There's some funny one-liners at another website. I took the good ones and posted them here.
Some of my favorites (rated G):
Ron Paul is fighting a battle of ideas against unarmed opponents.
Ron Paul can and will catch the gingerbread man.
A Camel would walk a mile for Ron Paul.
Ron Paul once had an arm-wrestling contest with Superman.
The loser had to agree to wear his underwear outside his pants.
If Ron Paul had lived in Sparta, the movie would have been called "1".
A Klondike bar would do anything for a Ron Paul.
The federal government had seven branches before Ron Paul
got a hold of it
Ron Paul got an email telling him he won $475 million in the
Nigerian Lottery, responded, and got his check in two days.
Ron Paul can not only break the sound barrier, but can fix it too.
When Ron Paul cuts an onion, the onion cries.
Ron Paul can't plagiarize because all original ideas are his.
Ron Paul's back is always sore because even when he sleeps he never changes his position.
Ron Paul's idea of Gun Control is both hands on the weapon.
Ron Paul can fly, but doesn't because its unconsitutional.
Ron Paul has so many morals, he has to pay for two seats on a plane.
Ron Paul could lead a horse to water AND convince it to drink, but he doesn't believe the government has the right to so he refuses.
King Midas shook hands with Ron Paul once. Nothing happened.
Ron Paul makes the U.S. dollar want to be a better currency.
Ron Paul's hemoglobin contains stainless steel, not iron.
Ron Paul has only noble gas.
When Chuck Norris gets scared, he goes to Ron Paul.
Ron Paul once ordered a Big Mac from Burger King, and got one.
While not a proctologist, Ron Paul will save this country's ___.
Ron Paul CAN believe its not butter.
When fascism goes to sleep at night, it checks under the
bed for Ron Paul.
Ron Paul taught John Wayne how to ride a horse.
Ron Paul once went on a wild goose chase, and caught the goose.
Ron Paul can kill two birds with one stone, but
doesn't because he is against violence.
Ron Paul knows how many licks it takes to get to the
center of a tootsie pop.
Ron Paul taught his old dog new tricks.
Ron Paul can strike out a batter in two pitches.
While playing poker, Ron Paul once drew five of a kind.
Ron Paul was an OB-GYN in his private practice. But in
congress, he's a proctologist.
Ron Paul knows how much wood would a woodchuck chuck
if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
The sun will go blind if it stares at Ron Paul.
Ron Paul uses the Libery Bell as an alarm clock.
Ron Paul splits atoms....with a butterknife.
Ron Paul once held a Congressional inquiry regarding the
2000 budget. There were no survivors.
Chuck Norris has a list of 5 people not to mess with.
Ron Paul is all of them.
Sliced bread is the greatest thing since Ron Paul.
Ron Paul knows where Carmen Sandiego is.
Ron Paul does not drive a car. The earth rotates in accordance with wherever Ron Paul wants his car to be when he steps out of it.