'I think it is a fair question to ask in light of this article: Where are we supposed to find traditional Catholic spouses?'That is a fair question. I have the following suggestions:
- Attend a traditional Catholic Mass (I recommend those celebrated by the SSPX) and participate in the socialising afterwards.
- Attend a traditional Catholic 'mixer'. Again, I think the SSPX sponsors one every year or every other year. I dont know the details.
- Find an otherwise decent woman, court her, but tell her you wont marry anyone who isnt Catholic. (Again.)
'1. There are traditional Catholic men who will read the Church's teachings on marriage, and those of the Fathers such as Chrysostom and are dilligently seeking for a wife who desires to fulfill this role in accordance with these teachings. But they meet with little success, and are encouraged to "lower their expectations".'In order to lead a traditional Catholic life, the bottom line is that you are going to have to afford it. My experience is that a truly tradition-minded woman will happily assume a supportive, 'subordinate', stay-at-home role... but she is not going to want to risk financial ruin because you want to play Lord of the Manor. You have to be able to earn a decent living, whether you have a technical vocation, an advanced education, are self-employed, or independently wealthy.
Face it: if you are going to marry a traditional Catholic woman and live a traditional Catholic life, you are going to need a pretty big house to shelter all the children you are going to have because you will not be using birth control. Giddy up!, right? Well, yes and no... You are going to have to feed them, clothe them, take them to the doctor's, send them to school, etc. not to mention spend time with them and teach them right from wrong. The money for that isnt going to materialize out of thin air: you are going to have to provide it.
So, dont lower your expectations: make yourself eligible by making sure you can afford a traditional Catholic _family_. That's not to say I'm trying to focus on the material, but you do have to show that you can deal with the bottom line.
'2. There are few traditional Catholic women who desire to get married (primarily under 22), who have not bought into one or more tenets of feminism, and who refuse to see the teachings of the Church and her Fathers' as antiquated or even misogynistic. These young ladies usually are courted early and marry quite young.'Then, dont court or marry them. These 'young ladies' arent Catholic, so why are you bothering with them? You arent going to fix them, so leave them alone. Focus on the traditional Catholic ones.
Anyhow, take the time to make yourself _worthy_ of a good, traditional Catholic wife. Dont waste her time or yours with romance if it isnt backed up with something substantial. Dont court a Catholic woman and show her that you are living as a monk; show her how you are genuinely interested in becoming truly one with her, marrying her and honouring God, and growing a beautiful traditional Catholic family together.
Make sure that you two are on the same sheet of music, too. Not all people -- especially women -- who call themselves 'traditional Catholic' really are. You really have to spend time with a person to truly learn about him or her.
Learn about her family. What are their values? Are her parents Catholic? Are her parents still together? What are their interests? You're not just marrying your wife: you're opening the door to her family, too. You have to be able to like them or at least get along with them.
'3. Traditional Catholic men (#1) seeking a wife seem to far outnumber Traditional Catholic young women (#2), especially on Catholic matchmaking websites.'Men typically outnumber eligible women. Which is why you need to make yourself more attractive as a potential husband. No one is going to hand you a wife: you're going to have to look for one.
You dont need to look like [insert name of generally-considered good-looking male celebrity]. You dont need to be as wealthy as Donald Trump, Bill Gates, or the House of Saud. You dont need muscles like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
You just have to be a strong, solid, self-confident, capable man. If you are, good women will know it and you wont have any trouble finding a wife. It might take time, but you'll find one.
'I was wondering if anyone would be willing to share their "courtship strategy".'I find that the ol' 'club her over her head and drag her back to your lair' works reasonably well. If you arent prone to violence, you could try copious amounts of hard liquor...
...Just joking!!!
Seriously, just focus on your Faith: be a good Catholic man. Focus on reasonable self-improvement: be able to afford a house, wife, and children. Pray for a wife... and put yourself in situations where you are likely to find one.
'Visiting other Latin Mass communities unfortunately is not an option for me, since I am the organist and choirmaster at our community. Also, I'm not into "missionary dating", particularly because I have children I am already raising in a traditional Catholic manner, and I would not want to confuse them with a mixed example.'It sounds to me like you already have some significant responsibilities. If you already have children, you will have to be able to afford them, her, *and the children that your wife* will want to have.
God bless you.