People don't know the difference between spanking and whipping and beating.
What would be a prudent definition for Catholics?
A leather strap? A razor belt? A hickory switch? Leave welts? Leave bruises? Open skin?
Such a hard question.
I don't think its right for a parent to hit their child so hard as to ever leave any sort of real mark, apart from normal redness which comes from a spanking. Bruises on a child that easily bruieses is okay, but to have a 'goal' when spanking children as to how much 'damage' to leave is not the best goal. I think a child being spanked by their parents should be more humiliated/ashamed of the fact (at least I was) that they were receiving a spanking than the fact that there was pain.
The lesson should be in spanking that, yes there is some pain associated, but (subconsciously?) that you've done something so seriously wrong that your own parents, who you instinctively know would protect you from
any harm, have recognized such a great error on your part, that they are obliged to now punish you in the 'worst' way (because, who likes to get spanked).
I think I can remember 2 types of reasons when my parents would spank me.
The first type of time would be when I did something which warranted an immediate correction; speaking back, using a bad word, and, now that I think about it, it would usually be something which I would do almost 'instinctively', or without much thought. The reaction/punishment which would follow, would be just as 'instinctive'/ immediately reactionary. I'd get a slap on the mouth/ cheek, a spank on the but with what ever was immediately available (a sandal/shoe would work if there was enough time), etc.
The second type of punishment would function very much in the same way as the first; it would have to relate to how thought out the 'crime' was. So, for example, getting a bad grade(s) was prime (because in America, you have to work at getting a bad grade).
Another example, was when I was about 11 years old, computers just started to become commonplace, and what was in, and I was trying to log on to "AOL". We wouldn't you know you needed a credit card, and my mom's purse was sitting right there. Yep- I did it- I put her credit card information in, and logged on for about 2 minutes, then was so scared, that I logged out and forgot about it for about 4 months. Apparently the end of that 4 months was about the time my mother recognized the charge on her credit card statement. She came home that day and was icy-cold mad. I was scared, because I thought everything was dandy! She said, "you wait till your father comes home." I was dead! I thought.
My dad came home, sat me in my room, explained what I'd done, how upset my parents were, then gave me about 5 good ones with the belt. And that's the point. Things like grades, and my scenario above, are more thought out than reactionary sins (like talking back, etc). When the punishment would come, it wouldn't just be a spanking- that would be useless. I would get an explanation of what I'd done wrong, why it was wrong, and why the punishment would fit (Spanking and someother type of punishment-which lasted longer- would be explained). I think that was a good method, and will probably do the same with my children.