IF, thanks for confiding in the crazy trads on CI.
Ain't that the truth! Thanks for your trust, IF.
Keep in mind that acknowledging the problem is half the battle, and your humility to admit this and seek prayer from others for strength is very holy.
Here's my .02, for what it's worth:
1. Most important: If you think you are in a state of mortal sin, find a priest immediately if possible. Do not "wait until Saturday" for confession unless a priest is not available until then. Your eternal soul is in jeopardy. I notice you mentioned you could call your priest - do so and discuss this situation in depth asap. This holy sacrament is one of the greatest gifts! If you need motivation to go to confession, read about the Four Last Things.
2. When I feel myself tempted into serious sin, or to endure suffering, I must go to a crucifix immediately (or, if not at home, gaze at the one on my rosary, or a wallet picture of the Shroud). I remind myself of what He endured for me, and pray "I can do anything for You". Which sounds and IS preposterous, because I am weak and a failure, but when I do this, He gives me instant and incomparable strength, and then great peace. Temptation gone.
Of course, you have only to ask for prayer and your many friends here on the forum will do so, my friend.