I'm copy/pasting from my intro and then I will get into more detail. Please pray for my salvation, my spiritual director, and that God will show me His will for me.

My name is Wesley

I was a heretic and a blasphemer. I have obtained mercy because I was ignorant.

Through my own most grievous fault, I was an enemy of the Church and thought I was doing God's will. Pray for my salvation please.

Lord have mercy
Christ have mercy


Recently, God has given me much grace. I can see spirits. Angels are everywhere in the sky, and when they are flying through the sky they look just like UFOs. They are lightning fast and defy the "laws of physics."

I was given a thorn in my flesh, an angel of Satan to buffet me.

There is a fallen angel who follows me everywhere I go, day and night. God told me the exact same thing He told His Apostle, St Paul - "My grace is sufficient." He truly spoke to me.

I am having trouble discerning the Lord's will for me at this time. Please pray that He will use me as an instrument of His will.

I'm a wretched man, and unless our righteousness surpasses that of the Scribes and Pharisees, we will in no wise enter into the Kingdom of Heaven. Please pray for my salvation.

Have mercy on me, a sinner.


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As I mentioned earlier, I have a thorn in my flesh. There is literally an angel of Satan that follows me everywhere I go, day and night. It is sentient, it is able to hear my thoughts, manipulate my imagination AND my thoughts, and speak directly into my mind. It can hear my thoughts AND speak into my mind. It wants me in Hell, I am certain.

God said to me, and I am certain this was God, "My grace is sufficient." I was being attacked by many demons and praying while they were all attacking me. I don't know how long this went on for, but it was a long time. God sent an angel who removed all but one of them and said "He heard you." Right after that, our merciful LORD said to me, "My grace is sufficient."

The demon attacks me with blasphemous impurity whenever I pray or look at holy images. The more I pray, the less it seems able to do.

Please pray for me. I know that God gives sufficient grace for all souls to be saved. God also saved my life one time and said to me in a vision "you get life." He was holding the keys to life and death.

I have often wondered, has He revealed to me that I am predestined or would that be presumption?

"You get life." Months later "My grace is sufficient." Can I be assured that I am predestined?

I love our LORD and I am terrified of losing Him. This demon is much more powerful than me and I can't describe what I have been through.

It confuses me so much that I am not sure if I have committed mortal sins or not. I don't know what to confess. I can't describe how it confuses me. I now know why God told the ancient Jєωs to kill witches. Magic is indescribably evil. It does magic on me every day. I can barely remember the previous day when I wake up, although the magic isn't the only reason. Before all this happened, I was possessed and I ended up in a psych ward. They gave me an injection that blocks my dopamine and serotonin from binding. It almost killed me and it made me unable to think and feel for a long time. The Lord saved my life when I was laying in bed about to die. That leads to another concern. I use a dopaminergic drug to compensate for the fact that my dopaminergic system got messed up. It is legal, but still a drug, and the "high" is the therapeutic effect I need from it. It is called tianeptine. I am having trouble discerning how to exercise prudence and temperance. I can't see a doctor because I don't want to be sectioned (forced to go back to a psych ward and get on the poison they call "medication"). This whole experience has led me to be concerned about the church's stance on psychology. Modernism is seriously hurting the Church and the world. I saw many people in there who, now that I know exactly how to spot possession, I know for a fact were not mentally ill but possessed. Now they are possessed AND have injections in them that make them unable to think and feel. I can spot possession very easily because I have been possessed. I know what it looks like because I went through it. I know what the spirits of confusion do.

Psychology is of Satan. The DSM is literally made up by a bunch of atheists who think they can diagnose neurological disorders based on "patterns of behavior." It is a faith based religion akin to evolution. Why is the Church endorsing psychology? I am not worried about it affecting doctrine or dogma, but I KNOW it will do serious harm to the flock. It IS Satanic in every way.

I'm not possessed, and I don't think an exorcism would do anything. He told me His grace is sufficient and His Holy angel removed all but one of the demons.

As I said, I was a heretic and a blasphemer before coming back to His Holy Church, the Catholic Church. I have not been perfected in Love and I am afraid of losing our LORD forever. I know that His Heart is Sacred and perfect in every way and I don't want to lose Him. I'm such a wretched man and my sins are many.

