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Author Topic: Mortal sin, Spiritual Binge, Despair  (Read 840 times)

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Offline curiouscatholic23

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Mortal sin, Spiritual Binge, Despair
« on: September 02, 2011, 03:55:06 PM »
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  • In the last few years I have battled sins of the flesh and drunkeness even though I fully knew they will send me to hell. I know all there is to know about Vatican II, fatima, etc.....I even have enough knowledge to consider myself a sedevacantist.

    Usually what happens is I repeat a cycle. First, I feel horrible the days after, I think about how unworthy I am to be in God's presence and how my mortal sins were like nails being driven into Our Lord's hands on the cross. I think about God's infinite mercy just to allow me to still be alive and giving me the opportunity to confess. Then I confess the sin, do my penace. Then I get very religious because I fear being lukewarm- I look up videos on youtube (MHFM especially), I do all types of spiritual reading, I look up numerous saints. I then get very concerned about hell and how so many souls go there. I especially worry about my immediate family and friends, and I start thinking about ways to help convert them and explain to them the errors of Vatican II. Yet I still hold on to some of my old modern ways/bad companions/occasions of sin to lead me back into a mortal sin which starts the cycle all over again.

    Is this a combination of spirtiual pride/despair/devil creeping in? How do I advance to a more holy state where I can be more at peace and not obsess over lost souls? Where do you draw the line between a healthy concern for lost souls, and despair?


    Offline PereJoseph

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    Mortal sin, Spiritual Binge, Despair
    « Reply #1 on: September 02, 2011, 04:47:59 PM »
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  • Quote from: curiouscatholic23
    Yet I still hold on to some of my old modern ways/bad companions/occasions of sin to lead me back into a mortal sin which starts the cycle all over again.


    If you have a good priest who you trust, you should make an appointment with him for a confession so that he can have the necessary time to give you thorough advice.  If you are not concerned with him knowing these things outside of confession, however, perhaps speak with him outside of the sacramental seal if you think that would be more helpful.  That being said, do not be afraid to approach a priest with these problems since his entire purpose is to be a cure for souls, and, if you go to him regularly for the sacraments, specifically yours.

    That being said, a few general principles :  First, avoid all proximate occasions of sin.  To willingly subject yourself to a proximate occasion of sin -- that is, an occasion in which you are very much unsure of whether or not you will be able to avoid sin -- is a mortal sin in itself.  Proximate occasions of sin are different for different people.  If the computer or TV are often the things that lead you into sin and it is not morally safe for you to use either of these things privately, you have no business using them.  There is nothing that can be gained from either of them that is anywhere near the worth of your eternal soul.  If it is necessary, say for work, to use the computer, however, perhaps ask a discreet friend who you can trust to put a block on your computer and not tell you the password.  As for TV, it should be avoided anyway, since it is essentially dumping spiritual sewage into your home.  If neither of these things are a problem for you -- if you have already thrown out your TV and do not struggle with the things of the internet, -- the same principles apply to bad companions.  If a companion is one who you are confident will have a bad effect on you but you are not confident you can affect positively, this companion is dragging you into Hell and needs to be cut off.  No friendship is more valuable than your friendship with Our Lord.  And if this companion regularly leads you into sin and you know that, if you spend time with him, he will do it again, then it is a mortal sin to unnecessarily be in his company under the circuмstances in which he could lead you into sin -- say, drunkenness, binge drinking, dirty talk, watching bad movies, encouraging others to sin, tolerating fornication, and other things of that nature.  That is the general principle of avoiding occasions of sin.  If they are necessary occasions of sin, such as a police officer speaking with prostitutes and criminals and going to the seedier part of town, they are not sinful.  If they are unnecessary and are proximate to sin, it is sinful to expose oneself to them.

    I don't know your circuмstances and the occasions of sin for you -- only you know these things, -- but you can likely apply this principle to your situation.  Do not be afraid to be strict with yourself, either; the Sacred Heart wants to give you the gifts you need to finally gain entry to your true homeland of Heaven, where "eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither hath it entered into the heart of man, what things God hath prepared for them that love him" (I Cor. II, ix).

    Second, always fulfill your duty of state diligently.  Avoid idleness, which is a lesser occasion of sin by which the devil tries to ensnare us into more serious occasions of sin (see first principle).  Go to bed early, wake up early, like Christians have done since the most ancient times of our religion.  Live an ordered life and, after you wake up (early), do not turn on the TV, check your email, get coffee, etc., but pray to God in thanksgiving for preserving you through the night, since He could have easily done the opposite.  Then say your morning prayers and make your morning offering (renew this offering if you commit a deliberate venial sin later in the day) and, before anything else, write down the agenda of your soul for the day.  We only have so much time, and we should use it combatting our selves so that we might be dissolved in the Lord and not fall into the pit.  Remember :  You are baptised, and thus you are dead to this world, being claimed by the Great King, who wants to protect you in His service.  Your life, your true life, therefore, is secret in the Lord, and it exists in fulfilling your duty, in prayer, and in the sacraments.  All else is superfluous, including the esteem of false friends, the esteem of non-Catholic/heretical parents when it comes to questions of our souls, the self-esteem that comes from thinking that one is admirable or is engaging or participating in something special that places him at a privilege in comparison to others.  If this special behaviour or skill or event or knowledge or personality quirk that is so great and in which one takes so much pleasure in thinking that he is distinguished above those around him because of it is truly good and worthy of esteem, we can esteem it in a way that brings true humility to ourselves and increases our love of God, recognising that it was made by God in order to bring glory to Him and that, therefore, it does not belong to us.

