Author Topic: I have very bad doubts and compulsions... (Read 3139 times)

gobosox91 · « **on:** April 26, 2012, 10:39:39 AM »

I keep wanting to think that Jesus got His powers from the devil, Jesus have mercy on me! I'm stupid! and I can't see God when I pray, I think I'm going to the devil. I keep thinking that Jesus was raised, not by God... despite the readings on the angels speaking of Jesus as risen and how He said all authority in Heaven has been given to Him by God.

Is this Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit? the pharissees accused Him of doing work by Beelzebub and He warned of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, and Jesus they note: He was saying this because they said He had an impure spirit.

What do I do? My tenderness of my conscience is gone, and I can't feel love of God. It takes a lotta work, though. I've despaired and think I've sold my soul. I went to confession EVERY week.

Catholic Samurai · « **Reply #1 on:** April 26, 2012, 12:23:15 PM »

Say a full 15 decade Rosary each day, and recite the Act of Faith once in the morning, noon, and night. And read your Catechism daily.

Also say the 3 Hail Mary's, the prayer to Saint Michael, and a prayer to St.Joseph in the morning and at night.

Marcelino · « **Reply #2 on:** April 26, 2012, 01:34:44 PM »

Quote from: gobosox91

I keep wanting to think that Jesus got His powers from the devil, Jesus have mercy on me! I'm stupid! and I can't see God when I pray, I think I'm going to the devil. I keep thinking that Jesus was raised, not by God... despite the readings on the angels speaking of Jesus as risen and how He said all authority in Heaven has been given to Him by God.

Is this Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit? the pharissees accused Him of doing work by Beelzebub and He warned of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, and Jesus they note: He was saying this because they said He had an impure spirit.

What do I do? My tenderness of my conscience is gone, and I can't feel love of God. It takes a lotta work, though. I've despaired and think I've sold my soul. I went to confession EVERY week.

It sounds to me like you're losing control of your mind (your will seems too weak to control your passions, but you sound reasonable). In other words, it seems to me that you are being overwhelmed by your passions, because your will is to weak/unskilled to control them.

If I think of the classic example of the horse (your passions), the rider (your reason) and the things the rider uses to maintain control of the horse with, like his spurs, saddle and reins (the rider's will). O.k., so your reason seems fine and your passions seems very robust, but your will seems very weak! Therein seems to be your problem.

I'd think of the modern example of the alcoholic who goes to an AA meeting and here's the first step, which tells him he is "powerless over alcohol." In other words, his passions love to be fed booze, but his reason tells him he shouldn't drink so much, however, his will is to weak to stop himself. So, he humbles himself and goes to AA seeking help and they tell him, he has to admit he can't control himself, believe that God can control him and then turn himself over to the care of God.

Good luck, I'll say a prayer for you

Graham · « **Reply #3 on:** April 26, 2012, 01:55:08 PM »

Quote from: gobosox91

My tenderness of my conscience is gone, and I can't feel love of God.

s2srea · « **Reply #4 on:** April 26, 2012, 02:04:40 PM »

Quote from: Graham

Quote from: gobosox91
My tenderness of my conscience is gone, and I can't feel love of God.

Gobosox, thank you for sharing your difficulties with us. Remember, all of us here go though stages like this; even the greatest of saints have gone through trials of the mind and heart. Have comfort in knowing that love of God is an act of the Will, not of feelings. You can will to love God, and ask for spiritual comfort from Him and for the grace to love him more perfectly.

"Whosoever seeks, finds; he who asks, receives; and to him who knocks, it shall be opened."

Please be assured of my prayers as well

Act of Faith

O my God! I firmly believe that Thou art one God in three Divine persons, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost; I believe that Thy Divine Son became man, and died for our sins, and that he will come to, judge the living and the dead. I believe these and all the truths which the Holy Catholic Church teaches, because Thou hast revealed them, who canst neither deceive nor be deceived

Act of Hope

O my God! relying on Thy infinite goodness and promises, I hope to obtain pardon of my sins, the help of Thy grace, and life everlasting, through the merits of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Redeemer.

Act of Charity

O my God! I love Thee above all things, with my whole heart and soul, because Thou art all-good and worthy of all love. I love my neighbor as myself for the love of Thee. I forgive all who have injured me, and ask pardon of all whom I have injured.

Malleus 01 · « **Reply #5 on:** April 26, 2012, 03:40:57 PM »

Quote from: gobosox91

I keep wanting to think that Jesus got His powers from the devil, Jesus have mercy on me! I'm stupid! and I can't see God when I pray, I think I'm going to the devil. I keep thinking that Jesus was raised, not by God... despite the readings on the angels speaking of Jesus as risen and how He said all authority in Heaven has been given to Him by God.

Is this Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit? the pharissees accused Him of doing work by Beelzebub and He warned of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, and Jesus they note: He was saying this because they said He had an impure spirit.

What do I do? My tenderness of my conscience is gone, and I can't feel love of God. It takes a lotta work, though. I've despaired and think I've sold my soul. I went to confession EVERY week.

Almighty GOD is the Father , the Son and the Holy Ghost.

The Devil is created.

There is no battle between the Devil and Our Lord. Our Lord allowed himself to be tempted by a creature in order to give us example.

Jesus is GOD.

When the Pharisees accused Our Lord of having a Devil or of performing miracles by the Devil - name one GOOD MIRACLE ever performed by the Devil.

There isnt one.

Jesus already answered the Pharisees in Scripture.

What you need to do is learn the Faith.

No Catholic who knows his or her faith would ever say the things you are saying.

