Author Topic: Moral theology question -- males and females sharing from same glass (Read 2148 times)

Raoul76 · « **on:** August 03, 2011, 09:54:29 PM »

Is it wrong for unmarried males and females to share the same glass, to put their lips to the same glass of iced tea, for instance? How about if one person sips from the glass, and another takes a taste through a straw?

I ask because I just did this at a restaurant ( the latter scenario, the woman tasted the beverage directly from the glass, I drank the rest using a straw ). It felt a little weird to me, but I have a history of being scrupulous so I just let it go. But I wonder what people think about it.

Raoul76 · « **Reply #1 on:** August 03, 2011, 10:02:25 PM »

I guess this is a silly question. Males and females used to drink from the same cup when the Church had communion in both species. Of course, they still do this in the Novus Ordo, but that doesn't count.

I guess it felt weird because I was nervous about some kind of flirtation that might have been happening under the surface. Which as far as I know, didn't happen.

Also, I said "unmarried" when I really meant not married to each other. But this woman is married. I am on my guard for obvious reasons, hanging around with a married woman. I'd say "overly on my guard" but then you really can't be overly on your guard in such cases, can you?

But that doesn't change the nature of my question about using the same cup! Anyway, she's a Prot, and I'm trying my best to set a good example for Catholics -- who she thinks are horrible sinners -- so I'm glad I didn't act out of scrupulosity if it wasn't necessary.

s2srea · « **Reply #2 on:** August 03, 2011, 11:57:08 PM »

Quote from: Raoul76

I guess it felt weird because I was nervous about some kind of flirtation that might have been happening under the surface. Which as far as I know, didn't happen.

Also, I said "unmarried" when I really meant not married to each other. But this woman is married. I am on my guard for obvious reasons, hanging around with a married woman. I'd say "overly on my guard" but then you really can't be overly on your guard in such cases, can you?

At first I was going to say, 'what's wrong with flirtation?'... then I read the next paragraph lol. I believe I understand your concern. I think you're right, the act itself is harmless my friend; you obviously weren't trying to insinuate that you were attempting to gather a greater meaning from it.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #3 on:** August 04, 2011, 12:08:35 AM »

Any act that could create the appearance or impression of intimacy and familiarity would be something avoid. For example, if a married woman holds your coffee for you while you sign something for her - it might look bad. Particularly depending on the relative ages, etc.

If it was a tasting though, I can't see the problem, given the context.

Augstine Baker · « **Reply #4 on:** August 04, 2011, 01:07:42 AM »

I'm not necessarily a fan of Evelyn Waugh, but I thought that the scene wherein he describes a shared cigarette between Charles Ryder and Julia Flyte and the underlying sɛҳuąƖ tension very illustrative of the OPs initial point.

gladius_veritatis · « **Reply #5 on:** August 04, 2011, 08:17:42 AM »

Quote from: Raoul76

Is it wrong for unmarried males and females to share the same glass, to put their lips to the same glass of iced tea, for instance?

Only if they try to do so at the same time :wink:

Elizabeth · « **Reply #6 on:** August 04, 2011, 08:38:03 AM »

Quote from: Raoul76

Is it wrong for unmarried males and females to share the same glass, to put their lips to the same glass of iced tea, for instance? How about if one person sips from the glass, and another takes a taste through a straw?

I ask because I just did this at a restaurant ( the latter scenario, the woman tasted the beverage directly from the glass, I drank the rest using a straw ). It felt a little weird to me, but I have a history of being scrupulous so I just let it go. But I wonder what people think about it.

Pointless to worry about. It would be like worrying about me serving a man an iced tea and using his napkin to wipe a spill from my cuff.

It may be about you being an only child and being sensitive to unexpected actions of your peers. People with siblings think nothing of sharing things, or even stealing each other's toothbrush, trading off vegetables, finishing another's beverage.

You are good to go, Raoul.

MaterDominici · « **Reply #7 on:** August 04, 2011, 09:08:51 AM »

Quote from: gladius_veritatis

Quote from: Raoul76
Is it wrong for unmarried males and females to share the same glass, to put their lips to the same glass of iced tea, for instance?

Only if they try to do so at the same time :wink:

:guitar:
The cutest boy
I ever saw
was sippin' so-
da from a straw.
:guitar:
I asked him if
He'd show me how
to sip some so-
da from a straw.
:guitar:

Anyone know what happens next? :wink:

parentsfortruth · « **Reply #8 on:** August 04, 2011, 10:27:25 AM »

Quote from: gladius_veritatis

Quote from: Raoul76
Is it wrong for unmarried males and females to share the same glass, to put their lips to the same glass of iced tea, for instance?