I have talked to my spiritual director about this but he is very busy. I am going to talk to him more when he has time. He told me not to worry about the demon and to focus on God's Love.

Please pray for my salvation. If anyone has counsel to give, please give me counsel.

And yes, I can see spirits. I see demons every day (they are in churches, every house I see, the sky etc..). I am almost certain many of the spirits I see in the air are in fact angels. There are MANY of them. They look just like UFOs look on camera and they are FAST. Some of them have bright lights, and some of them have no lights and appear dark in the sky. One of them flew right by me when I was praying the Rosary, and the angel was faster than anything or anyone I have ever seen in my life as they went by me.

When spirits are close and not flying, they look different. They are almost completely invisible look almost like the heat that comes off of a fire but not exactly. It is hard to explain.

Why would God give me this grace and how can I use it for the Church? I see demons in some people. Should I be working with an exorcist?

Please pray for my salvation and please pray that the Lord will let me serve Him with the gift He has given me. I know that our gifts are supposed to be used or the good of the Church. I just need to know what He wants me to do.

Once again, please pray for my salvation. I am afraid of losing our LORD and I have sinned against the virtues of hope and faith as a result, many times. The demon has driven me to despair quite often. I don't want to despair, but I do.

Wesley, I doubt anonymous people on the web will be able to help much. You need a good raditional priest to help you. If he doesn't take your problem seriously find one who will. You can't know for certain what you are seeing is spiritual or psychological by yourself. I have a friend who suffers similarly to what you are describing. Don't despair, don't be paranoid and try your best to work through your struggles logically. I don't know you or your problems but you should fight against pride. It is an easy trap with all the stuff going on to think yourself better or more special or your plans to be more grandiose than they are. And try not to alienate those around you who care.
I apologize if I'm way offbase. What you described sounds so similar to my friend and these were his pitfalls.

Wesley, I doubt anonymous people on the web will be able to help much. You need a good raditional priest to help you. If he doesn't take your problem seriously find one who will. You can't know for certain what you are seeing is spiritual or psychological by yourself. I have a friend who suffers similarly to what you are describing. Don't despair, don't be paranoid and try your best to work through your struggles logically. I don't know you or your problems but you should fight against pride. It is an easy trap with all the stuff going on to think yourself better or more special or your plans to be more grandiose than they are. And try not to alienate those around you who care.
I apologize if I'm way offbase. What you described sounds so similar to my friend and these were his pitfalls.

I can know for certain that it is a demon. It is a sentient being. In reality, no mental problem is solely neurological unless it shows up in a brain scan (Traumatic brain injury for instance). Demons are EVERYWHERE in this world and they are behind every mental issue (anxiety, adhd, ptsd, etc etc - all demon related except anxiety is sometimes caused by angels to lead people to repentance)

I do guard against pride. My sins are many and part of what having a thorn in your flesh does is prevent pride:

2 Corinthians
7And lest the greatness of the revelations should exalt me, there was given me a sting of my flesh, an angel of Satan, to buffet me. 8For which thing thrice I besought the Lord, that it might depart from me. 9And he said to me: My grace is sufficient for thee; for power is made perfect in infirmity. Gladly therefore will I glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 10For which cause I please myself in my infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ. For when I am weak, then am I powerful.

I can't fully explain how it prevents pride. Aquinas did a decent job.

This situation I am in IS rare. I have searched and searched, and the only person I can find who has experienced this specific situation is St. Paul. God said the same thing to me that He said to St. Paul. I doubt your friend is going through this. Is there a demon who follows him everywhere and did God say that to him as well? If not, he almost certainly has recourse to get rid of the demon - and demons don't normally follow a person everywhere AND reveal themselves to the person (they prefer to remain hidden).


If people suggested to your friend he had a psychological disorder, and it really was demonic oppression of some kind, the demon 100% guaranteed used that against him. The demon can alienate people around someone they are oppressing by suggesting to the people around them it is a psychological disorder when the person knows it is a demon in an attempt to cause STRIFE. And yes, they can try to make someone think they are special to cause pride.

But when there is a thorn in your flesh (this is not simple oppression/obsession. It is like being possessed without the possession), it prevents pride. The demon can't resist doing certain things that bring a person very low. It still tries to instill pride, but it can't for reasons I can't fully explain. Check out what St Aquinas wrote about 2 corinthians. He got it right, but it is impossible to fully explain.