    Now, I am just a layman in my early twenties, but I have had similar problems to you in my past life, and these are the lessons that helped me.  I hope that they will help you.  If you find them unhelpful, do not be afraid to ignore them, since they are nothing but the advice of an inexperienced, sinful layman.  I can say, however, that they come from the sermons of priests, from parish retreats, and from spiritual writers.  If they are truly helpful, remember that it is the means by which God is visiting you now and pray to Him for thanksgiving.  Take it as you will.  And, of course, if you still can, please go to a priest for counsel; giving medicine for these spiritual illnesses is his job.


    Offline ora pro me

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    Mortal sin, Spiritual Binge, Despair
    « Reply #2 on: September 03, 2011, 12:36:26 AM »
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  • CuriousCatholic, you have some excellent advice here from PereJoseph and since I'd be repeating much of what he says there, and since I just have a few minutes right now, I'd like to just add something (maybe he said it already, I'm not sure).

    Please be sure to always say your 3 Hail Marys in the morning with your morning offering and again at night with your examination of conscience and act of contrition.  Hopefully you have more time to say more prayers than that and I hope that you are MAKING the time to say the daily Rosary, but don't EVER EVER start your day without your 3 Hail Mary and don't ever go to bed without saying your 3 Hail Marys.  Your intention with the Hail Marys is to place yourselve under Mary's protection and beg Her help to avoid all sin and to pray for purity.  

    Tomorrow is First Saturday.  What a perfect time to start anew and get in the confession line and as Pere Joseph says, perhaps make an appointment for more time with the priest after confession.  Ask his advice on how often you should go to confession.  
    You have many friends here praying for you.  It wasn't easy for the saints either.  That's how they became saints.  God will give you whatever graces you need.  He will never allow you to have a temptation that cannot be overcome with the graces that He makes available to you.  You just need to use the opportunities for graces that He give you.  Pray.  Pray always.  

    ora pro me  

    Offline spouse of Jesus

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    Mortal sin, Spiritual Binge, Despair
    « Reply #3 on: September 03, 2011, 01:25:37 AM »
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  •   As a side note, not to disrupt the topic: getting dissolved in The Lord is not catholic idea. It is for charismatics and dervishes.
      God Bless.

    Offline PartyIsOver221

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    Mortal sin, Spiritual Binge, Despair
    « Reply #4 on: September 03, 2011, 06:24:06 AM »
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  • To the OP, I am the same as you I think. Sede, in my 20s, in a cycle of falling into sin and then to zealousness for the Faith, rinse repeat and tell myself to "get used to it" until my vocation realizes.


    Well I think the advice given here is a blessing, and thank you all posters for helping curiouscatholic out, as well as I, and other lurkers here. I recommend the 3 hail Marys in the morning and bedtime to "encapsulate" your soul with a petition to Mary for spiritual protection and purity. Rosary every day would be nice too, but sometimes my work schedule/exhaustion after coming home late prohibits me from saying anything but a ho-drum repetitious Rosary.. I rather be awake and do it with fervor, if you know what I mean.... and not in the car too as I find that to be disrespectful and distracting to Mary and a worthwhile prayer mindset.


    Keep it up curiouscatholic, go to confession, do the First Saturdays starting today , and just know you are God's child and He will not let you go as long as YOU DONT LET GO OF HIM.


    Offline Vladimir

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    Mortal sin, Spiritual Binge, Despair
    « Reply #5 on: September 03, 2011, 08:28:51 AM »
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  • Quote from:  Richard Challoner, Think Well On't
    1. Settle in thyself a firm resolution, on no account whatever, to consent to mortal sin. This resolution is the very foundation of a virtuous life: whosoever is not arrived thus far, has not yet begun to serve God. Without this resolution, it is in vain for any one to flatter himself with the hopes of living holily or dying happily.



    Offline PereJoseph

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    Mortal sin, Spiritual Binge, Despair
    « Reply #6 on: September 07, 2011, 05:12:59 PM »
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  • Quote from: spouse of Jesus
     As a side note, not to disrupt the topic: getting dissolved in The Lord is not catholic idea. It is for charismatics and dervishes.
      God Bless.


    I can see where you would get that idea, but I guess it depends on how one interprets it, since I am only paraphrasing the English translation of the prayer of Saint Bonaventure after Holy Communion : "Pierce, O most sweet Lord Jesus, my inmost soul with the most joyous and healthful wound of Thy love, and with true, calm and most holy apostolic charity, that my soul may ever languish and melt with entire love and longing for Thee, may yearn for Thee and for thy courts, may long to be dissolved and to be with Thee."