Only if they try to do so at the same time :wink:

the smart sheep · « **Reply #9 on:** August 04, 2011, 05:16:20 PM »

Quote from: MaterDominici

Quote from: gladius_veritatis
Quote from: Raoul76
Is it wrong for unmarried males and females to share the same glass, to put their lips to the same glass of iced tea, for instance?

Only if they try to do so at the same time :wink:

:guitar:
The cutest boy
I ever saw
was sippin' so-
da from a straw.
:guitar:
I asked him if
He'd show me how
to sip some so-
da from a straw.
:guitar:

Anyone know what happens next? :wink:

Then comes baby in a baby carriage? :baby:

sheep

Raoul76 · « **Reply #10 on:** August 04, 2011, 08:13:24 PM »

Well, good, I'm glad my scruples gave the site a good laugh and some hearty fun. Where else can I ask such dumb questions if not here?

Yes, Tele, I thought about that as well -- was I compromising this woman by being seen with her? She is my weekend real-estate agent, so I think it would be understood by anyone that knew either her or me that that is the nature of the relationship. Not to mention her husband knows about me and has met me, she had invited me to go out to dinner with him and their daughter earlier.

I think my body language was sufficiently stiff and formal and business-like. But we have become somewhat friendly beyond the real-estate thing, talking about family problems.

ServusSpiritusSancti · « **Reply #11 on:** August 04, 2011, 08:18:38 PM »

Just be sure you don't buy into the temptation the devil is going to fling at you, and being the Traditional Catholic you are I'm sure you know better than to fall to such a temptation. Like Elizabeth said, I'm sure you're good to go Raoul.

God Bless.

Soldat fem de Dieu · « **Reply #12 on:** August 06, 2011, 03:46:29 AM »

Quote from: Raoul76

Is it wrong for unmarried males and females to share the same glass, to put their lips to the same glass of iced tea, for instance? How about if one person sips from the glass, and another takes a taste through a straw?

I ask because I just did this at a restaurant ( the latter scenario, the woman tasted the beverage directly from the glass, I drank the rest using a straw ). It felt a little weird to me, but I have a history of being scrupulous so I just let it go. But I wonder what people think about it.

PAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Ohhhhh (LONG sigh), I can't stop crying, I am laughing so hard...

:roll-laugh2: :roll-laugh2: :roll-laugh2: :roll-laugh2: :roll-laugh2:

Deep breath... okay...

With regard to your first question, "Is it wrong for unmarried males and females to share the same glass, to put their lips to the same glass of iced tea, for instance?" - uhh, YAH~ UnLESS you are DATING! That’s NOT okay! Common etiquette would suggest, as with ANY boy/girl situation, there should always be boundaries. Never lead to temptation! It is a MUCH bigger sin when a women should suggest (by way of sharing a drink) and she lead a man to temptation, for men are much easier to sin. But if she is married.... (SHAME on you!) You need to realize, the Media encourages married older women to flirt, why, just look at the title of trash TV shows, "Desperate Housewives", "Cougar town"... I never watched these shows but read about them.. these shows say, "work it girl", and encourage no values, which lead to adultery.. I don't watch TV, I do not have a TV, specifically for this reason, it disgusts me...Marriage in the Secular world has no meaning... Now, I believe the above said question was not your situation, but what shocks me IS your situation..

The correct thing would be to ask the waiter for an extra glass, then pour a little bit in the empty glass for her to taste. OR, after she tasted with the straw, get her response. If she liked it, give her the glass of whatever it was, then order a new one untouched, for yourself! That is also classy, as well. I personally think it is tasteless when someone feels entitled to drink out of my glass – yuk! Get your OWN drink!

Be afraid, be VERY afraid, for married "Prot" women who are lost in this world, find it okay, to flirt and CHEAT... we have Hollywood to thank for that :cussing:

Also, the Devil will work on you and your scruples and give you situations to encourage you, but SOME women DO just want to be friends and nothing MORE... one must leave their ego at the door when entering a new relationship with the opposite sex because perhaps she doesn't really think or see you they way you think she thinks or sees you..

Have a nice day!

s2srea · « **Reply #13 on:** August 06, 2011, 12:44:09 PM »

As had been stated by someone else before... Raoul- I this is the woman for you! I think you two should meet. :wink:

s2srea · « **Reply #14 on:** August 06, 2011, 12:47:23 PM »

Quote from: Soldat fem de Dieu

Quote from: Raoul76
But I wonder what people think about it.

PAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Ohhhhh (LONG sigh), I can't stop crying, I am laughing so hard...

:roll-laugh2: :roll-laugh2: :roll-laugh2: :roll-laugh2: :roll-laugh2:

Deep breath... okay...

Hey- at least she was honest about how she felt ha ha ha ha.