Oh we actually went over this in one of my college psychology courses!

According to Piaget children of that stage are best dealt with in positive immediate reinforcement. Which means that you should punish quickly after the transaction by making them do something (like stand in the corner) or by giving a spanking.

I hope that is of some help. I don't have any kids, but that's what the text book says about it.

The best thing I can say (and God help me become better at it) is BE CONSISTENT.

Whatever you decide to do, no if, ands, or buts, about it, FOLLOW THROUGH. Do what you say you'll do, and make a proper punishment for whatever was done and be consistent about it.

Also, do not take out your anger on your children: it leads to abuse. Sometimes, if you're really angry about something, you have to take a few minutes to "cool down" so that you can go in without a hot head when you're disciplining.

My father taught me this. He was beaten when he was a boy. He was the second child, and the only boy between five girls, until the next six came along. He ended up having 7 sisters and four brothers. He would get blamed for practically EVERYTHING. He remembers 5 girls sitting on him holding him down while his mother beat the living snot out of him, usually with a belt. And sometimes, he would even get beat again when his father came home.

When he disciplined us (if he ended up having to because my mother would tell him if we did certain things. One of the no-no's was do not backsass your mother. If you did, you got the wrath of dad) he would send us to his room, looking at us straight in the eyes, at our level, and would say, "Go to my room." You wouldn't walk there, you would run, and you would wait there for five minutes. He would show up, and calmly proceed to smack you (sometimes, if the offense was bad enough, on the bare hinder) with a belt (most of the time) THREE TIMES, and no more.

Being enraged when you discipline is not only unhealthy for you, but it's very bad for the children. Don't discipline when you're angry. My father never ever ever beat us, because he remember what it was like when he was beaten, and vowed never to do it.

I still think I have the best dad in the world. Please pray for him. He's 59, and in a wheelchair. This week he got the wheelchair, after several painful years of tolerating walking. He has very bad neuropathy in his legs (meaning, they're basically dead), to the point he can barely stand for a few moments.

If you wait until the child is 6, you may as well prepare to move out. They will rule. My favorite person for parenting advice is Dr.Ray Guerendi of Kidbrat.com
Parents is correct it is being consistent that gets the job done. However, when you are in the trenches, under attack from all sides, it is difficult. Still keep trying, you will see that it works.]
I also point out to them that what ever it is they want, and there is ALWAYS something they want,they will not get until I get what I want. Whatever it is, make your bed, do your math, brush your teeth. I have told them that all they need is food and shelter the rest is optional. If they want treats I want good behaviour or else I will swat.
I got a really neat chart from Rita Davis of Little Flower Apostolate. It is called the "If-Then Chart." I hung it up, and the children know exactly what happens if they misbehave.
As far as an apology. Yes, I make them all say sorry. And, most of the time they are not truly sorry about anything until they reach about 8 years old or so. But, still it is training them.
Bottom line is that my priest told me to stop beating around the bush. The children deserve to know the truth. If they disobey mom and dad, they are not following God's commandment and they do risk eternal damnation.

Oh the hugs thing is important too. That's something else I didn't mention. My dad used to wait a while and then say he loved us and gave us big hugs, to reinforce that he didn't want to spank us, but that he had a duty to do it.

 :smile:

I forgot to say I would pray for your father Parents. What a story that is. He has suffered in his life.

Thanks, I really appreciate it, and if he knew you were, he would as well.