pearly Gates where there is a very long line of people waiting to be let in. The angel guarding the gate goes to the back of the line where th lawyer is. The lawyer says, "What's so special about me that you left the front of the line?"
The angel said
Well, I have counted up all the hours you billed people for your services. According to my numbers, you must be 190 years old.
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Are those all lawyers?
(https://catholicsaints.info/saints-who-were-lawyers/)
(https://catholicsaints.info/saints-who-were-lawyers/)
https://catholicsaints.info/saints-who-were-lawyers/ (https://catholicsaints.info/saints-who-were-lawyers/)
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Problematic sainthood!
- Saint Josemaria Escriva (https://catholicsaints.info/saint-josemaria-escriva/)
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Understatement!
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yeh but... the key word here would seem to be "joke"
don't be like a liberal, no sense of humor
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It's no joke that Escriva was "sainted"! or maybe a bad joke.
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I like St Thomas More
my favorite lawyer
Napalitano comes in a close 2nd, or maybe tie...
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Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?
A: A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Q: What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?
A: One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Q: What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?
A: One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
What's the difference between a non-lawyer and a lawyer? None! We are all sinners who fall way short of the mark.
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Friend to a friend: "Have you found someone to represent you in that lawsuit yet?" - "You wouldn't believe it! I had to sit with three law firms and tell my story each time. But I finally found a good one!" - "No kidding. Which one did you retain?" - "I'm real confident about it. They seemed very knowledgeable. The law offices of Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe."
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Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer?
A: Chelsea Clinton
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Societies generally get the lawyers they deserve. Ha, ha! America is certainly no exception. Ha, ha! Neither was the sick Jєωιѕн nation at the time of Christ when most of it's members including their leaders rejected the Messiah. No ha, ha!