Make no mistake, if Christ and His Word are not the focus but rather the interpersonal relationship, worldly thought (psychology), and in addition human pride on EITHER or BOTH sides comes into play- there will be strife. Strife is not necessary for alienation (can't fully explain what they do), but it sure does help the demon do it.

Some of what demons also do is try to make someone extremely paranoid. They are smarter than us and more powerful than us. They can put thoughts in our minds as well. They communicate and strategize with one another.

Check out what St. Ignatius Loyola wrote on spiritual discernment (his rules). They are an amazing guide. God was with him when he wrote that. Every Catholic must read in my opinion. But for some reason, instead of the saint's vitally important writings on spiritual influence - psychology has been promoted.

You should go on a St. Ignatious Silent Retreat.  

Wesley, I will pray for you. Be at peace that,  though this evil spirit wants you in Hell, God has shown you his Love and desires for you to be with Him in Heaven for all Eternity. Try not to worry so much about predestination.

Also focus on Our Blessed Mother. I was pleased to hear that you prayed the Rosary. Some great saints had similar experiences to the ones you describe. the lives and writings of the saints will help you.

Quasimodo's counsel is good.  

Quote

You need a good traditional priest to help you. If he doesn't take your problem seriously find one who will.

Is the priest you are seeing traditional?
Does he take you seriously?

That's true. He did show me His Love. However, this demon does things I can't describe. When I try to remember my encounters with the Lord our God, the demon twists them in my mind. I can't explain everything it does. You are right, He does want me in Heaven for all Eternity. Thank you for comforting me. Something I also know is that for reasons that have not been revealed to the Church yet, although I don't care so much about understanding what hasn't been revealed but rather I care about loving the Lord my God and having a moral certainty I am in a state of grace, the Lord's will is not done in this world and the enemies of our salvation are truly accomplishing their goals. He wills the salvation of ALL men. That is truly His perfect, Holy Will.

I can't describe what this demon does. It does make me fear for my salvation and it has caused me to despair and lose hope. That's why I'm hoping I can KNOW I am predestined based on what the Lord our God said to me and the fact His Holy Angels have ministered to me before. If I know I am predestined, I will never despair again! I just don't want to lose our Lord. He is so amazing. His very existence is indescribable and every day I know for certain He is really there and every day I worry about losing Him.

I try to pray the divine mercy chaplet, the rosary, and the st michael chaplet every day. We should all do the same. The enemy tries hard to stop me and get me to despair when praying them.


I can't tell how seriously my priest takes me. He seems to believe me. He tells me not to worry about the demon and focus on God's Love, but I need more time to talk to him. I need counsel.


My priest is a real blessing. He told me to let go of the past and stop confessing sins that I had forgotten but already been absolved of (I was worried about dying without confessing every last sin I ever committed and he told me to delete the list I wrote on my computer and to focus on the present). He really put me at ease about that. I always worried about the obligation to confess all the sins we forgot, but he told me we aren't actually obligated. He mentioned how Jesus didn't ask people about all the sins they every committed. He taught me how it is really about where our HEART is at RIGHT NOW. He reassured me that absolution is for all my sins regardless.

My priest is always saying not to focus on the enemy and to focus on God's Love. He is always talking about God's Love. He is a real blessing. I love Father Mike.

I hope I get more time to talk to him.


Thanks for comforting me.

Does anyone know if angels ministering to you = you are predestined? The Scripture seems to indicate that.

I just don't want to start thinking I am predestined and commit the sin of presumption, but it would comfort me greatly.

Thanks again!

Often, after praying for God's peace - He grants me His peace and it is amazing. I remember one time he granted me His peace that I will never forget. I saw the geese flapping their wings at each other and had a real, peaceful laugh, for the first time in a long time - thinking about how He made them.

I hope He grants me peace every day.

Peace in Christ

Wesley,

Fr. Chad Ripperger, who works as an exorcist for the diocese of Tulsa, says in his book "Introduction to the Science of Mental Health," that..."directees must consign the care of the body daily and devoutly to the care of their guardian angel so that the angel is given more dominion over the body and therefore is more capable of protecting it from demonic influence."

