I am re-posting these here, because some people have expressed a concern that she might actually need help.
From the very beginning I was trying to be careful. On the one hand, I don't want "garbage" on my forum. On the other hand, I want to be charitable to a human being.
I don't want to be part of the media's smear campaign against Catholic priests. I know that several Novus Ordo priests have fallen prey to immorality because of their poor training (watching TV, attending Sex-ed class, studying the pervert Sigmund Freud, attending co-ed universities, etc.). But the media obsession with this topic makes it appear that all priests are suspect. The media is also using these "priest scandals" to make it appear that celibacy is impossible -- which is something the viewers are quite ready to believe, since modern man is obsessed with sex.
Please let me know if I should keep these posts up here. You can PM me or e-mail me.
Posts by LonelyServantGirl (Post #1 and #2)
Administrator of the forum:
Is there a Priest with sort of intense blue eyes that sort of seems to see into a person's soul that travels away from the Vatican?
I was wondering about that possibility, because a few years back, when I had first been trying to reconcile with my Mother, I had gotten off the phone from talking to my Mom, and I decided to go up to the local Catholic Church to see if they might be having midnight mass, and there had been a Priest that had driven up there just as I walked up there.
He was with a man named Michael that night and I believe that his name was Joseph. I remember that there had been a table of sandwiches already prepared in the backroom of the Church that night.
I remember that the Priest had walked me through the Church that night, and he showed me how to bless myself with Holy Water that night. I remember that when I touched the water to my head that night, I almost felt healed and that there was a fire being put out that had been eating me alive.
He walked me to the front of the Church and he helped me to Genuflect the whole way, because it had been a bit hard for me and he helped me up from my kneeling position at the foot of the Cross. That is when he let me into the back room, let me pick out my Rosary as if I were a child coming as if in a new form before GOD and I was not admonished for how I held my Rosary. I turned around and saw that he was eating, and I felt like I was intruding, but he held the food out to me and said that his hand was out and he was offering to me, and so I accepted with great thanks and I was filled, when I didn't even know that I had been so empty.
There was some other stuff that happened that night, that nobody believes me about, but I guess it doesn't matter now, because I ended up feeling so confused over everything that involved that Priest and how he had actually followed me around to different towns, that I threw my Rosary away and ever since I have felt more lost than ever.
Everytime that I tried to become a Nun, the Catholic Church has denied me, which tore me into pieces and made me feel more abadoned by not only my Mother, but GOD as well. I was told that GOD would be more pleased if I tried to give this Earthly life a chance and try to find myself a good man that even GOD would approve of, but it is so hard to try to accept their edict of direction for my life.
I have tried to commit myself to one guy, but we have been together for over 6 years now, and he still has not married me and he is refusing to marry me. I feel so un-wanted and un-loved.
There was a different guy though, that I had met when I was working at a Nursing Home, and he did not approve of my boyfriend, and he had offered to sweep me off of my feet and marry me, but I did not feel worthy of such a great mans' Love, so I turned him down.
I recently tried to contact him again, and I believe I have located him working in a Hospital in San Angelo, Texas.
Now that I have wrote him and let him know what I mistake I made in turning him down before, I am a little bit scared. I am scared to let myself become involved in that type of life. Something that will require commitment of a different kind.
What if I do marry him, and I feel like I might be cheating on GOD or something? I feel so lost and lonely and am scared of him actually showing up on my doorstep.
Because I have also been worried that I might have Hepatitis C. I probably inherited the disease from my Natural parents, but it makes me feel as if I am cursed. I used to bake cookies for practically everyone that I met in town, but now that I have been getting sicker, I have been coming to the realization that I might be like typhoid Mary or something, so I haven't been going out too much.
What if this guy does show up and I tell him that I might have a disease and that I need his help in getting tested, because I have no money and he decides that he wants to marry me, but he also wants to take care of me?
I feel like I might run the other way or something.
I feel really lost and lonely and scared and don't know what to do about my life.
I live in Mason, Texas.
I went to Catholic School when I was a little girl, but there are certain things I don't remember too clearly, because I was abused as a little girl and throughout most of my early adult life.
My Mom gave me away to some really bad people.
They wouldn't let me join in any extra curricular activities, except cheerleading, which I absolutely thought was a sin against GOD. Why would GOD allow a young woman to be flaunted around in such a revealing uniform that a public school requires for that activity?
For the longest of time, I thought I remembered everything about my Mom, but I have been remembering a whole lot more, since I got away from those terrible people about 6 or 7 years ago.
I am enrolled in an online university and my major is supposed to be Criminal Justice, but my faith in my self and life in general is backsliding a little bit.
I have discovered that my Mother has been in my life off and on throughout the years, and I let myself remain ignorant to that very fact, because I felt betrayed by her and by GOD.
She won't even let me use my birth name, and so I am stuck with the name that those terrible people gave me.
I have been trying to forgive my Mother, but it has been very hard for me.
She might have thought she was protecting me from certain people, but she really put me into more danger, by doing what she did.
The people that she gave me to, were always calling me names, telling me that I would never make anything of myself, they told me on a daily basis that I was worthless, they told me that I had a terrible singing voice that would even make GOD throw up, they told me I was nothing but a no-no, just like my Mother, even though I was not active. They often told me that I was too skinny, and if I gained a little bit of weight, then they would tell me that I was getting fat, they wouldn't let me make any friends, they didn't like it when I tried to go to Church, unless it was to that horrible Morman Church where their relative tried to marry every new female that he had, so they could become part of his disgusting harem.
When I tried to sign up for College and apply for scholarships, they wouldn't let me.
When I wanted a regular boyfriend, they wouldn't let me, but then they would start talking about arranging for me to sleep with certain kinds of men, because they wanted me to have a baby for them, just like Haggai the slave from the Bible. That woman that my Mother gave me to, tried to get me to sleep with her husband, so that I could have a baby for her, but I told her she was disgusting and that I wouldn't do it.
(Edited -- Too Much Information) I always felt so mortified and I often wanted to kill myself over I was having to endure on a constant day to day basis.
There was even a time around my sophmore or junior year that happened to be the last day of school and school had already let out that day, and so I tried to run away yet again, but I figured that I would get the attention of the law a bit better, if I purposefully dressed like a no-no that day and walked the highway aimlessly.
I got picked up first by the school bus, and then my adoptive grandparents showed up also, and I got grounded and part of my punishment is that I had to learn how to crochet. I absolutely felt that walking through hot coals would have been much better than learning how to crochet.
Because I had complained so much about what that womans' Mother had made me do, while she was out of the state, she bought me what appeared to be a really big skein of yarn, my own crochet hook, and made me crochet so many hours a day until she thought I could be un-grounded.
But, I did happen to get knocked around by Mr. Streeter that day, which wasn't any different than any other day, so I just sort of stood there and told him to do it again that I was actually beginning to know when I was going to get a daily beating and that he should continue with it.
At some point when I was still in High School, Mr. Streeter made me watch porn, because he said that was the best way to learn about men and women.
(Edited - T.M.I.)
Mr. Streeter's nephew that is in the Navy started molesting me about the time that I had turned 10 and it lasted off and on through the years untill I was about 17 or 18.
Theresa Marie Streeter