I just wanted to share... I've been attending another local SSPX chapel with my parents the past few weeks, and keep seeing this traditional family who, I can't help it, I just want to take a picture of! lol. They've got 9 children, the eldest is no older than 10, and its the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. I wish I could speak with the husband, but they, understandably, leave right after mass. But he, and his wife, always have such a look of peace and happiness on their faces, even with all the little one's they're taking care of, it makes me just want to talk with them, and be their friends! God bless them, they're surely on their way to sainthood for co-operating with the will of God.

Anyways, its just a beautiful example I wanted to share. I hope God blesses our marriage with as many children as they have, and that I receive the graces to guide them all to heaven.

It's funny you notice this. I've seen a few families with many children close together.

I recall one family of 9 similiarly, and another of 5. The 5 kids were *very* close together in ages and Mom was visibly pregnant.

It's funny because none of the times I can remember, did I see anything but a happy family. People have this idea that more kids = misery, or destitution, or kids screaming and causing chaos.

None of this could be further from the truth. I'm sure they have their moments, but these people seemed incredibly happy, and it's sweet to see the older kids dote on their younger siblings, my daughter does this with our 4 month old, it's natural, we've never pushed her to help.

We are not  heroes at all. We are just trying to live our faith and do God's will as best as we can. It ain't always easy but we certainly have fun along the way :smile:

I just wanted to share... I've been attending another local SSPX chapel with my parents the past few weeks, and keep seeing this traditional family who, I can't help it, I just want to take a picture of! lol. They've got 9 children, the eldest is no older than 10, and its the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. I wish I could speak with the husband, but they, understandably, leave right after mass. But he, and his wife, always have such a look of peace and happiness on their faces, even with all the little one's they're taking care of, it makes me just want to talk with them, and be their friends! God bless them, they're surely on their way to sainthood for co-operating with the will of God.

Anyways, its just a beautiful example I wanted to share. I hope God blesses our marriage with as many children as they have, and that I receive the graces to guide them all to heaven.

When I see large families like that I want to acknowledge them and congratulate them.  It does my heart good.  Especially the mother's.  I feel the same way when I see women dress like ladies.  In a way where the first place your eyes are inclined to go is their faces.  I would like to tip my hat to them and convey my admiration but it can easily be taken the wrong way.

"Why is this creep looking at me with that weird smile?"

When it in reality I am so tired of looking at the ground because of the constant immodesty that surrounds me that I am glad to finally have a chance to lift my head.

So those who dress like Catholic women day in and day out.  Consider yourself admired by the decent and by God!  :applause:

I love big families too, though I didn't come from one myself (there were 4 children in my family, but for most of my childhood there were only 3)

But we should be careful when we idealize the family that "can't be counted on two hands".

There is a difference between having as many children as possible (like the Duggars) and having all the children God sends you (= being open to life).

Some people, unfortunately, can be very judgmental of "smaller" Catholic families, as if the parents are certainly avoiding children, whether by NFP or even artificial birth control.

There are many reasons a good Catholic family might have less children. Not all women are equally fertile, and fertility drops off after 30 at a different rate for each woman. And men get older and lose fertility, too! Not everyone can find their lifetime Catholic spouse before age 20. Marrying late is CERTAINLY going to limit your family size. But marrying late is NOT one's fault.

And if you want to max out the number of children you have, you need to wean your baby as soon as possible after birth. That is, they need to be formula-fed. That is expensive, and not as good for the baby. God meant for women to nurse their babies -- but that has the side-effect of telling nature "I still have a baby" so nature doesn't let you have another one. Fertility doesn't return as quickly when the mother breastfeeds her baby exclusively (no formula). Again, this varies by individual.

So we should be careful to not judge the families that are just as Catholic but with fewer children.

Right on.

I only have two and want 12 but it a'int gonna happen.

Still fun to admire the big families thought.  Just one is a miracle.  When I hold my 2-year-old I can't help but to appreciate the miracle:

A WHOLE NEW HUMAN BEING WITH AN IMMORTAL SOUL, AND I HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH ITS EXISTENCE!!!  WOW.  I MAKE SURE TO THANK GOD FOR MAKING IT POSSIBLE!!!

My post was nice and neutral, but I really could write another post criticizing the Trad obsession with family size.

I would be willing to bet money that there are some trad couples out there that try to have as many children as possible as a sort of Trad "status symbol" or a contest to see who is the most Trad.

Unfortunately, you can't do that without automatically looking down upon those with fewer children.

Another thing I should point out -- it's not about quantity. True, the world today doesn't appreciate Life or children, and has radically different ideas about what's important in life. But for a Catholic, each child is a grave responsibility. Beware: if your children are 10 months apart, and you have 8 of them, you are not going to be able to focus on each one as much. You are more likely to be overwhelmed, and you're going to let a lot of things go. You HAVE to prioritize in such a situation.

The goal is to raise children for heaven -- All things being equal, 2 children safely in heaven is objectively better than 8 children roasting in Hell because you couldn't handle that many.

I'm not saying we should resort to NFP or birth control to only have 2 children -- I'm saying "Please don't treat it like a contest". Because even excluding NFP and birth control, the parents DO have some say in the matter (for example, the choice to breastfeed or not).

So I would advise Catholics to keep that in mind, if they are ever tempted to "compete" for who can have the largest family.

Besides, having children is the easiest and most natural thing a person can do. How can it be a badge of honor? Aren't there single "welfare moms" with lots of children? I'm sure there are many Muslims with larger families than some Trad families -- should we admire the Muslims over 1/2 the families at my traditional chapel?

What's more impressive is to have HOLY and WELL-BEHAVED children. Or to possess many virtues, a deep love and knowledge of the Faith, to love the Church and back that up with concrete action, etc.

Taking into account OPM's advice that 'insult is in the ear of the listener', I still did want to say that I indeed started this thread not to harp on or belittle those with smaller families. Actually, I've never even considered that having large families would be construed as anything more than being resigned to the will of God; the thought that it could be a competition, or obsession, of sorts has never crossed my mind, but I could easily see how it d be true.

I suppose its good to keep in mind that the idea of a large family size can be used for more than what's good. And its true, those families with smaller sized families may have smaller family sizes for a plethora of reasons, and we are no one to judge them on that account, as it is a matter of the parents, priest and God.

Wallflower, you've said it best:

Those praising large families rarely mean that small families aren't good enough. And they are rarely incapable of understanding that infertility and extenuating circuмstances exist. It's just that a large family is a more obvious conformity to God's will and in this day and age, it's refreshing. I don't begrudge anyone that refreshment even if it could be taken as a slight against me and my family.

It was indeed refreshing to see the large family I'd mentioned in the OP; if one looks closely at my post, you'll realize the chapel I mentioned was new to me, as was the experience I'd related, which I'd not encountered at the very small, private chapel I'd previously attended. And no, my dear, I would not want anyone to feel slighted. My apologies to anyone who may have felt as much.