Also, according to Fr. Ripperger, it is important to give up all attachment to sin, and to the viewing of sin in any manner. The demons use our past memories to remind us of sin which can also influence us indirectly towards sin, which is why its important to distance our minds from bad images. Demons can't put any bad images in our thoughts unless those images are already there. Fr. Ripperger's work is based on Thomism.

IMO, it might be a good idea, too, to give up attachment to seeing all of those angels who are around us. It's very interesting of course, but if it takes us away from our devotions and prayers, it can be a problem.

You should go on a St. Ignatious Silent Retreat.  

If only I could meditate. I can't even meditate on the mysteries when I pray.

The demon torments me in ways I can't describe when I pray, all but stopping me from praying. It is temptation then torment back and forth.

Thanks, though. I would love to do it if I thought it were possible to meditate at this point.

Quote from: He Is Love

Quote from: Meg

Wesley,

Fr. Chad Ripperger, who works as an exorcist for the diocese of Tulsa, says in his book "Introduction to the Science of Mental Health," that..."directees must consign the care of the body daily and devoutly to the care of their guardian angel so that the angel is given more dominion over the body and therefore is more capable of protecting it from demonic influence."

Also, according to Fr. Ripperger, it is important to give up all attachment to sin, and to the viewing of sin in any manner. The demons use our past memories to remind us of sin which can also influence us indirectly towards sin, which is why its important to distance our minds from bad images. Demons can't put any bad images in our thoughts unless those images are already there. Fr. Ripperger's work is based on Thomism.

IMO, it might be a good idea, too, to give up attachment to seeing all of those angels who are around us. It's very interesting of course, but if it takes us away from our devotions and prayers, it can be a problem.

Thanks. You are knowledgeable and you have wisdom. Do you think it would be the sin of presumption for me to believe I am predestined given the information I have provided here?

Have you discussed your ideas about predestination with your spiritual director?

No not yet. He is very busy. I'm going to confession in a few hours. I don't think I will talk to him about it then though, because it is the scheduled confession time for the whole parish. I am going to set up an appointment with him to talk to him. Hopefully he can give me an hour or so.

I'm inclined to believe God has revealed my predestination to me, but I don't want to sin in believing it.

When Jesus saved my life after I got poisoned and I was dying, He said "you get life." He was holding the keys to life and death in a vision. He appeared with a bright light shining from Him, and we were in the wilderness. He was the only light in the wilderness.

When He saved me from the demons by sending an angel, He said "My grace is sufficient."

Angels have ministered to me and I have heard them speak at least twice. Consider Hebrews 1:14 - Are they not all ministering spirits, sent to minister for them, who shall receive the inheritance of salvation?

This passage seems to indicate that if angels minister to you, you can be sure that you will receive the inheritance of salvation. Is my understanding correct?

Do these 3 facts of what has happened in my life = a personal revelation from God that I am predestined to inherit salvation? Would it be a sin to believe that He has truly revealed this to me?

The reason I am so caught up on this is because I have often, since receiving this thorn in my flesh, been driven to despair and hopelessness. I have gotten to the point that I thought I was too wretched to be saved. I don't have words to describe the torments, confusion, and temptations that the demon has subjected me to day and night. It has also physically attacked me, although it wasn't much. It said "pain - right side" and I could feel my right side indenting and then it had some slight pain. That was the only physical attack that I can remember, though. The pain wasn't bad at all. Christ gave me grace. I know they are powerful. That said, the other torments, confusion, temptation, and suffering I can't describe with words was admittedly very difficult for me and caused me to despair to the point of sin.

If I know I am predestined, I won't despair ever again.

Thank you for the prayers everyone. Christ has answered them. Today has been much easier and I have been granted peace this day. There has still been some torment, but it has been very minor comparatively.

I just hope my suffering is pleasing to God. If I know that my suffering pleases God, and that I am predestined, I will never despair again. I have sinned greatly against our Lord in my despair. I know I have offended Him and I am thankful that I will be able to confess that in a few hours. He gives us so much grace and He is so exceedingly merciful that it makes my despair all the more shameful. His mercy is truly endless and His treasury of compassion inexhaustible. I trust in His forgiveness. Thank you for the prayers and the counsel, everyone!