(Though I hate the falsities of 'left' and 'right', this was rather funny)

To  All My Left Wing, Politically Correct Friends:
Please  accept with no obligation, implied or explicit, my best wishes for
an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress,
non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the summer/winter solstice holiday,
practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of
your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the  
religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to
practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally
 successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition
of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2012, but not without
due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose
contributions to society have helped make Canada and the United States great nations.
Not to imply that these two countries are necessarily greater  than any
other country in the world. Also, this wish is made without regard to the
race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or gender preference
of the wishee.
 
To My Right-wing Friends:
 
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!