I have made some changes recently in my life, and am still struggling to see the Lord. I have been in a dry spell for sometime now, and a little worried. I quite smoking for almost 2 years, and then started up about 1.5 years ago, and have been battling with it off and on since. I have quit numerous times during this time frame only to start up again within a month. I noticed when I was smoking, I wasn't seeing the Lord that much in my life. I saw glimpses here and there but it wasn't enough. As they say, one thing leads to another, and that is so true. I lost my zeal, I began giving into lustful thoughts a lot more, I began falling into mortal sin a lot more, etc. Now I have quit smoking again, and it has been almost 3 weeks this time. I think this time around I am gonna quit for good. I keep telling myself that this is not good enough, and I need to stop completely this time. if I decide to have that 1 cigarette then I know I will fall right back into smoking a pack a day. So I am making a huge push this time. I have noticed it is a little easier to resist lustful thoughts but I struggle a bit still. I will say I am doing a lot better, but the temptation is harder to resist than before. The way I am looking at all of this is that it was a big learning experience. We must avoid even the venial sins like smoking if we want to stay strong in the Faith. But I still have concern, and here is why. I feel like I am still in a dry spell, and I also feel like I am dealing with depression. I will say that I have accomplished some things over the past 6 months... I started running, I lost 30 pounds, etc. I am in the best shape of my life right now. Just the other day I ran 2 miles in 12:52. Even when I was in the Army I never did that well. But I am still feeling a bit depressed. I can't concentrate that well, and I'm just not the same mentally as I was over 2 years ago. As I have said in other threads, I have sensed that I have been being cyberstalked. This has certainly caused me a lot of anger. I have been dealing with a lot of anger for some time now because of my perceived cyberstalking. It gives me the sense that I am not in control of myself, and when I feel like I am not in control of myself I start feeling weak and helpless. I think that is what I am missing is that sense of manhood or personal power. I need that again. Through this dry spell....I have been praying the rosary a lot more often, and lately I have been reading the Bible. But I am still not experiencing the graces of the Lord like I used to. Anyways, I was hoping that maybe someone had some advice on this. A prayer would be nice as well. I just want to be strong in my belief, and experience the Lord in my life like I did some time ago. I want that back.