I had a little scuffle with my 15 year old yesterday and am thinking if I should have reacted better. Basically the discussion was concerning a gαy colleague of my wife, I had made a derogatory comment, the word freak was mentioned in which my daughter argued I was being mean. After I explained how this lifestyle they lead is unacceptable to God she persisted in arguing with me in s disrespectful manner which for me crossed a line, I grabbed her by the neck for a second which made her cry, i kind of lost my cool for a bit

I grabbed her by the neck

Your daughter will never forget her father grabbing her by the neck.  You have scared her for life.  Pray she doesn't marry someone who treats her thusly.

Sean Johnson is a sick dude for thinking it's alright ("I wouldn't beat yourself up too much about it"). He is absolutely dead wrong.  It is child abuse, no matter how you slice it.

Teens can be a handful but parents are to be protectors, not aggressors.

A 15 year old is a young lady.  She should be thought of and treated as such.

I recommend you apologize to her and explain you were in the wrong to touch her in such a way and she should never accept anyone doing such to her in the future.

Next time, send her to her room until you calm down and can talk with her in a reasonable tone.

Your daughter will never forget her father grabbing her by the neck.  You have scared her for life.  Pray she doesn't marry someone who treats her thusly.

Sean Johnson is a sick dude for thinking it's alright ("I wouldn't beat yourself up too much about it"). He is absolutely dead wrong.  It is child abuse, no matter how you slice it.

Teens can be a handful but parents are to be protectors, not aggressors.

A 15 year old is a young lady.  She should be thought of and treated as such.

I recommend you apologize to her and explain you were in the wrong to touch her in such a way and she should never accept anyone doing such to her in the future.

Next time, send her to her room until you calm down and can talk with her in a reasonable tone.

Talk about jumping to conclusions!

All the OP said was that he grabbed her by the neck: He made no comments regarding whether he grabbed her from front or back of neck; squeezed or not; flung her around from this hold or not; etc).

You seem to presume he grabbed her in a violent way.

Heck, public school teachers grab kids by the neck (and the kids aren’t suffering trauma from it, and the parents aren’t suing for child abuse).

For all we know, the OP calmly put his hand around the back of her neck, and exerting minimal pressure, told her in a low voice that she should not talk to him that way.

You are presuming something much more extreme (rash judgment), and then impugning the character (me) of those giving the benefit of the doubt.

You are very wrong to do so.

Until you have more facts, you have no ability to judge rightly in this case (which is why my own response began and ended with “I could be very wrong”):

I made the Catholic benefit of the doubt, whereas you jumped (with insufficient data) to “It was life-scarring child abuse.”

I can understand this overreaction if you yourself have been the victim of child abuse, but if in fact the facts and circuмstances of the case were such as you presume them to be (ie., grabbing in a violent way), I presume the OP would not need to ask the question on a forum for something he would know was wrong.

As an aside, if you re-read my post, you won’t find me saying that which you impute you me (ie., “Sean Johnson is a sick dude for thinking it’s alright.”), or if you disagree, please quote my words saying it’s alright!

I just didn’t jump down his throat like you did; if the guy didn’t already feel bad about it, he wouldn’t have posted the thread in the first place.

Sede3:
 "[She] crossed a line"
 "I grabbed her by the neck"
 " i kind of lost my cool for a bit"
 
 All these indicate child abuse. You, unfortunately, lost an ounce, or more, of respect in your daughter's eyes. A father is PROTECTOR, not abuser. She will marry what she sees in her father. Apologize and control yourself in the future.
 

 SJ:
 "...you have the parental right to do what you did."

It doesn't matter where on the neck he grabbed her.  Grabbing any child by the neck is not corporal punishment.  It is child abuse.  No parent has the right to abuse their children.
 

 Bellatori:
 "My mother used to whoop my butt with a wooden spoon."

 See the key word here? Not child abuse.
 

 Banezian:
 Good question.
 Also, why is Sede3's wife working?

I should point out that the title of this topic does not correspond with the opening post.  Your daughter most certainly did something wrong.  She was disrespectful to you, her father.  Her violation of the Fourth Commandment had to be dealt with severely.  I don't know, specifically, how you grabbed hold of your daughter and whether it was appropriate or not for the given situation since you did not explain it all very well, but I doubt very much that your wrong, that is, if you were wrong, outweighs her most grievous wrong.

The questions you should be asking yourself is why your daughter would think arguing with you in a disrespectful manner could ever be acceptable and where she has gotten these perverted notions about ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖity.  If there has been any child abuse, it may be how and why these questions are answered, not the brief physical contact.  The people who have accused you of child abuse for that are, probably, themselves, child abusers who are probably leading their children to hell--quite literally.

Talk about jumping to conclusions!

All the OP said was that he grabbed her by the neck: He made no comments regarding whether he grabbed her from front or back of neck; squeezed or not; flung her around from this hold or not; etc).

You seem to presume he grabbed her in a violent way.

You don't think grabbing someone by the neck in an argument is violent? Try it next time you're in an argument and tell me what happens.

You don't think grabbing someone by the neck in an argument is violent? Try it next time you're in an argument and tell me what happens.

 
Any corporal punishment is violent.  Depending on what the insolent brat actually did and said, a certain degree of violence may in fact have been warranted.  It doesn't sound like she sustained any injuries from this.

Let the man deal handle this with God and his confessor.

Asking the real questions here.

2. With the above information, it is reasonable to assume, why is your wife working?

That is totally contrary to traditional Catholic morality unless it is some home-based business

The thing about people is that sometimes they want to eat (not to mention other expenses like going to the doctor or paying rent or taxes). I have learned a lot in my time as a traditional Catholic. I have learned that it is a sin for a woman to work and it is also a sin to accept government welfare so it would be best for the parents whose husband is not among the top ten percent of wage earners to have as many children as God sends them and allow them all to starve or die of diseases. This would be a good thing because as the children are baptized to let them starve would be to populate heaven since if they had eaten and grown to adulthood they probably would have sinned and been damned.