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Offline LittleFlowers

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Job Discernment
« on: August 04, 2016, 02:47:01 AM »
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  • Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ

    I've been having some trouble at my current place of employment. I love my work, but I feel like an outcast and have been treated pretty badly where I work (I turn my cheek but, well, it does hurt, especially so much after a while, such as the bullying). I've been considering a career change to Montessori teaching. It seems like a good plan, too, for a Franciscan :)

    Any advice?

    God Bless

    Offline MaterDominici

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    « Reply #1 on: August 04, 2016, 03:58:07 PM »
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  • If you're about to be married (as mentioned in the other thread), I'd hold off on any career changes for now.
    "If I could only make the faithful sing the Kyrie, the Gloria, the Credo, the Sanctus and the Agnus Dei ... that would be to me the finest triumph sacred music could have, for it is in really taking part in the liturgy that the faithful will preserve their devotion. I would take the Tantum ...


    Offline LittleFlowers

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    « Reply #2 on: August 04, 2016, 07:49:56 PM »
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  • Quote from: MaterDominici
    If you're about to be married (as mentioned in the other thread), I'd hold off on any career changes for now.


    Thank you for the kind reply! I really appreciate this advice.

    I have had other interviews within my field and also through the church but have yet to nail another job. I'm just trying to find a little happiness in my employment. I'm overworked, underpaid, and I deal with all kinds of bad treatment. I can take the usual curveballs life throws but things have been really, really bad. It's so bad I that see a counselor about my job.

    Also I'm afraid of marrying and then getting let go, or something.

    Any prayers would be greatly appreciated and so kind.

    A little off topic but, how long does it take to find a new position?

    God Bless and thank you.

    Offline Zeitun

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    « Reply #3 on: August 04, 2016, 10:15:40 PM »
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  • Quote from: LittleFlowers
    I'm just trying to find a little happiness in my employment.


    As someone with several decades of work experience I would strongly urge you to give up this particular desire.  It's just a paycheck.  I work for a company that openly promotes sodomy and Hinduism!   :facepalm:  I don't let it bother me.  With age you will master detachment.  Be patient.  Stay focused on your goal of marriage and motherhood.  

    Offline LittleFlowers

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    « Reply #4 on: August 05, 2016, 09:51:30 AM »
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  • Quote from: Zeitun
    Quote from: LittleFlowers
    I'm just trying to find a little happiness in my employment.


    As someone with several decades of work experience I would strongly urge you to give up this particular desire.  It's just a paycheck.  I work for a company that openly promotes sodomy and Hinduism!   :facepalm:  I don't let it bother me.  With age you will master detachment.  Be patient.  Stay focused on your goal of marriage and motherhood.  


    You're very strong. That's awful! I'll pray for you.

    Detaching is very good advice, thank you. I appreciate these wise words of help. I feel that I'm not wanted around after some unfair things that happened, it's a long story. In the meanwhile I'm praying hard.

    I want nothing more than to focus on the Vocation of Matrimony and motherhood, but I need health insurance. My betrothed is a foreigner. He wants to work, but who knows how long it will take for him to be able to get a working visa to work here.

    God Bless




    Offline Degrelle

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    « Reply #5 on: August 05, 2016, 09:59:47 AM »
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  • I unfortunately must second what Zeitun said ... after about 15 years in the work force, I've come to realise that "happiness in employment" is pretty much unattainable. Firstly, work is part of the cross that's the result of Original Sin and the expulsion from paradise. It is always going to have unpleasantness.

    Secondly, given how horrible modern society is, you can most likely expect more of the same problems at any work place that you are experiencing now.

    Thirdly, women (especially those with the vocation to marriage/motherhood) are not meant to work out in the world, therefore, I believe that such people find workplace issues much more onerous and difficult to deal with than men do. You are in an unnatural situation so it is to be expected that you will be unhappy. This will not change by bouncing from job-to-job.

    Also, as someone about to get married, your husband should be supporting you and when children start coming you should stay home and take care of them so you will be exiting the work force soon. Exiting the work place before the first child comes to focus on preparing a good family home and polishing your homemaking skills would not be a bad thing.

    Offline LittleFlowers

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    « Reply #6 on: August 05, 2016, 10:09:45 AM »
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  • Quote from: Degrelle
    I unfortunately must second what Zeitun said ... after about 15 years in the work force, I've come to realise that "happiness in employment" is pretty much unattainable. Firstly, work is part of the cross that's the result of Original Sin and the expulsion from paradise. It is always going to have unpleasantness.

    Secondly, given how horrible modern society is, you can most likely expect more of the same problems at any work place that you are experiencing now.

    Thirdly, women (especially those with the vocation to marriage/motherhood) are not meant to work out in the world, therefore, I believe that such people find workplace issues much more onerous and difficult to deal with than men do. You are in an unnatural situation so it is to be expected that you will be unhappy. This will not change by bouncing from job-to-job.