When we make the sign of the Cross as Catholics we say in the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost.

In the Apostles Creed we say what we Believe about the Trinity.

In the Nicene Creed we say what we believe about the Trinity.

In the Holy Gospel according to St John Chapter 1 - the Last Gospel at every low mass we read about who Jesus is.

Your post makes no sense. I have to question if you are even Catholic.

jen51 · « **Reply #6 on:** April 26, 2012, 08:03:56 PM »

Keep fighting the good fight, brother. :rahrah: You are doing well by not letting the Devil isolate you with these thoughts, and letting people know. Your world may be shaky, but remember who the Cornerstone is... the man Jesus Christ, Son of God the Father Almighty, begotten, not made.

jen51 · « **Reply #7 on:** April 26, 2012, 08:17:13 PM »

Another thing, if you haven't already, make use of sacramentals in your dwelling, on your body, in your vehicle, etc. Especially St. Benedict.

gobosox91 · « **Reply #8 on:** April 26, 2012, 08:20:01 PM »

I have a scapular with his medal on it.

jen51 · « **Reply #9 on:** April 26, 2012, 08:22:45 PM »

Wonderful. Have you had it blessed??

SeanJohnson · « **Reply #10 on:** April 26, 2012, 08:46:55 PM »

Quote from: gobosox91

I keep wanting to think that Jesus got His powers from the devil, Jesus have mercy on me! I'm stupid! and I can't see God when I pray, I think I'm going to the devil. I keep thinking that Jesus was raised, not by God... despite the readings on the angels speaking of Jesus as risen and how He said all authority in Heaven has been given to Him by God.

Is this Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit? the pharissees accused Him of doing work by Beelzebub and He warned of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, and Jesus they note: He was saying this because they said He had an impure spirit.

What do I do? My tenderness of my conscience is gone, and I can't feel love of God. It takes a lotta work, though. I've despaired and think I've sold my soul. I went to confession EVERY week.

1) You need to understand that these thoughts are not your fault

2) Actually, it is the tenderness of your conscience that causes you to feel the pain of these intrusive thoughts (i.e., you are not nearly as bad as you fear)

3) Check this with your priest, but I'm pretty sure an SSPX priest would preclude you from weekly confession (i.e., the scrupulous conscience needs to stop the bleeding, unlike the callous conscience, which would benefit from more frequent confession)

4) Coping mechanism: Play a "game" with these thoughts; like "oh yeah, that again," and shrug it off.

5) St. Alphonsus Liguori said "contra agerit" ("Do the opposite). So for temptations against the faith, you do acts of prayer and piety; against charity is good works; etc.

6) I think your problem is not so much that you are really tempted to believe the things you recount, but that you are disturbed by their persistently intrusive presence in your imagination (which causes you to become confused as to whether they are merely intrusive, or whether you are starting to believe them).

7) A sign that the thoughts are merely intrusive, rather than held beliefs, is that they cause you alarm.

8) Such thoughts are either the result of temptation/obscession, or a mind with a strong power of rationalization (i.e., intense imagination).

Question: Did you have any issues with anxiety before these thoughts intruded their way into your mind?

Question 2: Are you a convert in the last year or so?

If the answer is yes (to either or both), you can put your mind at ease immediately.

If the answer is no, please reflect upon the above.

Pax Tecuм,

Seraphim

TraditionalistThomas · « **Reply #11 on:** April 26, 2012, 08:49:51 PM »

Quote from: gobosox91

I keep wanting to think that Jesus got His powers from the devil, Jesus have mercy on me! I'm stupid! and I can't see God when I pray, I think I'm going to the devil. I keep thinking that Jesus was raised, not by God... despite the readings on the angels speaking of Jesus as risen and how He said all authority in Heaven has been given to Him by God.

Is this Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit? the pharissees accused Him of doing work by Beelzebub and He warned of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, and Jesus they note: He was saying this because they said He had an impure spirit.

What do I do? My tenderness of my conscience is gone, and I can't feel love of God. It takes a lotta work, though. I've despaired and think I've sold my soul. I went to confession EVERY week.

This is exactly what happened to me during my process of becoming Catholic. It's terrifying. Trust in the Lord, stop thinking about it, continue going to Mass as much as you can and don't let the Devil get to you. Remember that thoughts that you don't consent to aren't sins, only the ones you deliberately entertain are sinful.

All sins are forgivable by God. The unforgivable sin is final impenitence, rejecting God to the very end.

Jitpring · « **Reply #12 on:** April 26, 2012, 09:06:23 PM »

Get:

&

[url=http://www.newadvent.org/fathers/2811.htm]The Life of St. Anthony, by St. Athanasius

Notice all the material about dealing with the wretched fiend and his minions.

&

St. Ignatius' Rules for Discerning Spirits

They're sitting ducks who don't know how to peacefully discern and counter-attack evil spirits.

Marcelino · « **Reply #13 on:** April 26, 2012, 09:49:05 PM »

Quote from: Jitpring

Get:

&

[url=http://www.newadvent.org/fathers/2811.htm]The Life of St. Anthony, by St. Athanasius

Notice all the material about dealing with the wretched fiend and his minions.

&

St. Ignatius' Rules for Discerning Spirits

They're sitting ducks who don't know how to peacefully discern and counter-attack evil spirits.

Wow, cool reading list! :reading:

gobosox91 · « **Reply #14 on:** April 27, 2012, 08:37:41 AM »

I'm a lifelong Roman Catholic, who has previously suffered from intrusive thoughts and compulsions to do things.