    Also, as someone about to get married, your husband should be supporting you and when children start coming you should stay home and take care of them so you will be exiting the work force soon. Exiting the work place before the first child comes to focus on preparing a good family home and polishing your homemaking skills would not be a bad thing.


    Thank you so much, this is really helpful, and you're helping me understand. I think a lot of people seek happiness at work because we spend so much time at our place of employment.

    I agree with you, modern society is awful, and as a result I have to work. I want nothing more than to be a stay at home mother and cook and home-school. But, I have to work for now. My betrothed wants to work. But, our country isn't as welcoming to those who want to do the work and come here legally. It's really not fair. But I digress.

    I am going to take your advice and just bear it all. If I have to act and pretend everything is candyland when I'm really miserable, then so be it.

    God Bless

    Offline MaterDominici

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    « Reply #7 on: August 05, 2016, 03:01:34 PM »
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  • Have you considered moving to his home country?

    Your working right now may be an inconvenience, but if children are in your future, things will become increasingly difficult for you and him.

    Most men aren't terribly interested in caring for newborns 24/7 and you will be even more unhappy about leaving for work each day when it means leaving your baby behind.
    "If I could only make the faithful sing the Kyrie, the Gloria, the Credo, the Sanctus and the Agnus Dei ... that would be to me the finest triumph sacred music could have, for it is in really taking part in the liturgy that the faithful will preserve their devotion. I would take the Tantum ...


    Offline Degrelle

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    « Reply #8 on: August 05, 2016, 09:29:07 PM »
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  • Quote from: MaterDominici
    Have you considered moving to his home country?

    Your working right now may be an inconvenience, but if children are in your future, things will become increasingly difficult for you and him.

    Most men aren't terribly interested in caring for newborns 24/7 and you will be even more unhappy about leaving for work each day when it means leaving your baby behind.


    Good point.

    Plus there are other dangers to the wife assuming the role of "bread winner" and the man becoming "house husband" ...

    It is an inversion of roles, and even if he will never admit it openly, most men would silently resent being in such a position. Deep down he knows that in a Catholic household he should be the head, he should be the protector and provider, he should be the one going out and facing the world and keeping his wife and children safe at home. Many men, if denied that role and the ability to fulfill their duty will become bitter, or depressed, and it would put a lot of stress on a marriage, especially a new one (which has a lot of "growing pains") of its own.

    So I think MaterDominici offers good food for though. I've been married for over a decade. Not the longest amount of time, but enough time that I've seen a lot, but I'm still close enough in time to those early times to remember both the good and the bad.

    I find that marriage in this insane modern world, that is so strongly focussed AGAINST real marriages and families, is tough enough when things are as they should be in terms of gender roles. To add even more problems is asking for a lot of crosses. I recognize that sometimes it is unavoidable (for example if a husband is involved in a serious accident that precludes him from working).

    Offline LittleFlowers

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    « Reply #9 on: August 06, 2016, 01:42:32 PM »
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  • Thank you very much to the both of you for your replies.

    Unfortunately, where he is from in Europe, taxes take up a lot of the earnings and work is hard to find even for a citizen of the country. While I am learning the language I am not yet working proficient.

    As a result it's best he comes to the States, where it really is better (also safer). The attacks in France are awful and is a sign that things for Catholics in Europe are getting worse.

    I've discerned a lot and I have to trust in Him and do my best to "be not afraid."

    With trust in Him, I can hope that things won't always be this way, knowing that he is very educated with fluency in languages. I can bear this cross for love, in remembrance of Him as I pray for a future, flourishing family. Maybe a novena to St. Rita is a good idea.

    God Bless.


    Offline AMDGJMJ

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    « Reply #10 on: August 07, 2016, 08:37:09 PM »
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  • Quote from: LittleFlowers
    Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ

    I've been having some trouble at my current place of employment. I love my work, but I feel like an outcast and have been treated pretty badly where I work (I turn my cheek but, well, it does hurt, especially so much after a while, such as the bullying). I've been considering a career change to Montessori teaching. It seems like a good plan, too, for a Franciscan :)

    Any advice?

    God Bless


    Every job has its crosses.  My pastor always seems to be telling us that if we don't like something that we should definitely stick with it all the more in order to grow in humility and meekness.

    It will be tough, LittleFlowers, but with the help of God you shall be able to accomplish anything and everything He wants you to!

    Please know that you shall be in my prayers!  :-)
    "Jesus, Meek and Humble of Heart, make my heart like unto Thine!"

    http://whoshallfindavaliantwoman.blogspot.com/


    Offline SanMateo

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    « Reply #11 on: August 08, 2016, 05:33:06 AM »
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  • I spent my 20's changing college majors, dropping out, going back, changing careers, etc. all in order to "make money doing what I love."  It was a long process, but ultimately, I found myself working a job doing something that I enjoyed.  Once it became "work" though, I started to enjoy it less and less.  Now, I am bored and unhappy at my job, but it pays well enough for me to raise a family.  Side note:  we found out yesterday that my wife is pregnant with our first child.  

    As stated above, work is an unavoidable cross that is a result of Original Sin.  

     

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